My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The King Coup

Happy Fat Tuesday, everyone!


Yep, per our new household tradition, all King cakes and other deep-fried donuts are strictly off limits.

And just to be safe, Queen cakes are getting the boot, too.

Plus drawing on cakes with magic markers.

(The walls of your bedrooms are still fine, though, kids.)


Jokers, however, are perfectly acceptable.

Ahh, Mr. Seymore Buttz, you never fail to amuse.


Fortunately, most bakeries know they can just throw a few plastic beads and carrot-less jockeys onto pretty much anything and people will buy it, thereby enabling a blissfully King-cake-free holiday.

I hear the fun part is watching beads come out of your 3-year-old.


This next one is so sad I actually had two separate wreckporters submit photos of it:

And if that doesn't capture the spirit of exuberant revelry, nothing will.

Also, John says he's pretty sure that cake is deep-fried.


And finally, did you know that Mardi Gras was actually first celebrated in Boston?

They'd swap Boston Cream King Pies and brag about who had the best foliage.

It's true! I checked Wikipedia and everything.


Thanks to Sylvia F., Kelli W., Patty S., Kati C., Bunny G., and Eleanor B. for the wicked awesome history lesson.

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Reader Comments (63)

So, Jen and John, I guess indulging in Paczki are also ruled out at your house, too.

Paczki (pronounced 'poonch-key" are cream or jelly-filled donuts with double sugar and eggs...traditionally served on Fat Tuesday. They are Polish in origin, and were made to clean out the cupboards before Lent began.

They are tasty goodness!

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSalannB

Aww I just want to give that green cake a hug :( seymore butz is ALWAYS good for a laugh, and the others are just pathetic.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Hahaha! I remember the King Cake Fiasco of 2011 well. I hope that this years post is drama free!

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Nice black bra with nipple windows?

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Teehee. It still tickles me that the king cake post comments went so kazoo. (And I'm one of those Louisiana natives who finds them super yummy but can laugh at how crazy they can seem to non-locals and how... not pretty... they generally are.)

I'm lovin' those Bostonian Mardi Gras cakes. I'm going to be saying Happy Madi Gras all day now.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Sad Mardi Gras cake is sad. Maybe he wanted to be a Madi Grad cake.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

Ah, I see you decided to poke the bear today. Happy deep-fried donut day. Pass the Hurricanes.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLet Them Eat Cake

I have had bouts of uncontrollable, & unexplainable to my shopping partners, laughter sincethe Bakery's Mardi Gras display went up last week. It's especially humorous seeing as the king cake table is directly in front of the donut case.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjeskalee

Oh but it was such fun watching the King cake hit the fan last year! Guess I'll just have to go back to my boring old pancakes today then....

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

You know, the green CCC isn't nearly as sad if you imagine it's a turtle with a penchant for vaguely aboriginal body paint...
...that had a run-in with a steam roller.
OK. Still Sad. (I can't explain the beads -- maybe a road-side tribute?)

Between that, and the fact I have the "Ooga Chaka" (AKA Ally McBeal Dancing Baby) song stuck in my head because of the carrot-less jockeys, I'm going to need a slice of yesterday's Alzheimer's cake to forget these monstrosities.

(Exits, singing, "I'mmmmmmm hooked on some beading...")

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Little black brassiere
supporteth you not, m'dear.
Next: cake epauliere.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

More like Mardi Graaaaaaaaaaagghaaargghhugghnononononooooo...

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.

And let us never speak of king cakes again.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarcy K.

Oh MAN! I was hoping for some King Cake wrecks!!!

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTraci

Ah, who can forget the memorable King Cake bruhaha of 2011??? I still chuckle over it, and have been known to insert a well-placed *"Deep Fried!" into conversations.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Y'all rock. Your readers rock. Your commenters rock.

Thanks for the bright spot every day.

That is all.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

"... King cakes and other deep-fried donuts ..."

Ooooh, you're really asking for it, aren't you?
See you in the Epcot Bunker.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGary

LOL, I think we all understand the fear of mentioning or...heaven forbid...making fun of....the king-whatever-something deep fried with plastic in the middle-cakes/donuts/whatever label you want to put on them!

Is it just me, or is the mask one almost a kind or clever way to use the heart-shaped pan? *cricket cricket* Hmmm, just me, I guess! Maybe had they only filled THAT part of the pan...errrr...something.....

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

I actually thought the Mardi Gras Mask cookie thingy was pretty clever until the bra comments came up. Now I have this horrible fantasy of Frederick's of Hollywood diversifying into baked goods. Thanks, commenters!

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaryM

And just to make it worse, Sad Green Cake is a Cupcake Cake! Gaaaahh!

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJules

AW, I was kind of looking forward to another King Thing battle.
Could we all just fight about something else for a little while??

...and SalaanB, I would kill for some of my Babcia's Paczki right now---but that would be wrong.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Love the Boston grade school I was always envious of the East coast kids 'cause here in the Midwest we have a longer alphabet...we had to learn the written and pronounceable "r"....

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel


I don't think you'll find a greater King Cake wreck than this one:

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarasu

Jenn and HaikuJoy>I also thought of a brassiere from one of those 24 hour establishments with the neon lights when I saw that cookie "wreck". Need to be more careful when trying to re-use the heart-shaped pan.

