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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Apr122012

Castle Came-A-Lot

Making a castle cake?

Then here's a tip (or seven):

Photo removed at the baker's request.  Please enjoy this lovely picture of Epcot.

Always use protection.

As you can see, King Richard erected a castle here so safe it's absolutely guaranteed that nothing comes in OR out, no matter how hard the wind blows.

 

ACTUAL CONVERSATION I JUST HAD WITH JOHN:

John: "Uh, Jen, it was King Arthur, not King Richard."

Me: [deadpan stare]

John: "Oh! Ahahahaa! Ok, I like where your head's at."

Me: "Tell it to King Richard, dude."

 

A seven turret salute to Sarah for finding a cake where the rubber meets the moat. 

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Reader Comments (146)

Happy Penis Day to you, happy penis day to you, happy penis day dear.....oops it is a little girl, need to rethink this cake a little...maybe a bachelorette party instead?

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Talk about Barbie's dream Castle.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKelsey

We all know the dangers of drinking coffee/tea/etc. while reading this blog. I have a new one. Avoid eating mixed nuts (which is actually oddly appropriate for this particular entry), because I aspirated a piece of cashew and nearly asphyxiated myself. Hilarious blog and comments. And King Richard is far more (in)appropriate than Arthur.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLizzie!

The veins are bad but the wart-like flowers are worse. Shudder

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErica S

What a overload of pink!! Maybe it'd be better if it was blue? No.... purple won't do either. Hmmm, how about green? I give up - there's no color that will make this castle better. LOL.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

@zoomom -- it is every man's wish that his castle tower has a heart on....

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Reminds me of the castle on the original videotape release of The Little Mermaid. What is it with phallic castles?

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterYuck

Just as an FYI, "Sir Richard" is a prophylactic company in the US out of Colorado.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarolyn

alrighty then. I guess if we can have condoms in school we can go ahead and start putting them on our cakes? What's next, will Elmo start talking about them on Seseme Street? Oh, I am going political here. lol Just kidding this cake is nothing but sheer funnyness. I think I am going to tell my sister to come take a peek. Lol

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTerrie

Okay. So eventually I got the Richard thing... but first I thought these up:

"A condom, a condom, my kingdom for a condom."

"Now is the contraception of our discontent."

"The midwife wondered and the woman cried..."

Okay so I was in Richard III recently, and I do have the mind of a 15 year old... being a 15 year old...

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIzzy

So, the funny this is, I got the King Richard reference right away. Why? Because in the kitchen I work in, we call co-workers 'Richard' or 'Ricky' when they pull an a-hole maneuver. And then our chef is referred to as 'King Richard' specifically, as needed. ;)

Love it. And love the 'Holy Grail' tie in above. Came-a-lot IS a sticky place!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSteph C.

'tis not a prick; it's just a flesh wound!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrailgal922

Oh, thank goodness I FINALLY have learned never to drink and visit Cakewrecks at the same time! Individually, the two of you are funny, but together? Hilarious. That is all.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTashablueyes

Just looking at the picture I new what it would be all about. All I could think about was when my boys learned they had a p---s. P---S! P---S! P---S! as they ran around the house. Sorry. Mind in the gutter today. These wrecks just make me laugh til I have to pee!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

Oh. My. This is soooo wrong on soooo many different levels.
Wow. Wowie wow wow.

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

King Richard the LOINheart?

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNasus

HaikuJoy, SuBee, mel, and sooo many others - SOOO funny!!!

On the flip side, what's the deal w/EpcotLover? What's this about us making fun of his/her king, etc? Was that comment serious, an attempt @ sarcasm, or something else? I totally didn't get it... (And I got the "King Richard" thing after I read the little conversation between Jen & John(thoj)... :-)

PS to mel - I would *love* an informal get together for "Wreckporters" sometime! Did it years ago for a little show called "Space: Above & Beyond". There were some fan Cons after the show ended & I was lucky enough to attend one. Now all the formal sci-fi Cons are waaaay too expensive - what do they think, that sci-fi fans are made of money & meant to be milked for all we're worth?! <getting down off the soap box now...>

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

I cannot think of a single comment about this cake that isn’t more revolting than funny. I will limit myself to this:
I saw the title and then saw there were already over a 100 comments. I took a little break before reading- went to the loo, put my drink on a stable surface far away, made sure to close the door as the dog is napping in the living room and doesn’t approve of my roaring with laughter, took a deep breath and scrolled down. Dog is annoyed and I had to rush back to the loo to pee again. Good times.

I don’t know where mel had been hiding but he’s baaaack!
@Andrea- thank you for going there first with the earworm! : )
@Eric “DONG..... DONG..... DONG.....” Oh, dude, that was brilliant! (gasping for air)

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Jamie was a boys' name too. Past tense. There were three Jamies on our street when he was born, all men, so I thought nothing of it. Jamie is now a feminine name. If he'd been more outgoing, I'd have gotten him a tux and taken him to one of the many pageants he was invited to. Wouldn't the organizers have been surprised - scores of pretty little painted preschoolers and one without sparkly eye shadow. Ha!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermouse

As per Monty Python...RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY!!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGiselaT

Oh please. Nobody's turrets are THAT big!

