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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Mar092012

Now That's a Bad Day

Where is the moment we needed the most?

You kick up the leaves and the Volvo is lost...

You tell me your blue skies fade to grey

Your baker still hates you, too, they say

But I don't need no carryin' on!


You fall in the line just to hit a new low

You pretend that you meant to, but everyone knows


You tell me it's hard working here offline

Your coworkers mock you all the time

But I don't need no carryin' on!


So you had a bad day

You're itching downtown,

You sing a sad song just to drown out the sound!


You say you must know,

You tell me don't lie,

Then you work on a smile and you opt for the pie.


You had a bad day!

Now that's a bad day.

 

Thanks to wreckporters Connie L., Deborah P., Melissa F., Fribby, Monique R., Anony M., & Rachel B. for inspiring a new CW policy: from now on, we want any and all apologies handwritten. ON CAKE.

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Reader Comments (107)

Anyone else see pi on the "Here's your stupid cake" cake?

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMimiheart

Jen and John!
I want you to see what cicada at Bioephemera found! :)
http://bioephemera.com/2012/03/03/have-your-wonder-cabinet-and-eat-it-too/#more-1304

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrosencreature

These are hilarious.

Also, what's wrong with people?!!?

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErica

@Andrea -- So funny. Now I'm convinced Theardare the cat (we've been calling him "Threadbare") actually IS the vomit cat.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I love the second one! So funny! And the "you're dead to us now" is totally something I could see happening in the IT department here at work. They're just the kind of people who would get a funny cake like that. Thanks for the laughs today! Great post!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

STOP IT!! These are disturbing and hilarious in all the right ways. :-) I'm sorry I said disturbing. Better than me projectile vomiting all over your cat, isn't it? :-)

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPaula Kiger

The crown must be for a drama queen.

"Here's your stupid cake!" isn't quite on par with "Here's your ****ing cake!"

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

All your posts are hilarious, but this one takes the cake (no pun intended). Definitely one of the funniest ones ever!! Poor cat!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnita

That was tooo funny, I almost peed!! ....almost.....

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

I'm really glad that I was not drinking any beverages while reading this, as I'm sure I would have spewed all over my laptop. Hilarious cakes, and even more hilarious song spoofage - well done, Jen. :)

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Seriously, everything comes across better when it's written on cake! Think about it. An email that says "You're fired" is kinda scary but put it on a cake in curly icing and add some sprinkles and.... wait... it still sucks but now you don't have to buy cake to comfort yourself!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPaula

@Mimiheart, Yes, I saw the pi immediately, but I'm a math professor (which may explain my mindset); also pi day is coming up next week. Still, it is nice to know that I'm not the only one.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMariaTeresa

This post almost made me have to send my employer a cake: "I'm sorry I snorted Pepsi all over your computer."

Fittingly enough, it was the cat cake that nearly caused it.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErin

For my birthday Tuesday, I had surprise visits from some out of town friends. They brought their dog which happened to have (how to put this) let's say liquid bowel episodes all over my carpet.

I don't fault the friends or even the dog (he's in his last stage of life with several health issues), but now I'm thinking I should've gotten a cake out of the situation! I'm sure it would've been something like that last one!

Meh, not like I've never done anything I should have sent an apology cake for! :^D

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterApple

Note to self: Do not read Cake Wrecks at work in my cubicle where everyone can hear me laughing hysterically.
Sugar and butter are the answer for most of life's ills. However, vomiting on a cat... not so sure about that one.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

I don't know which cake I'd like to receive most - the "You're Dead To Us" cake or the "Nobody Loves You" one. Assuming they are given ironically, that is. Maybe I'd split the difference and get "Here's Your Stupid Cake."

The lettering is pretty nice on most of these!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercal

Okay--I _thought_ I was having a bad day. But I'm not going to complain anymore. Because no-one has tossed their cookies on me. Or my cat. Or stolen my car. Yay!

You can always be counted on for a laugh, or at least a smile. Thanks!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

When you make a mistake, say it with cake!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLori

What did Mom send big brother after little sister's birthday cake and ask him to have them write something on it? I would not want to be the one getting the Herpies cookie cake. lol I got this horrible picture in my head of the last cake and the cat that was just puked on. lol And now I have that stupid song in my head. lol

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTerrie

OMG...this needs a NSFW warning. Not for the content but for the uncontrollable howling LOL and tears! ROFMAO!!!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMeri

I was the recipient of the "Nobody Loves You" cake, and my only complaint was that it wasn't nearly as hateful as I had hoped. I'd actually requested that the baker write "Your mother was a whore and your hair is frizzy and unmanageable," but it wouldn't fit, and also the baker refused.

And no, it wasn't a CCC. It was just plain good.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterhauntedheadnc

Was the first cake for the victim or the perpetrator? "To the person or persons who stole my Yugo: you are now driving a Yugo. Sorry about that."

