My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

My Funny Valentines

My dears, the day has come when I can finally say:




Perhaps an illustration would help.

Perhaps the children should leave the room.

(Then we can rock out with our "guitars" out!)

Sometimes a problem is pretty black and white:

If ever a wreck deserved our silent reproach...


Others require a bit more brain power:

Talk about a tough cake to wrap your head around.

Btw, you disappoint me, bakers. Not a single zombie joke? Really?

(And are those eyeballs? REALLY?)


Hey now, bakers, don't give me no lip.

Or whatever this is, while you're at it.


Look, just stick with wishing us a happy Valentine's day, and we'll get along fine.

What's that?
You can't spell "Valentine's?"

Oh. Well, just abbreviate it, then.

Clearly I didn't think that one through.


Maybe if you call it something else?

Or, you know, grab the piping bag and have a hand seizure?


Tell you what: how about we give you big plastic letters to spell out the word "love," and you just plop those on a cake? Eh? Nothing to write, nothing to draw - in fact, I'd be hard pressed to think of a single way anyone could POSSIBLY mess...



Thanks to Dana B., Mindy B., Meredith B., Mary F., Marion N., Cathy W., Chris P., Laura H., & Jackie E. for bringing Valentine's Day to a new "loe."

« A V-Day Snippet | Main | Have a "Heart" »

Reader Comments (70)

Cake #4: brain? Or pile of intestines?
Either way, I'm not eating it.

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFM

I LOEV this blog.

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

You had me at "hand seizure."

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

Have a great "V.D.," guys!

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura R

My 5yo just looked at the last cake and said, "hey, they spelled it wrong! Some people don't know anything."

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHappy geek

Happy Valentine's Day to the Cake Wrecks family! WOW, these cakes, they're... something special! We just saw Jonathan Coulton in concert on Sunday night, so maybe that's why as soon I as I saw the brain cake i started singing his song "RE: Your Brains".

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJen @ Cup a Dee Cakes

Bean me now, Scottie.
Just . . . bean me. Knock my brains out
and eat with ice cream.

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I cannot believe that anyone thought a brain was romantic. Heck, DH & I are nurses and neither of us, despite our propensity toward bodily function humor, would find that cool. Does. Not. Compute.

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda Mac

I cannot figure out what cake #4 is either! But I'm sure it's not very festive for a day to celebrate love.

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercakeburnette

I think cake #7 says "Happy Love Day", and when I see cake #5, the "lips", I see Hypno Toad for some reason.

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjerewolf

I find myself not inexplicably depressed by today's cakes.

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterOldish Lady

Oh, so THIS is what they mean by "St. Valentine's Day Massacre." (I had no idea one of the victims was a mime...)

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Posts like these remind me that I'm not a native English speaker. I took me ages to see why VD would be inappropriate. Eventually (without turning to Google - afraid of NSFW results) I thought: "it must be short for veneral disease!" It's complicated, VD, STD, STI,... So many acronyms for the same thing! These wrecks make me so happy that me and my boyfriend don't celebrate Valentine's Day.

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaantje

I always try to be positive about these kinds of thing. Really! So my take on that last cake is that it was spelled as it was meant to be pronounced. As in, "I loev you, bebe." *waggles eyebrows*

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim

I'm sorry, but isn't there supposed to be an apostrophe in Valentine's Day? Celebrating the feast of St. Valentine? So "Valentine's" is a possessive? It's just that this is the one place where I can count on seeing proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation (except for on the caik's, of course)!

[Editor's note- Bwoops. You're absolutely right. I missed two apostrophes in the body of the post but in my defense, I was looking at the title which is meant to be plural so it doesn't need one. Good catch! -john (thoJ)]

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeanette

I think the lips one looks very crabbish. Also appropriate for VD.

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkim

Anyone who receives a cake on Valentine's Day should be polite and gracious and thank the giver. I will be delighted with any cake I receive today... even if it does look worse than any of these.

Some things are outside our control, and we can complain or we can put the best face on it.

Happy Valentine's Day to everybody, negativists included!

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSunshine Mary

4 is a brain, saying "your (heart symbol) is on my mind." I give that one points for originality.

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Cake #7 looks like "Happy Devo Day" to me. Are these not wrecks?

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBob

*headdesk* - Loev it!
I think those lips have a mouth...which is kinda freakin' my mind out right now.
And I hate to point this out but Valentine's day has an apostrophe as opposed to valentines which are small, foldable cards preferably with cartoon characters on them. I only mention it because your snarky comment is about spelling it correctly in the first place. *cringe *sorry

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercatplumtree

The rock your world would have been cute with a better looking guitar. As for those last two O_o

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

You guys featured a "love day" cookie-cake in a red tray last year, and I've seen enough "Enjoy Your VD" cakes (e.g. more than zero) to think they're doing that on purpose, but I was not expecting the brain. Because nothing says romance like a giant wad of ABC gum with eyeballs.

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Wreckerators should try being mimes instead. Or would that be even more annoying?

