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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Apr252012

Oh boy...

[breathing]

Okay, john... you don't have to vomit. You can get through this...

[sipping Pepto]

I mean sure, you shouldn't have looked at it but it's just a cake...

[pacing]

I mean, somebody ate it...

[gagging]
[sweating]
[tearing up]

Maybe if I just look at it again, I can get it over wi...

BLUARGARGARGURG!!!

 

Thanks to Sam H. for being such a toe-tally fungi.

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Reader Comments (203)

Ok, now we know where all those exorbitant doctor specialist fees go...

I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!! Geez, the least they could do is put my money to good use by buying a Porche or a mansion, but NOOOOOO, they gotta buy hideous cakes celebrating their chosen specialties in horrific, real-life, intricate, DETAIL!!!! AAAIIIGGGHHH!!!!

(heading for the nearest empty container...) Ah, a nice big pot! I hate that plant anyway.... *GggggUGH!!!!*

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

@ Sharyn and DB: awesome! *golf clap*

As for me, I'm not much of a fungi, so I'll have a slice of bunion please. *urk*

That backward-legged baby doesn't seem so scary now, does he? Okay,he still does. But now, he'll have backward legs and fungi feet as he tap dances in my nightmares.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Eeeww. As a nurse, I've seen worse than this in real life but never thought about eating a replica. I would have to turn down this piece of cake.

Part of the fun here is the comments (some days anyway). Slick, Lulu, real slick. Short but sweet, Sharyn. Bravo, DB, impressive at any time of the day. I'm checking back later in the day just to see if mel or Haiku Joy check in.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterteabunny

Uhhh...are we SURE someone ate it? Is there proof? Or did the party guests just flee screaming into the night? (*I* would have...)

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

DB,

Loved how you adapted your comment from The Raven...

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLolaRennt

So this is totally puke-worthy, but.. it took some talent to get it to look so realistically disgusting! Props to the baker on this one - for his/her talent and for the ability not to puke all over the top of the cake while making it.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErin @ Brownie Bites

My mother's foot looked like this a couple of years ago but she had surgery to fix it. I was horrified when she showed it to me in real life. This is just reliving the horror. Why oh why would someone make a cake like this?

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

I actually know someone who's foot looks like that! He broke his toe when he was eight years old and it never grew after that, so yeah, his foot pretty much looked exactly like that! (Minus the fungus and stuff...)

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

The only thing missing is the stump. The bloody stump where they amputated this sickly foot. (Vomit)

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermiriam

This reminds me of the time a woman asked me to make a placenta shaped cake for use on her postpartum services website. It made me gag to think about it. Ick

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

This is both hysterical, and sad!
Just think....if it weren't for the semi-literate, the completely illierate and the "Failed-free-times-B4-EYE-passed GED'ers" out there.... there would be no Cake Wrecks!

Let's hope they never learn!
We LOVE the website!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBoredCutter

@Sharyn Brava! Yes, I believe in yestertoe.

@Nickol Wow, I didn't think it could be any grosser, but your melty Twix underfoot idea takes it to the 7th level of hellacious!

Glad everyone (except presumably Poe himself, sorry) is enjoying the adaptoe-tion. The image just seemed to call for something dark and horrorstoked. And what better than Poe?

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDB

This they get right. Anything else, you'd stare at it for 1,000 years and not guess what it's even supposed to be. It's like they were working from a photograph or a live... uh oh...gangway!

"Hahaha -- just kidding! The real cake is over here, guys. Guys?"

[chirp]

"Oh well...more for me! Mwahahaha! Now what am I going to do with this thing?... Of course!" (grabs camera)

I can see I'd better step up work on the Selective Visual Memory Eraser. I'll be in the basement of the bunker...

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

My first thought was that someone had stolen the question my son asked when he was going through the "bad word" phase, "What does it mean when you raise your middle toe?", then I looked closer..... Not even funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRosy

Sweet fancy Moses! That's the most disturbing thing I've seen so far...well, except those baby cakes. *shudder*

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRandom Ninja

oh gahhh I was eating breakfast!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

I guess I'm desensitized because my reaction is meh.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKnightmareshade

Toe-tally disgusting. And so large, too--must have been the foot of Paul Bunion.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFM

What in the H E double hockey sticks is up with that funky toe! And the rest of it is just plain gross. Cake should be sacred.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShannah

Can't. Unsee. **HURK**

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTinaMc

What the f(ungus)?!?!?

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

*cringes*

*lips curl up in a snarl meant to keep anything from passing these lips*

*lips lock tightly while corners of mouth pull down*

*finally finds her voice*: Oh! Gross!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentereniko76

*is still fighting the gagging reflex and has that tight-lipped cringe going on*

Ummm... what's on epbot today?

