Another Open Apology to Canada
March 19, 2012 So last week we had this troll in the comment section who wouldn't go away, forcing me to actually block someone for the first time ever.
(For those who don't know: a "troll" is someone who leaves inflammatory comments just to get a rise out of people. Things like, "Hitler rocked!" or "Grammer is stoopid" or "That poo pile looks scrumptious!")
;)
NOT SCRUMPTIOUS.
So anyway, while I was in the process of blocking the troll, I kinda sorta accidentally blocked most of Canada.
The country.
Bwoops.
;)
In this context "shool" is Canada. Try to keep up.
Fortunately I noticed my mistake right away... a couple of days later.
But all is fixed now and I feel terrible about it so today's post is for you, Canada. Because we love you. And we love beaver tails. And poutine. And learning that pronouncing "poutine" like "poo-TAN" can get you in a lot of trouble. ("Excuse me, do you know where I can get some fresh poo-tan? Miss? What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that? And what's the pepper spray foOWWWAAUUUGGHHH!!")
(Really, Canada, whoever named your signature foods had their minds seriously close to the gutter.)
Now, where were we?
Oh, right: apologizing.
HIT IT, NON-EXISTENT BOYS!
[tapping mike]
[queuing up a sultry beat]
[giving thumbs up to well-dressed backup singers]
[clearing luscious Barry White voice]
Ooooohoohoo!
Canada, baaaaby...
I'm sorry, girl...
;)
Well-dressed back up singers: "Heeeeee's reallyreallysorry SHOOP SHOOP!"
I'm sorry for, like, taking away your Cake Wrecks for two full days, baby.
;)
"Neeeearly forty-eight hours SHOOP SHOOP!"
I know I work on a computer all day, girl, but sometimes even an expert can make a mistake.
;)
"Heeeee's an expert in cat .gifs SHOOP SHOOP!"
But I know you put your trust in me, girl, and I know I can't give you all those hours back.
;)
"Yooooouuu pro'ly got lots of work done SHOOP SHOOP!"
But if you give me another chance, Canada, girl, I promise I will wreck your world. Yeah. 'Cuz, Canada, baby?
;)
(You may think it's a lie, but it's not.)
Thanks to Ted S., Allison S., Michelle M., Sara B., Ree P., Anony M., & Whitney B. for backing me up on this one. That synchronized snapping was STELLAR, you guys.
Reader Comments (80)
Eh?
And as I always think on CW Canadian posts (due to last July 4th): Barenaked Fillion. shoop, shoop
I went away for two days and missed all the excitement! Anyway, thanks for brightening my other days and keep up the good work!
Is that first cake covered with diarrhea?
THAT'S what I wanna see on my cake....
It's REALLY hard for me to believe that first cake is not smeared with real poo. Ew. I could NEVER eat that.
Poor Poor Canada
I totally thought the apology was being given by Betty White, not Barry White. I could not figure out why she had backup singers with the Shoop, Shoops until I got to the comments. Oops.
Oh man that first cake nearly made me gag. What on earth was it supposed to be? Lol I hope whoever bought it didn't fling it at the wreckerator in anger. Though that might be entertaining the poor cake didn't do it on purpose. Ugh. As for trolls they should hide under bridges where they belong! Is now probably gonna get trolled..eek.
oddly enough- Shool IS out for a lot of Canada- it being *March break* and all......
@D, sounds like you experienced a live EPCOT.
Since being preemptively offended on behalf of others is all the rage* these days, I would like to acknowledge the many positive contributions of the troll community by saying something nice about them.
As soon as I think of something, I'll say it. Don't wait up. (Bass-snare!)
*That was unplanned, too. Really. If you believe me, I'll go back under the bridge and let you pass.
Just brilliant! Unfortunately my laughter at your apology post has now tipped off my manager that i'm not doing work. Thanks, eh!
Smothermother: I heard they raised the limit to 14.7 apologies per day. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news!
And still thinking about the funny food names in England, does anyone here remember the Royal Canadian Air Farce's radio sketch about an English pub owner in Montréal being investigated by the language police because his menu isn't in French? "Monsieur, you will have to change the name of your 'toad in ze hole' to 'crapaud dans la cavité'." "But that sounds bloody awful, it does!" "Monsieur, I am not ze one who names dishes so zat zey sound like rare diseases!" *giggle* I strongly suggest you try to find a recording of it online.
