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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Nov192012

What About The Twinkie?

Friends, we are gathered here today to remember an American icon: the Hostess Twinkie.

We thought he'd live forever. Heck, some of us even based our post-apocalyptic plans on it.

 And so we frittered away our time with ol' Twinkie, piling him up willy-nillie,

via

 

stacking him like LEGOs: 

via

 

and even deep-frying him:

(which I hear is delicious.)

 

But Twinkie also inspired the arts, creating a real buzz around town:

By Hungry Happenings

 

...and fostering some truly Despicable adorableness:

By Lynda of And Dipped In Chocolate

(We can only hope these were banana cream filled. "BANANA!")

 

Twinkie also played an integral part in many of our generation's weddings, joining forces with his fellow snack cakes to form a veritable pillar of class, convenience, and consternation:

 

 

Adding to the tragedy, Twinkies' fellow Hostess compatriots also share in his demise. Or, to put it more plainly: ding dong, the Ding Dong's dead.

Still, it's good to remember during this time of mourning that Twinkies brought people together.

And they had beef fat in them.

But mostly the people thing.

 

 

Dearest Twinkie, you were filled with cream, but we are filled with sadness. 

Your spongy exterior may have been reinforced with bovine blubber,

but ours will crumble under the weight of our heavy, heavy loss. 

Yea, though we walk through the aisle at Wal-Mart

with no Hostess boxes in sight,  

we shall fear no hunger...

via 

 ...for Little Debbie Swiss Rolls are still with us.

(Awww yeeeeeeah.)

 

Thanks to Mags, Lilla, & Annie S. for making me seriously crave some snack cakes right about now.

 

UPDATE: SuBee's comment today is too hysterical not to share:

"And the prophet said, cast ye your countenance toward the Walmart, and follow thy heart to the junk food aisle, for there the snack cakes are distributed in a manner wonderful to see. For the munchies are upon you, and the hunger is deep. Look with wonder upon the gifts you have been given. Of the puffed cheese and popped corn, you may eat, but not the HoHo. Of the jerky and Nutella and Doritos you may have your fill, but not the Twinkie. Of the potato chip, plain or barbecue, ranch or sugar coated, you may eat, but not the Donette. Of the oil based snack of dubious origin you may eat, but not the Ding Dong. Though your craving be deep, think not of the little chocolate cupcake with the white squiggle thereupon. For the punishment is upon us and Hostess is no more. And the people wept."

Lamentations 8:11-20

 

Thine comments hath madeth us laugheth out loudeth, SuBee. BLESS YOUR FACE.

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Reader Comments (80)

My dog is on her vet's "Twinkie diet" for her liver levels (a Twinkie a day plus Hill's Prescription Diet l/d food). Now what will she eat?!?!

November 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

A judge has ordered them back into talks after all the outcry. Will be interesting to see if they can pull something together. It actually would not astonish me if Hostess did this for the publicity and will "miraculously" be able to come to terms with the union in question and stave off closing.

Don't get me wrong - I love Hostess products. I'm just really cynical when something like this happens that a company is going for free publicity.

I have to agree with the others who say that Little Debbie doesn't compare - I feel the same way. There's just some items that you cannot substitute for the original: Velveeta, Oreos and HoHos are just three of those items.

November 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLady Kal

My first thought when I heard Hostess was not going to survive: What on earth will we eat after the Zombie Apocolypse now?! I was very proud to note my eldest child had the same thought when he heard the news. He and his friend were discussing this situation and they both suddenly felt very old; they will be the generation that witnessed the death of the Twinkie. In the very near, bleak future, there will be children who have never known the spongy, creamy goodness that is Twinkie. They will look on with blank stares as Egon demonstrates normal P.K.E. levels or when Sgt. Al Powell recites, from memory, the ingredient list to a rude convenience store clerk.

November 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Fear not! A judge has ordered Hostess into mediation. The twinkie still lives (maybe -- if they can catch up production).

November 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjan

PLEASE GOD TELL ME THERE WILL STILL BE DEVIL DOGS! Can't live without my Devil Dogs!

November 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEileen

I think the male figure on cake #7 is an old Han Solo figure, but I'm still trying to guess the woman. Yeah, the costume is familiar and I feel like I should know it, but I'm drawing a blank.

November 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTXRed

No need to bring flours.
Pour the wine for depressed guests.
Our Hostess has left.

November 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Hey guys!!! I've decided to have a name that fits with what is on my mind each time I comment, cuz I won't comment alot, and I want to make the most of it each time I _do_ comment.

I was SO EXCITED to view the potty humor of the "poop tornadoes" (bad cornicopias). This is nice, but I'm looking for something else right now...

BRING ON THE CRAP JOBS!!!

November 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPoop tornadoes

Pretty sure the cake topper on the snowball cake is Han Solo and Leia.

November 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

What about Little Debbie Cloud Cakes? Are they a decent substitute for the Twinkie? (I've never had a Little Debbie cake of any kind.)

