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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Mar062012

Naughty Bits

Note to responsible parental units: Hide ya' kids! Hide ya' wife! Today's post is rated PG!

Here's a behind-the-wreckage tidbit for ya: when you send in your submissions, they get labeled according to what you think is wrong with them. So, if you say your cake looks like a poo-covered-patriotic-pirate-cat cake, it goes in the poo-covered-patriotic-pirate-cat cake folder.

(Note to self: write post about poo-covered-patriotic-pirate-cat cakes.)

Now, my favorite to browse is the "suggestive" category, because, frankly, you guys see naughty bits in everything. It's actually kinda cute, in a maturity-of-a twelve-year-old-boy kind of way.

The only problem is you're corrupting my wife. Seriously. For example:

Me: "What's wrong with this one?"

Jen: "Umm...Oh! I see it now. It's boobs. On the face. [head tilt] In fact, if you cross your eyes a little it almost looks like a scruffy guy with his face pressed..."

Me: FORGET I ASKED.

 

Me: What about the cute little babies on clouds?

Jen: Clouds? Really? Is THAT what you see there? REALLY?

Me: What? Hey, you're not the judge of me!!

 

Jen: And I suppose you didn't snicker at ALL over the guy with the giant pole sticking out of his lap.

Me: He's FISHING.

Jen: Well, those fish are definitely getting the shaft, then. HEYOOO! Up high!

Me: YOUR PARENTS READ THIS BLOG WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

[pause]

Me: Ok, I'll bite: what's wrong with the gavel?

Jen: Er. Actually, I have no idea. I think some of our readers just have their minds in the gutter.

Me: I know, right?

Jen: Like that bathing suit one. Seriously, what's the problem there?

Me: Yeah, beats me. People are so weird.

"Is nice for you! Not."

 

Thanks to Lindsey W., Leslie W., Deb K., Ashley I., & Jane A. for today's mind-trip. To the gutter.

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Reader Comments (76)

I can happily say I have never seen Borat, but I do have one question: just how long did that baker have to look at the picture to get those details???

By the way, nice clouds.

March 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzieQ

Frankly, there are worse things to hang out of #5 than hair. Censored cake wreck, anyone?

March 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkeltikat

Cake #1: All I could see at first was a black lace thong ... but who has nipples on their ummm cheeks? LOL even Frederick's of Hollywood doesn't make a bra like THAT! Having said that, now that I've seen Cake #5, I'm kinda scared to come back tomorrow. Or go to sleep.

March 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaryM

At this point I'm glad I have no clue what Borat is and I'm afraid to find out after reading the comments on here..... the fishing cake actually looks good other than the pole lol

March 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather Kiwi

The last cake is plain frightening. How could someone eat that willingly?

March 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

I agree with M.Dale. The first cake looked like a cow (almost cute) until I read the comment. Now I can't see the cow anymore only the dirty old man.

Cake Wrecks is awesome!!!

March 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJael

Oh. Mah. GOSH. The last one will give me nightmares for weeks. It makes me want to get my lint roller out and clean it up.

March 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Thank you for scarring me for life with that last one!

March 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

OMG... when I saw the Borat cake, I actually yelled out loud, 'OMG!! NO WAY!!!'. So loud, that my neighbour in the basement apartment pounded on the roof with her broom. That's just nasty.... The suit, not the broom banging. ...er..

March 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJanet in Alberta

O.M.G. “penis angels” o.O

@Sharyn- I will never, ever be able to eat dill bread again. Seriously! I’ll think of this and laugh/choke on a piece…

March 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

I am SO glad I have never seen a Borat or anything SBC. That way there's no ref, only the disgusting cake urking around in my mind.
Could've been worse. Could've had nips.

March 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBlondie's Mom

Sadly I think I saw a picture of John Mayer wearing that last cake lmao. And I died laughing then as I am now seeing that on a cake. Wow. My mind has never left the gutter apparently and it likes it there. Thank you wreckerators for helping my mind travel just a little further away lol.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Chocolate pubic hair is bad, but not bad enough. Am I the only one who thinks the brown ' squiggles' on that last cake look like LARVAE? If you stare long enough without blinking, they seem to move...

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergobbler

Okay, Picture number three just frickin halarious!!!! Picture number four, what was that suppose to be before my mind went to the gutter? Picture number five, eeeew that is just gross. lol

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTerrie

The crassness of people never ceases to astound me. Why would anyone order that last cake? Come on people, really.

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTed C

Can someone please pass the brain bleach over here? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelonie

My colleague seemed a little down, so I introduced her to Cake Wrecks yesterday. I studiously avoided the current page (which was this post) and instead used the search feature to hunt down the Lenin cake and various baby shower horrors. She laughed hysterically for several minutes. I considered my cheering-up work complete.

Little did I know that she was about to give an exam. She went to her classroom and said to her early students, "Need a little laugh before the test? Let me project on the board a hilarious website Mrs. Haiku just showed me." The final cake, in vivid neon banana, was up on the 8-foot screen before she could say "HOLY MAN-KINI!" She said she tried to scroll away, but was riveted in fascinated terror.

Yeah, I'm now "that teacher," according to one student. I don't even know what that means, but maybe I get to wear a scarlet letter?

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I cant see anything wrong with the gavel. I tried.
And I have a very dirty mind: I laugh EVERY time someone asks for wood when we play Settlers of Catan. And we play a lot...

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commentersarah

Me: "Hmm, think I'll check the latest Cake Wrecks before I go brush the dog... hahahah, these are hilarious! Bahahaha, oh these are wonderful hehehe *scrolls down to last cake*
AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!" *reaches up to claw eyeballs out with fingernails*

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

Hey, the fishing cake is mine! I just got a call telling me it was on here. I can see it now, lol. Oh my. It was not what I intended. Too funny. However, the picture is a bit off color so you can't see the string and bobber in the water. It was my first time making a person from fondant. Hey I tried. ;o)

Here is the top view, so you can see the string.

http://pinterest.com/pin/177399672791760037/

March 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMia

BWA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Thanks you two for providing an episode of "I laughed so hard it hurts"! Not just the cakes <snort!> but the commentary too.

BTW, gavel wasn't even in the ballpark (oop, sorry - no pun intended) of what I thought that CCC might represent...and the short-and-curlies on the last one? Urgghh! Could you EAT that?!?

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkrunchifrog

Cakes should NOT have pubes. Ever.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHoundmom

Every time I look at this site I laugh like a crazy woman. (My cat looks at me with the funniest expression.) I would like to have been a fly on the wall to hear the ordering discussion on the last cake.

How did you know that the CCC was supposed to be a gavel?

March 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

*Looks at last cake* AUGH! MY EYES! Who has the brain bleach!?

April 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEquues Cinema

#5 Must......warn......others........

Seriously, Ewwwwwwww!

May 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrocketride

I see clouds............OOoooooooooohhhhhhhhh, wwaaaaaiiit........

October 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTokaiyaBMalfoy

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