I think the last cake is my favorite of all time.
LOVED the post about Canada. On behalf of Canada --- sorry for the troll!
I also love your site/facebook/twitter - it is such great materials
You rock!
Beer, eh.
I thought trolls were the sort who attacked fellow commenters or who clearly are making contrary comments just for fun. It can be hard sometimes I guess to tell when someone is just honestly disagreeing.
But here it would be obvious. Why troll CW unless there's something ... wrong ... with you ... geez... anyway, sigh.
I visit every day I can, you two run a swell site.
Just to throw a wrench in there:
There are 2 kinds of poutine (poo-teen)
1) Quebec poutine with fries, cheese curds and gravy and;
2) Acadian poutine which is a grey ball of potato with smoked pork inside which you eat with maple syrup. It really is delicious, even though it looks like a nasty grey snowball.
So happy to have wrecks back on this side of the border! Thanks, eh!
As a blogger who's just getting started, I'd like to know how you blocked an entire country? I'd like to avoid that...I'm hoping I haven't done it already. I mean, if cakewrecks could accidentally block Canada, I'm sure I could have easily blocked an entire hemisphere by now...
[Editor's note- Hi Rachel, Actually our host, Squarespace, has a feature where we can block a specific IP address which is what I tried to do. I believe the problem had to do with the internals at Rogers but suffice it to say that that one IP address blocked a whole bunch of people. No fun. Just goes to show you don't play with technical stuff you don't understand. -john]
I was starting to freak out too!
Glad this was all a misunderstanding. On behalf of the noble nation of Canada, APOLOGY ACCEPTED!
It just occurred to me that "Butter-tart" would make an okay stripper name. (IMO Canada's most delicious dessert!)
"but it's not" That was quite a blow.
My favorite Canadian food doesn't lend itself to suggestive interpretation, but it does make a nice light snack.
As a long time fan, and a Canadian, apology accepted... We still love you Jen & John!! Please keep up the great work! <3
I'm glad I was distracted and missed the outage. Otherwise I would have been traumatized. TRAUMATIZED, i say :)
Sharyn-- brilliant country fact sheet.
StriderGirl-- excellent point. Although I do notice that the French province of this former British colony is the one with the "best" suggestive food name!
TheOneonTheRight-- so that rather well done flag is in honour of us Canadian Jews?
Gravy on fries is great, cheese curds are amusing (squeak!), but I never have been able to stomach the idea of all three at once. However, Beaver Tails, smoked meat, Montreal bagels and tortiere? yum! Hmm... I do notice that classically Canadian foods aren't exactly healthy :S
SuBee-- Bieber: you can have him. PLEASE! I'd rather take credit for Canadians inventing the zipper, Pablum, discovering insulin, the IMAX, the blackberry, lightbulb.... google canadian inventions and you'll get more :)
PS Melissa-- the regular Canadian teasing is actually CW's display of affection. Akin to an 11-year-old boy teasing a cute female classmate :)
This reminds me of the o.b. (tampons) apology given to Canada a few weeks back, also in song form. Hi-lar-i-ous! The Canadians really must be such a nice people if they prompt such apologies!
http://consumerist.com/2011/12/ob-tampons-apologizes-to-canadian-customers-in-song-form.html
Now I kinda wish I twere Canadian.
Baah!!! I was wondering what happened to you!!!! I even started checking wikipedia and other sites to see if you had, for some strange reason, shut down the site! I'm so glad to see we are back in your good graces! Apology accepted!
:D :D :D
I SENT IN THE SORRY I'M SO STUPID CAKE!!!!
YES!!!!!!
@Jo - So, then, what's the story behind it?! Spill, girl, SPILL!!! :-)
lol @ sharyn
This is the funniest site, all this ............... I dont what to call it but now its funny stuff!XD
I'm sorry, Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. Troll. But that poo cake does NOT look scrumptious.
Oh, and Jen: Yay for you! Trolls are [un-scrumptious] poopooheads and you have every right in the world to block them. Unless it's illegal by freedom of speech (I absolutely HATE that kind of troll, like commenter #1 on "It's just a LITTLE soap box...")... in which case they are usually just full of it.