I don't really know the song, but the post was excellent.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

Poor cat...I suppose I could feel back for the people receiving these cakes as well, but really i feel bad for the cat. cat's clean themselves with their tongues...ew

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRystall

Gee... Now I have that song stuck in my head. I think I deserve a very specific apology cake for that

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJackie

Very clever editing of those lyrics! Now this song will be stuck in my head all day. Hilarious post!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEllen Lloyd

Thank you Jen I needed this today.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

You know all these bakers go home and tell their families about the crazy thing someone wanted them to write on a cake. I just got the most evil urge to go to a bakery and order 3 identical cakes that say, "I'm pregnant. Could you please take a DNA test?" just to watch the baker's face.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Since I actually did have a bad day, this post was direly needed!! Thank you!

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

"Sorry about your carjacking"? Here's some fruit on a cheerfully decorated cake. Yes, that is exactly what would make me feel better after having my car stolen by a criminal...

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergabsmom

OMG!! I started the snickers at the first cake, got into a chuckle at the '15 people seen it', and then howled with laughter at the herpes cake, and when I got to the last cake, I completely lost it! I'm still wiping away tears!!!

My cat is staring at me, wondering what is so darn funny... :-)

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTammy

I now have just confirmed that Jen is the best blogger ever. This was amazing.

I agree, the last cake cracked me up...I was just having a conversation the other day wondering if, since there is HCl acid in our stomachs, projectile vomiting could be a superpower/weapon?

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBrie

All I can think of is the poor cat. How do you projectile vomit on a cat? They’re usually fast little buggers and, therefore, hard targets. My sister’s late cat did vomit on me once and, yes, it was deliberate. (go ahead, I’ll wait while you laugh) I love how so many of us are commenting on the cat!!

@Krud- they probably won’t mind and the rest of us would LOVE to see that!

(mumbling in embarrassment) Will somebody name the stoopid song anyway? Usually someone does and I don’t think I know this one.

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

What if the "Sorry about the herpes" is because "I gave it to you"???? Do you think a cake covers that? I mean, is everything square now, all in harmony?

March 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKnittedbooties

Honestly I hope the cat got revenge on this person. Sheesh. I can't stop laughing at the herpes cake. Guess it could be worse it could be the valentine's day v.d cakes lmao. Man this just cheered me up seeing all the crazy cakes..

March 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Here's your stupid comment.

March 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArrietty the Borrower

When I owned a bakery, there were a few customers I would've loved writting "Here's your stupid cake" to. ;-)

March 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTonia

As much as I love cake, especially home made with chocolate frosting and sprinkles, I just don't think I could eat from a cake with the words projectile vomited on it.

March 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatimomkat

The cat cake is pretty amazing, but #4 had me stuffing my fist in my mouth so I wouldn't wake up the whole house roaring with laughter.
God I hope I get a cake like that when I leave my job....

March 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

HERES YOUR STUPID CAKE

So rude, so immature, these cakes describe me to a T. lol Hope whoever got them had a sense of humor.

March 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterISA

I love these posts but today is really a funny one and I really love the clever choice of song. You had me singing it to my Big Guy as I showed him the funny photos!

Oh, man! Most of those made me cackle with delight!!

March 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

@Barbara Anne

Ta-da! For you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gH476CxJxfg

March 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

@Barbara Anne: "You Had a Bad Day" by Daniel Powter.

March 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I don't know which has me crying with laughter more - the song & pictures or the comments by hauntedheadnc and sharyn. And all I can think is, "The cat! THE CAT!!!" Thank you for the much needed laughs.
The song is "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter. Great song :-)

March 10, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbmbagain803

As usual your writing is just as funny if not funnier than the cakes. "You're itching downtown" HAHAHA! !!!

March 10, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterflowergirl

@Sharyn & bmbagain803 tanku
@Haiku Joy owowowearwormearwormowowowow (tanku, though)

@Sharyn again I say we set up a date and time (across as many different time zones on the planet as possible) and have women go in and order cakes like that! we could all have video camera accomplices and then create our own Utube channel. if you dissolve into tears and leave without completing the order- so much the better! it's a CW Flash Mob!!! OMG of course, not to leave the men out- they could order "I've got herpes and you should get tested" cakes

March 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

@Barbara Anne: Bwahahahah. I REALLY like the idea of a CW flash mob. My 74year old Mom could pull off ordering the cakes with a straight face -- I may have to fly home to watch it. Maybe we could combine it with the peed on pregnancy test cake, so each cake gets a test. Guys could order multiples of "He's not mine. I'm sterile." They'd get extra points if the baker slapped them.

(You know, we really SHOULD use our powers for good...)

Nah.

March 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Trying to decide if it's bad that I had to go back to the "You're dead to us now" to make sure they spelled "You're" correctly or worse that I was surprised and had to double-check. I love these!

March 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSheryl

#4 seems to be sitting on the counter of a tattoo shop, so it makes quite a bit of sense. them tattoo people and their weird dark humor . . .

March 11, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteremor

how is that someone can spell that whole bit about the projectile vomiting correctly, but yet some people can't spell "jennifer"....boggles.

March 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaurel

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