And what in the world does the drama "Tragedy" mask have to do with Mardi Gras? Just because it's a mask doesn't mean you should....awwww, who am I kidding? We're talking about Cake Wrecks. I'm trying to insert logic in an illogical place. ;) (I'm also going to be reminded of that episode of "Angel" where the henchmen are the embodiment of Comedy/Tragedy, and are chasing the gang backstage at the ballet)

*walks off humming "Hooked on a Feeling"*

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

Cake #1: Mmmm, Voldemort in drag!

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCalum

King cake king cake king cake king cake king cake king cake king kake... I was wondering how long I could do that before that would happen.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

A coworker ordered a King Cake to be delivered today for the office... It's from Texas. I truly TRIED to keep a straight face when she was trying to explain what it was about and how to eat it... And tell other coworkers that there was a baby in the cake... I tried, I promise.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLissy

What the fark could the sad green cake be meant to be? I just...can'!

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

the 'butt' cake isn't really a BUTT, silly! that's a leftover valentine's cookie!

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenter-alisa

Ironically yesterday I found out that they are selling King Cakes on campus but found out that they were putting red hots in them instead of babies. I got into a heavy discussion with the cashier about how as a gal with roots in Louisiana that they are totally messing with the tradition of King Cakes which reminded me of the King Cake Fiasco of 2011 hehehe

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNerwen Aldarion

You know your cake is a disaster when the cake itself is unhappy.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterpunkypower

So. Much. Win.

Your comments totally make this post! I couldn't believe all the butthurt over the king cake fried donuts so this really made my day. :). Wreck on!

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKnightmareshade

What, no king cakes? I'm offended. With that out of the way...

#1 So EQ was invented on this date? Commemorating that was sound advice.

#2 Sometimes, a mask is just a mask. But not this time.

#3 A little truth in advertising, guys. It should read: 6 CT CHOCOLATE CUPCAKES BUTTER CREAM ICING WITH PICKS OR RINGS -- AND A METRIC TON OF BEADS!!! (Caution: choking hazard. May contain cupcakes. We're not sure, but the legal department we wanted to play it safe.)

#4a/b: D'awww.

#5a/b: D'aaah.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

THEY ARE NOT DEEP FRIED DONUTS!! Oh wait, we played this silly game last year. Well then, never mind.

I want to give the sad cake a little hug...and a big bite. I'm so hungry right now!

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTor2ga

Wicked great Boston cake! What do Bostonians have against the letter "R"?

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPeg D

I was really looking forward to some new pictures of deep friend donuts.. err..cinnamin rolls..umm.. brioche .. yes that's the ticket.. :)
I guess I'll have to settle for a Boston kind of madi gras.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNadine

Am I the only one puzzled by the translucent cookie?

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCoach

These are simply weird. I never knew what everyone else thought a king cake was. Around here it's a delicious baked tubepan cake - usually almond flavored and with an ALMOND in it for someone to find. I"ve never heard of the baby thing. I never associated it with fried foods. Am I part of the human race?

BTW - we're having my specially home cooked waffles for Shrove Tuesday. Me and donkey -- we get along.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDi

Oh My. It's King Cake season already? How did that happen? Wasn't it just last week we were having the King Cake debates? Damn time flies when you're laughing at cake.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeneric

A. Mobile. I know New Orleans is the big association, but Mardi Gras actually originated in Alabama.

B. Google "Joe Cain's Marry Widows" for a horrified laugh.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmethyst

I'm so confused by cake 4 I just wanna curse. I don't know why......

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah R.

I have the deep suspicion that the sad green cupcake cake represents the inevitable puddles of vomit melded with assorted lost trinkets that are left behind after a Mardi Gras parade.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have post traumatic king cake disorder, and I was just an innocent bystander! I can only imagine what's happening in Epbot land... Maybe I'll feel better if I can get myself a big slice of that Alzheimer's. Perhaps in the future the site should just go dark on Shrove Tuesday.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterms anthrope

ALL these cakes are ...sad. Not just the seasick greenies.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergobbler

Is it bad that I have desperately scoured my local bakeries in search of King Cake just so I can have a giggle and think of the EPCOT while I eat it? But alas, I don't live in the South, so apparently we Northerners are not allowed to partake, or so my local bakeries would have me believe. :(

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterA.J.

Back home in the UK we do Shrove Tuesday, aka Pancake Day to use up all the eggs and butter and chocolate spread ... and lemon and sugar ... and ... excuse me a minute, I appear to be drooling.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAllicat

No link to Hoo-Wheee? That one was FUNNY! Love this blog :-)

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEllen O

Mr. Seymour Butt's girlfriend must really love Mardi Gras with that colorful tramp stamp.

"I hear the fun part is watching beads come out of your 3-year-old." Um, no. Consenting adults, fine. But children, no.

Sorry. My glucose monitor has me starting Lent early so I'm feeling deprived and really snarky.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnimosinous

Can't wait to see the Ash Wednesday cakes...if there were such a thing.

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNo Capes

Bostonians have nothing against the letter" R". They just put it into words like "sawr".

February 21, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkelticat

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