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

YES. I am so glad the LOEV cake made it!

Also, I'm kind of in love (loev?) with the brain cake. I'll take brains over hearts any day!

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJackie

That last one makes me think of a "Bad Spellcheck Theetar" video I saw somewhere. :3

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKy

I am embarrassed to say it took me a very long time (looking at the writing on the cake, looking at the "cake", looking BACK at the writing...) to figure out just what was going on with that brain cake. I'm just weird enough that, executed well, that would have been an awesome cake. The eyeballs did it for me!

V.D., hand Seizures, headdesk, oh my! Great post as always, y'all!

Happy Zombie V.D. L<3ev Guitar Day to everyone!

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

#1 - Happy ValenUp Dw?

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNo Capes

Happy Valenlts Cake Wrecks!

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNausicaa

Yes. Yes those are eyeballs. And a "Your".

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

You had me at hand seizure, but killed me with the last plastic show of loev.

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDi

Are those "LOEV" letters a set of cookie cutters? I think they are! So either they didn't actually have any appropriate flotsam available and decided to waste their actual cookie cutters, or they saw this as an excuse to jettison a set of cookie cutters that no one was buying — which would mean they're...


...both flotsam and jetsam.


Or maybe they genuinely thought someone would want to receive a set of cookie cutters as a Valentine's Day gift with their cake, which to me sounds just a step up from giving them a spatula with a red ribbon on the handle. I probably shouldn't be thinking too hard about the reasoning of people who can't even spell "love", huh?

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSteve the Pocket

I feel there is a deep philosophical meaning behind "Be Mime." But maybe that's just the cold medication speaking. Anyway, Happy VD, wreckers everywhere!

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterstaying anon.

Bob - I saw "Happy Devo Day," too! That would be a good day to have.

Much Loev to the entire Cake Wreck crew!

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

I think that mouth looks more like a playdoh creation by a four year old, kinda strange....

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterdiehardTREKKIE

In an effort to be nice today, I will say I'd happily eat the LOEV cake - I mean, look at those roses! BTW, the right corner rose - so mine. I called it! I get all the icing! Woohoo!

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterisabella

#4 -- inventive interpretation of a classic dilemma -- when it comes to "love" do you go with your gut instinct or what your brain's/mind's telling you is ideal? Or, what's real and what's just frosting on top of it?

But in this case, my gut's telling me it's all frosting and no substance, and my brain is asking "how hard did you hit your head against the desk?"

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Jen's in fine form. Can I get a witness?

#1 The electric piping bag never caught on because you have to write really fast to keep the icing from piling up. Of course, that just makes the letters pileupinstead.

#2 Hey, that's a perfectly innocent guitar. With three strings. All of your better-known Russian rock bands have these. (See 'balalaika' on Wikipedia.)

#3 'Be Mime'. In other words, let your hands do the talking. Know what I mean, eh? Nudge-nudge, wink-wink.

#4 I bet it took a lot of guts to make this one. Oh, it's a brain. Well, that certainly ramps up the warm fuzzies. Speaking of which, nothing intended to be eaten by humans should be gray. (Cue 'foods that are gray' EPCOT in 3...2...1...)

#5 No. That much red frosting shouldn't exist, let alone be found in one place.

#6 NO.

#7 What does it say that I managed to decode 'Happy Love Day'? Starting to worry, now...

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
E is very, very... out of place. Stop the band -- we gotta fix this before the next take. Meanwhile, I have this odd urge to sing my alma mater's fight song. In the voice of Ol' Blue Eyes (Frank Sinatra, for you youngsters). As if.

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Huh!....Where do you hide a Red Slug?? Apparently on the back of a Red Cat's HEAD...hmm

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarb

Pretty sure the "Enjoy your VD" was on purpose, as I have a friend who has been saying that for years. He's always been a bit cynical about "Loev".

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeneric

Hey, guys, thanks for the cheeky laughs!! At least there weren't any Happy Valentime's Day this year!!

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCharlotte

I'm not normally squeamish, but the 4th one made me squirm in my chair quite a lot. Yuck!

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEsty

That guitar needs some of that"dramatic swelling" & louder music from yesterday. LOL

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

#5 has sent me into Rocky Horror Picture Show fits!

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChazz

I am totally blaming you if I break into giggles in a few weeks when I teach sheep's brains to my Anatomy and Physiology students. That cake brain is hilarious to me.

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Am I the only one who thinks the smiley heart on the middle of #6 looks like a happy alien with no eyes?

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErin

My brother's birthday is today; I sent him this link as a "gift". Bet he'll appreciate the cookies I sent him just that much I have ideas for next year....muhahahaha

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJuice

On the brain one, is the writing on a piece of plastic? why?????? Anyway, happy V.D. everyone! I loev you!

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

At least that last one didn't wind up proclaiming "VOLE."

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterzacharyK

Ky, thanks for Bad Spelchek Theetar.

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKay

is the 4th a brain??

February 14, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertiny p elephant

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