My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Some Bunnies Watching Me

John and I are visiting my parents this week, and each night after they go to bed we work online for a while downstairs. There are only two problems with this:

1) My dad collects old clocks, so we are surrounded by multiple sources of nonstop tic. tic. ticking. Which can be soothing, but when you're facing down a cruel bout of writer's block, it's surprisingly unhelpful. All I hear is, "Aren't. You. Done. Yet. Aren't. You. Done. Yet."

2) One of my parents' two dogs - an old, fat, yippy little thing named Princess - not only appears to be demon possessed, she also sounds and acts it. Meaning at 1:30 in the morning she'll shuffle over to the doorway of the living room where we're working, sit, and stare at us. And because she's mildly asthmatic, she'll be making the most ungodly snuffling gurgly wheezy noises while she's staring at us. Then two or three clocks will all start ominously chiming the hour, and Princess will be staring and wheezing at us there in the shadows, and I'm gamely doing my best to ignore it all and not run screaming for the car when I open the latest batch of submissions and see this:

She's watching you. Aaaalwaaaays waaaaatching.


And this:

I never imagined an egghead with a Tom Selleck 'stache could be so terrifying.


And then this:

"Ooh, I hated the Colonel, with his wee beany eyes!"

[+10 geek points if you can ID that quote.]


Hey, you know what this collection of scary bunny cakes needs?

Scary bunny clowns.

Excellent. Now my nightmares can be extra colorful.


I figured it couldn't get much worse, but just now Princess started gurgle-growling in her sleep (I don't dare look to see if her eyes are open), and I see the Easter Bunny's tiny snaggle-toothed minions have arrived to torment me:

Great. And just when I thought I'd successfully blocked out that scene from Young Sherlock Holmes, too.

"Can't sleep. Cupcakes will force-feed themselves to me."


Tina N., C. H., Katrina S., Kay S., & Amanda A., as a special thanks for today's nightmare fuel, I'd like to share a message from Princess, who just twitched and growled herself awake:

Sweet dreams.

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Reader Comments (98)

I love you guys. It is amazing what you are willing to endure for us.

And I think that the 4 pic is some sort of racist propaganda.

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Just because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes you crave it fortnightly?


April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSmplyUnprdctble

"So I Married An Axe Murderer" quote! Could I love this site more?

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterA.J.

Creepy. Never saw Easter as a rival oh Halloween until now. I think the quote is from "So, I Married an Axe Murderer."

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCharly Cu'Bine

So I Married an Axe Murderer! Love it :)

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

"Oh, you're gonna buy my scary bunny cake! Ohh!"

The thought of you trying to meet a dedline while surrounded by ticking clocks and an asthmatic dog is giving me an anxiety attack. I think you should take this time off to spend with your family and relax. Randomly pick something from the archives and post it. They're all funny, so don't even think about it. Now, go get some KFC and enjoy the rest of the week!

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Harvey's mutant cousins. Terrifying! (What you need now is someone to bring you cold beer and say "poor thing" for a couple of weeks.)

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

"Oooh, I hated the colonel..." Love, love, love So I Married an Axe Murderer. "Head! Pants! Now!"

I can haz geek points now? Do the geek points make the nightmares stop???

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

Oooh oooh, it's from So I Married an Axe Murderer! "If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, c'mon baby let me know.". :D. Thanks made my day!

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNichole

The Colonel quote was from So I Married An Axe Murder. "We have a piper down! Don't worry, he's just pissed."

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKate

So I Married an Axe Murderer


April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTonka

Whoa! I thought you were kidding about Princess -- she actually IS scarier than the cakes!

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

Princess: "You still wake up sometimes, don't you? You wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the cakes."

Jen: "Yes."

Princess: "And you think if you write the blog, you could make them stop, don't you? You think if the blog is funny enough, you won't wake up in the dark ever again to that awful screaming of the cakes."

Jen: "I don't know. I don't know."

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Sooooo glad that I check in in the mornings! I have the day to try to erase the nightmare fuel!!

Thanks Jen.

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEla

Harriet, sweet Harriet!
I can't sleep at night-
too disturbed by the sight
*of* bunnies!

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

Absolutely love the So I Married an Axe Murder reference! Such a quot-able movie. (Ooooh, you're gonna buy my chicken, oooh!)...Though now I have to try NOT to giggle my way through the writing of a much less entertaining blog post about food for work. Thankfully, it has nothing to do with bunnies, snaggle-toothed, mustaschioed, or otherwise.

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKira

Sharyn - You make me happy.

As do you Jen.

So does SIMAAM.

Can't wait to read Haiku Joy's response.

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

Jen: Wonderful!
Sharyn: Wonderful!
Everybody else: Wonderful!
Clearly, this is where all the funny people hang out. :)

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarebabe

I think my eyes have never seen a video clip as creepy as that one.
Truly terrible.
Enjoy the rest of your working vacation.

Also, (with all due respect) were your folks trying to be funny when they gave the name Princess to that..uhhh..."dog?"

