1. A large game bird native to North America, having a bald head and (in the males) a red wattle.
2. Something that is extremely or completely unsuccessful.
It's a turkey.
I have to admit I get a pleasant buzz of nostalgia this time of year, though, when all the same turkey wrecks show up again at our nation's bakeries. They're kind of like relatives: consistent, dependable, and unavoidable no matter how hard you try to convince them to take the holidays off and just take a trip to the Bahamas for once. GEEZ.
And look, the gang's all here! I'm sure you all remember Electrified Turkey:
The squiggly tire tracks are a nice touch.
Then there's the NBC Peacock Turkey:
The Flaming Football Turkey:
And a personal favorite, the "Please-don't-kill-me-I'm-just-a-wee-little-bird-stuck-in-the-side-of-a-taco" Turkey:
Silly old bird.
But just like these cakes themselves, we can always depend on bakers to prove that if there's one thing more disturbing than a turkey cake...
It's a cooked turkey cake.
Thanks to Julie P., Jenniffer P., Angelica W., Ashley K., Annie L., Andrew B., & Allison M., who I just realized all have names that start with either A or J. IT'S A PRE-THANKSGIVING MIRACLE!