The unions had nothing to do with Hostess' bankruptcies; have a read: http://www.politicususa.com/romney-vulture-capitalist-style-management-killed-hostess-unions.html

And yes, you can make your own Twinkies with a Canoe Pan and a good, sugary sponge cake recipe. No fuss filling: Equal parts store-bought vanilla frosting and marshmallow creme (fluff) - you can adjust the ratio to suit your taste (and swirling in seedless strawberry jam is delish). Fit a pastry bag with a narrow, round tip, and just stab the bottom of the cakes in three spots, filling as you go (there's no need to poke holes with anything else before filling. Hold the cakes while you're filling so you can feel their weight and avoid over-filling). For even better precision and neater fill-holes, get yourself a Pastry Filling Tip (Tube): http://www.restaurantsupplypro.com/product/matfer-bourgeat-167532/matfer-bourgeat

November 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjudy

Haiku Joy, puns and haiku mashup: inconceivable!

November 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKay

Haiku joy bwahahaha

November 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Haiku Joy, that was brilliant. I bow to the master.

November 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

i guess this would be under a general comment more than the Great Twinkie Debate. I have heard, not in a offical manner, mind you, that someone else might buy up the rights to make these Lil' Golden Suger Bombs that we all love so well. i do anywaty. just found the NY Times Best Seller Book, love it, have it and no one better ask to borrow it, it's mine, ya hear, all mine, (inter evil laughter here). anyway, keep up the good work....ME!!!

November 19, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersteven

I hear that we will still the twinkie in Canada as they are made by another company.

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterstacy

Hopefully the news on this is good. I hear that Hostess is in mediation right now so hope might not be lost. If all goes well they could be back in production soon. Yay. For now all is suspended but hopefully I will get my twinkie fix..or I just move to Canada lol.

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Ode to the Twinkies
To the tune "Memories"

Twinkies
Spongy cake, cream-filled goodness
What has happened to Hostess
You'll forever be missed
The cupcakes, the Ding Dongs and the HoHos as well
What will take your place?
Who can tell

Deep fried, Minions
All you can do with them
How will we be creative?
Store shelves changing, junk food rearranging
Other brands of junk food spawning

Swiss rolls
Of all chocolaty goodness
Little Debbie's has made them
In a pinch they will do
But I, I will not forget what happiness is
Twinkies, this song, is for you

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPauline

Meanwhile, the ingredients in Twinkies means that they could never be legally sold as food in Australia. :P

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterVoiceMail

I honestly never ate their snacks, but what I WILL miss is the incredible scent of bread baking at the Merita factory on I-4. This was the best place to be an I-4 hostage EVER. they cut down the time spent baking the breads but every so often you would get a Delicious whiff of fresh baked bread. That I will miss more than I can say.

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJamie Jo

That my beloved Hostess Orange Cupcakes are not represented is a tragedy.

But not as bad as Shara's husband being out of work - sorry to read that. Good luck to your husband, Shara.

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Girl from New York

Hostess cannot make Twinkies in Canada since they have sold the rights to Saputo. But fear not, Saputo will continue to make them for those of up above the 49th.

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMicha

I drove by our local Hostess store on my way to work today. All closed up and empty. They were even taking down the signs on the side of the building! made me think of this post and tear up a little...
@Haiku Joy ~ That. Was. Awesome!

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

We made minion cupcakes for my daughter's birthday. If I would have know this would be the end of Twinkies....I would have stocked up. Besides, what am I going to eat during the Zombie invasion? Those things last FOREVER!!!

November 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTerri

Eeeewww!!!! High fructose corn syrup overload! Bletch!!

I've moved on to home made cookies. Tis the season! Real sugar, and less fat!

November 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarl C

Weary not, those of you who can't get Twinkies; for across the border, in the land called Canada, you can still get Twinkies at most grocery stores: Twinkies, Wonder Bread Carry on in Canada Post Hostess

November 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSimon Tarses

Will no one mourn the loss of ole miss Suzy Q. She kept me company as a child (the 1st 40 years of childhood) and never failed to share her creamy hugs with my mouth. I would miss her more if I didn't have 2 boxes left. Excuse me, 1½. That being said...
I got Suzy Qs, $2 a piece. Get at me if you need a fix!

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCreativeDiva

To which I can only say...good riddance! I never cared for Twinkies (I ate exactly one as a child, and was disgusted at the greasy, salty undertones -- that's what being raised on healthy food does to you!), but I ate more than a few of the cupcakes as a child, before I could read or cared to read ingredients. One of the few things I liked my most repulsive relatives for was that they'd gladly buy me a pack of Hostess Cupcakes to shut me up, and that my parents' disapproval made them only happier to push them on me.

Fast-forward to my late teens, after many years living in countries with religious dietary rules and/or stricter food safety laws. When I saw what was in Hostess Cupcakes...yeah, I can't even think of eating them now, let alone Twinkies, and this post was as gag-inducing as some of the poopy-looking cakes are. Beef fat does not belong in cream-filled sweets. Hopefully, with Hostess out of business, someone will make new versions of its products, this time actually out of food rather than garbage.

November 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWhereAreMyRedShoes

@WhereAreMyRedShoes: If you hate Twinkies so much, what are you doing at a blog that celebrates them and other kinds of cakes? Especially with your dietary requirements?

November 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSimon Tarses

@muria
I think the toppers on the snoball cake are Knight Rider and Xena Warrior Princess. Or Pocahontas and John Smith...who knows?

December 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Update!!! so, i'm probably late on this, like really, really, late, but Lil Debs has a new cake called "Cloud Cakes". Twins to a twinkie :)

May 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPamela

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