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCheri

If only they could
blink. The scariest thing ever
is dry eyeball rot.

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Sorry to be contrary, but I think Princess is really cute. Those cakes, though . . . .

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Aaaaaaahhhhh!!! Rabbits of Doom! DOOM, I tells ya!

Especially #3.

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

It seems the more freaked out you are, the funnier the posts get. Sorry to snicker at your terror about the clocks. Sometimes "Less is more". But the picture of Princess said a thousand words - starting with "why are you still up?"

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Awwwwww, but the demon goggie is so cuuuuuuuute!!!! :| Sorry she is a demon!!! I want to pet her!!

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJ

TWO fantastic references today! I will now spend the rest of the day humming a bunny-terror inducing song by Rockwell. AND 'So I Married an Axe Murderer'!!! I was about to point out the error in the quotation, and then I got the beedy/beany joke. I don't see why you have to pick on these cakes, they look HIP! :-D

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

My daughter actually did a cut from So I Married an Ax Murderer for speech class in high school. I have whole stretches of it memorized.

No proud of that.

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

Hard hearted harbinger of haggis.

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdrumnate

Make sure you don't feed Princess after midnight or get her wet.......

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarolineB

Head! Move!

You've grown up to be a right sexy wee bastard haven't ya!


April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaley

Good-looking spider cakes in pic #5.

What? Well, sure they are; look at those numerous beady eyes, those wiggly pedipalps. Best buttercream representation of arachnidae I've ever seen.

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

I can't believe anyone but me remembers Young Sherlock Holmes. Love that flick.

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMina

They don't look like bunny clowns to me. Not sure if that's good or bad.

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBea

"Jane! Get me off this crazy thing...called love."

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKae

Such an awesome day when SIMAAM is quoted!

Sharyn: brilliant!
Jen: try to get some sleep, dear!
Princess: have you tried steroids for your asthma?

Love this site!

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

One of Mike Myers finest moments! (Before he went t!ts up!)

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRosa

Here's the original freaky bunny eating video/song:

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDrockbox

Oh dear God - I yelped when I scrolled down to Princess's picture! Obviously the sense of humor runs deep in your family.
I'm ashamed to admit I've never seen "So I Married an Axe Murderer", but I will rectify that very soon.

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbmbagain803

Oh my gosh your commentary has me rolling on the floor!! So funny, for us at least, apparently not so much for you. Thanks for sharing your nightmares for our enjoyment! Love your blogs!

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

The Colonel's got a head like Sputnik!

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErica

The Pentaverate! Axe Murder AND Young Sherlock Homes in one blog post? That's why we love you and keep coming back, Jen and John. And the cakes, of course ... my personal standard when cake-decorating for a cake-gone-wrong is now 'is it bad enough to be on Cake Wrecks?' - if not, it's getting served up anyways! Although I wish I had taken a picture of the 3-D teddy whose head fell off (my nephew's 1st birthday cake) - that would have been a winner for sure!

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFoots

LOLOL@Sharyn XD XD I can't...stop...laughing at this XD I also think demon doggie is kind of cute :/

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Bunnies to the left of them... Bunnies to the right of them... And in front, one scary, asthmatic little rat-dog... Lo, tho they would gladly ride into the valley of the shadow of death, they damn well won't go THERE...

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I think the last cupcakes need the Holy hand-cake of Antioch. Remember, thou shalt not eat it at 4 am....

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

You're in mah eyes, your in mah dreams... you are mah eyes, you are mah dreams... you're in my eeeeeyes....

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMai

"Young Sherlock Holmes" is one of the best movies ever. Parts of it still give me the willies. And it has forever shaped my view of Holmes himself. I'm firmly convinced that the new BBC "Sherlock," with the mouth-watering Benedict Cumberbatch, would never have existed if not for YSH.

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

Is it just me or does the beany eyed bunny look like it's laying on a bed of salad?

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercatplumtree

"Look at the size of that boy's heed. I'm not kidding. It's like an orange on a toothpick."

Hoo, boy! I just recently introduced my two boys to that movie. That is one of our favorite lines. Although, there are so many to love.

I think those cakes are repellent in every way. In fact, I think most of those cakes are based on a dare.

I don't think that is a moustache. I think that "rabbit" is in the process of eating a brown, furry guinea pig or something.

Luckily, those bunny clowns are in space. I can't hear them screaming. Either that or my own screaming has drowned them out.

Silly, Jen and John(thoJ)! Just do your work in a salt circle! Uh, while wearing ear plugs?

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Oh man!!! Laugh out loud hilarious! Perfect touch with the dog at the end!

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Princess looks like a Phalene! (any nerd points for ID'ing dog breeds?) You've been watching Supernatural. You should know that if her eyes aren't either entirely black or giving you lens flare that you're safe. She's just - what was it? - old, fat, yippy, and asthmatic. Deep breath in and sigh of relief out.

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMindy

My mother's cat gurgle-meows. AND she chews off her fur, so she's like some horrible baboon-shaped bald Cthulhu cat. She's awful.

April 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCookie McCool

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