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErica

@diddleymaz: Marion Robert Morrison aka John Wayne. All I asked was how many females do you know that have male names. But lets not argue about it. Having been named for my granddad, and him having been named for a distant scot ancestor, I am a proud female Allison. And yes I was aware that its a surname originally. I had one guy joke that I must really be a boy. I asked him if he was really a girl, named for Cameron Diaz.

April 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkelticat

Oh man I almost can't breathe from laughing so hard. And sadly I understood what you were going for so my mind is staying in the gutter the rest of the night. Ah well thank you wreckerator for making this cake lol so very..pink.

April 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Mel, Mel, how did you possibly make this magnificent cake even funnier?
Oh, and Jen, I was right there with you with "King Richard." I'd like to blame Cake Wrecks for my dirty mind, but no, no, I always had it.

April 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

@Bea and @Craig - didn't The Friendly Giant have a sidekick, a "rooster" who lived in a bag...?

I see this as a revenge cake, the parent's angered the wreckorator in some way, so a cake that would delight the child and horrify the parents was created. The bonus being that in the future the parents will be punished again when the photos of the big day are dragged out and the kid sees through more knowing eyes what the castle really looks like.

Strawberry Wobbler would be an appropriate accompaniment.

April 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGerome

KarateLady, the EpcotLover comment is poking fun at a similar comment made on yesterday's post, which was just as inexplicable. Actually, the comment on yesterday's post is even more confusing, given that it seems to be serious, whereas EpcotLover is not.

April 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommentertheangelJean

@KaratLady
Sorry-It was a play on a post by JT, who's reatction to the PanTastic was:
"I think it's sooooo adorable how y'all think it's just fine to make fun of our state! And you actually think y'all have some sort of supreme right to tell OUR legislators who work for US, not those who live in OTHER states, what to do! Just adorable! But let me advise you, please don't lay a foot in our state. It might lead to some awkward situations, as our state motto is "Don't Lay That Trash on Oklahoma!" I'm sure you see the problem,"
even though no one appeared to be making fun of his or her state.

You win a few, you lose a few.

[Editor's note- I thought it was awesome. I actually read your comment out loud to Jen when it first came in. I'd say that's a win... -john (thoJ)]

April 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEpcotLover

I bet they also have enormous...tracts of land in that kingdom.

April 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHowlin Mad

To be serious for but a moment, I wonder if those are strawberries, dipped in some kind of candy coating. If so, I give the wreckerator credit for an interesting idea, using the strawberries as part of the shape of the finished product and not just decorative toppers.

However, the end result is... well, what we all see here. Reading through the comments has been just as hilarious as the original post itself. Kudos to the commenters!!

(While we're at it, Lee, Kim, Leslie, Carol, Shannon -- all names of dubious genderization. I don't know off the top of my head the ORIGINAL gender use of each, but as with many words in many languages, the original usage is often quite irrelevant to the modern usage, and is interesting only in terms of historical understanding. It does not negate modern usage. If there are a thousand girls who now have what was traditionally a boy's name, then it is now, by practice and by definition, also a girl's name.)

April 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterheather

Sometimes, "Wow!" is all I can say.

April 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCeeCee

"Look waayy up...and I'll call Rusty!" The Friendly Giant usually began with this line.

Let's add Sidney, Dion, Cor(e)y, Taylor, Riley, Mackenzie, to the list of boy/girl names; I'm sure there are more!!

I thought EpcotLover did a good job, too.

April 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEla

@Gerome - Yes! There was a rooster in a bag! Oh no! My childhood memories are being tarnished. There was also a giraffe (I assume you know, since you share his name) who didn't have a body; he was all head.

April 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

"Mommy? Why is my cake vibrating?"

April 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCatlinye

Thanks for the EpcotLover explanation. Not having seen yesterday's weird post I was clueless, but I tried in vain (vein?) to make that "don't lay your trash in Camelot" into a sex joke because I'm pretty sure at one point in our lives we used to get laid but nowadays we just get nailed. Anyway, be sure to use protection if you're going to lay trash rather it be Camelot trash or OK trash (which I suspect is not really OK).

April 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPee Jay

Oh nooo!!! Poor Aubrey!!!

April 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoanie

Catlinye, you got a big snort out me with your vibrating cake comment. Thanks

April 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKay

"let them eat cake" now gives me pause.......for who could bite into such a creation without causing great angst?

April 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlovie

I feel bad for the one in the middle on the top. It gets left out a lot.

April 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIzzy

My sister looked at the towers and asked why they put baby bottles on the cake. and then said "baby bottles...or something."

April 14, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkelticat

"It's only a model"

Thank you Monty Python and other Wreck fans.

April 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTekoa

It's the cousin casle cum-a-lot :P

April 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGabriela

http://www.flickr.com/photos/clevercupcakes/3808078114/ a smaller version?

April 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSA

Maybe it's a party for older girls and the center is the only real part of the cake with the rest being party favors. Now, THAT'S a party!

April 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDorinda

Okay, I am new here to your site & I just Had to comment. The commentary on this site is HILARIOUS, it is definitely what makes the site! You have me dying over here.. BOOKMARKED! =D

April 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCC

I missed the photo!! So sad to miss such an opportunity.

May 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJes

I need to check this site on a more regular basis. I keep missing out on the image before it's removed and replaced with epcot goodness! :(

June 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBTW

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