*escapes!*

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentereniko76

@Tricia

Who am I to compete with a full-on Poe parody? I am but a wee haikuist, however adorable.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. I mean, I coooooould make a cake replicating the furball my cat horked up, but should I? Um, NO. See, there are limits, bakers. Jeez.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

Note to self: Podiatry and baking DO NOT MIX. EVER. NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER.... E V E R!!!!!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

[sees cake]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[dies]
THUD
[hits floor]

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterXion

Today is my birthday and I certainly hope that my cake does NOT look like this!!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDaya

At least it's a well-executed 'but WHY????' cake. But WHY???? Why would you WANT that? It's just... EW.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMimiheart

hard to tell if it was a joke cake for a podiatrist or a warning cake for his patients. This is one of the reasons I stick with flats, atheltic shoes, and flip-flops.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkelticat

Oh dear sweet *&^$ *&($$^*^$! <whimper> Why'd I look? WHY?

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBad Influence Speaks

There is an actual name for that condition, but I can't remember what it is off the top of my head.

I'd *love* to hear the backstory on this one!!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternancy

I hope this was for some type of podiatrist. Or a husband who is prone to putting his foot in his mouth and ending up in the doghouse!

I do have to give credit to the very talented cake decorator. (With talent like that, he/she clearly produces Sunday Sweets worthy cakes for more conventional clients!).

I'm not prone to get queasy over a photo, but this was worthy of a solid shudder.

And Sharyn-- to your usual humour. Love the take on "Yesterday". And Lulu, well done with the puns!!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

Second phalange
makes desperate escape attempt.
Brave hallux holds fast.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

HUGE props to DB and Sharyn for their toe-riffic poetry.

Ghastly foot of cake
Craftily executed
Who would dare taste it?

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkrunchifrog

Do toes really grow like that?

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermainegirl5

Nooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dear God this is awful.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPaula Kiger

Ok, my husband has a toe that is above the others like above but we would NEVER order a cake that looked like that. Who orders a foot cake to begin with? Even a podiatrist would not want a foot cake.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRita

I've seen that foot, although the foot I know doesn't have foot fungus. I can even, potentially, see the owner of said foot having a birthday cake make to celebrate it. The recessed toe is skillfully, if mockingly gross, executed. The worst part of this is the horrible looking nails...

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim S.

@Craig: Please hurry up with that Selective Visual Memory Eraser. I need one sent by overnight mail. I don't care how much it costs. (You could get rich from this cake alone.)

@Haiku Joy: You may be a a wee haikuist -- and sometimes a poo haikuist -- but you're also OUR haikuist. So, pretty please?

Need haiku today
So we can feel haiku joy*
Count syllables STAT!

*Note the lower case, making this a play on words and not a proper name -- we're not a bunch of pervs, after all. (Cake-viewing masochists, maybe, but NOT pervs...) Please don't get a restraining order.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

AAAAACCCCCCKKKKKK! for the love of all things good and green...oh wait... that puss green writing is so horrendous. What in the world are people thinking... heres celebrating the birth of you infected stinky fungus encrusted foot with its gross little weird toe? hepl to the bathroom im feeling whoosy!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlori

I didn't even NOTICE the "Happy Birthday" written in Toe Jam-until I read the comments. Happy Birthday???????? That is the worst thing on CW yet!! Blugh!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterangi

What can I say??
I LOVE THIS!
It is so horribly wrong that it is making me rethink my cake designs.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKC

The hell?????

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRainyday

All I can say One Foot Two Foot Red Foot Blue Foot,
I have to try thinking nice childhood lovely foot related thoughts in order to attempt to get this out of my head.
Please someone have a good reason for the ordering of this

Please!

No seriously there must be one, mustn't there?!

(oh and note to self - start obeying the you don't want to look at this indications as given by this site)

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterS Robinson

Podiatrists have the weirdest sense of humor...

When I was working for one, I saw many a foot that looked like this. And truthfully, it's not so much the way they look. It's more the way they smell....

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterVivian

We're getting over the stomach flu here. Thanks for the warning. Ick! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (Add Kermit flail here.)

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRikki

Rather that leaving this up to Chuck and Ralph, who threw up their hands in disbelief and yacked about the subject the rest of the day, I'll heave a deep breath, hurl caution to the wind and say it's a toss-up between festering foot cake and dead baby cake.

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNo capes

Nothing but Poe could capture the true horror of this cake...

And Haiku Joy, you are totally adorable! We love you!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermichelej

Honestly, as gross as it looks, it is very well done. I'd eat it just for the gag factor and looks on your faces!

April 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCakeTek

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