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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
May182012

From The Baker Formerly Known As "Prince"

I was working part time in a bakery line
My boss was Mr. Wreckie
He told me several times that he didn't like my signs
'Cuz I spelled too "creatively"

 

Soon he had me lookin' for something else to "destroy"
But different from the day before

That's when I saw it - Oooh, I saw it!
I dropped it right on the tile floor (tile floor).

It was a
Raaaaaspberry purée

The kind you grind and then reheat to pour

Raaaaspberry purée

And if it gets warm it starts to look like gore

Raaaspberry purée

I think I loooove you.

 

Mr. Wreckie
Now, had the nerve to ask me
If I planned to do him any harm

I told him, "Look, man,
I was only bakin'
Surely NO cause for alarm!"

I said now, jelly roll cakes never turned me on
But somehow the purée and bread mixed

Eeee-eEEEE-ee! That was a fright!
But I could tell Wreckie missed me;
Soon I was back to my old tricks:

Thanks to the
Raaaaaspberry purée
The kind you grind and then reheat to pour

Raaaaspberry purée
And if it gets warm it starts to look like gore

(EW!)

Raaaspberry purée
I think I loooove you.

 

Thanks to Diana S., Jillian, Katelyn C., Leigh E., Tara S., Jamie B., Renee, Michelle M., Elizabeth C., and Megan P. for showing us what it sounds like when doves cry.

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Reader Comments (132)

Well, Craig, you may not need a portable version of the Unsee Machine today. You did say the lab is in the bunker basement, right? Looks like we'll be heading there in light of the current level Orange Mashup Epcot (thanks for helping quell that *sarcasm*) and level Yellow French Bread Epcot.

Maybe you should try the Unsee Machine out on Mel (with a capital M) and Sunshine Mary first, just to be safe. *also sporting an evil grin*

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Hee! mel, I see what you did there! Very funny!

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

yup i think i need therapy now.

i love the parody.

i now have a way to make my son's dinosaur cake more "life like"

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBJ

I almost hate to admit this, but I would eat the hell out of that first cake. But I'm a big raspberry fan. ;)

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMolly

WOW. just wow. you rock!

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

@sam - here is a link to Prince's Raspberry Beret
These wreaks do bring back memories of when I worked as a forensic photographer; though I'm not sure if fond is the right word. But I think it would mean more cake for me, if others were turned off by the "blood spatter" cake.
That last one is definitely intestine - y.

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjeliecam

Very poignant, given that I live in Australia and Prince just played in Melbourne this week.

PS. Prince is a vegetarian and a Jehovah's Witness, so it's reassuring to know that the red stuff on the cakes isn't likely to be blood.

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Red Baguette

@Andrea -- LOL. Just give Theardare the Naked-Mohawk-Baby Carrot-Jockey salute, and he'll let you in. Instructions are on the screen. (Had to go back and hyphenate the whole thing, in case some literal-minded soul got the wrong idea about Theardare.)

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Girl you are insanely talented! Who could turn insane cakes into a cool Prince song? Who would even think of it? You rule the internets. :D

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMira8

That last cake looked like red turds. Someone swallowed some red velvet cake dye and took a dump on a cake. Gross....just gross!!

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRita

You have totally "wrecked" Raspberry Beret for me, forever. Thanks. But the Merinuge (think they meant to write "huge meringue pie"?) sign totally makes up for it. Would love a pic of that.

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergabsmom

For all of you too young to remember the song, here's a link to a video. This version has the extra-long intro:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-196646101143773778

After a very stressful day trying to beat Facebook into submission for an ad campaign, I had to come back here and read all the comments. I'm so glad I did! Sharyn and Jen, the two of you should form your own songwriting team. You could be the next Lennon and McCarthy! And the Cake Wrecks in your videos would add that extra touch you need to make you stand out from the crowd.

I'm not the biggest fan of raspberry, either. These would have ruined me for life had it not been for the ACTUAL bakers who created something yummy, edible and, well, attractive.

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Giggle at commentary.
EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! at cakes.
Scroll down.

Shampoo, rinse, repeat. :P


Bravo for the spot-on synch of cakes with Prince, BTW. :)

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteranony mouse

Cake #3 looks like the Glaive from Krull.

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

Best. Post. Yet.

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachul

Note to self: do not visit cake wrecks when stomach is upset.

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTerrie

True disasters... the chest buster was very well done, actually. I saw that particular episode of Star Trek TNG not too long ago. I hadn't thought I had seen it before until the end and then I remember how horrified I was when I was watching the episode for the very first time! You just didn't see stuff like that on 'regular' TV at the time. It was truly shocking! lol

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeanne

I loved today's post. After the first few pictures I realized what it was and I knew I didn't know the song well enough to fully appreciate the words. So I went to youtube looking for it. Prince doesn't want himself singing it on youtube but other folks have covered it. I found one where I could nearly understand the singing and could tolerate the rendition. Then I played it in the background as I read through the whole post. Did the same for my husband tonight. It was perfect. This is one of my favorite. Thank you for brightening every day.

May 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

I will never, ever eat raspberry anything again! Lol man wreckerators sure make diets easy. Just keep posting these and I will run screaming from any and all bakeries. Ok I won't but inside I would. I love cake too much lol.

May 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Thought the monster on the ST uniform was from the episode where they get the little earworms and the guy's head explodes. Bears a resemblance to Alien, though.

May 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPoptart

So many have weighed in on the Alien chestburster mashup, but no one commented on Chocolate Mouse Cake? Reminds me of an old Fawlty Towers sketch. "It's got some rat innit!"

May 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGena

The stream-crossing with TNG/Aliens would have been okay if there'd been three pips, because then it could have been Riker. But with four? Alien Queen needs to keep her drool off of my precious Picard.

Warning: nerd content of this comment may cause disorientation or brain damage to the uninitiated.

May 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

Maybe you could tell it was a chestburster before all that unfortunate jam, but it really looks like an unfortunately colored lamprey more than an infant xenomorph.

I tried to look up the parasites on Star Trek just in case I was missing something, but nothing similar came up.

May 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNot Seeing It

Add me to the list of those who like the Trek/Alien cake. It's gross, but intentionally so, and very nicely executed.

May 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

What's up with the intestines cake?? O.o

May 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMette

the last pic looks like bowels post murdered!!

May 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Just noticing it now, but the Alien/Star Trek looks like it was made with the Pan-Wow! from April 5th, 2012. Oh, and another red shirt bit the dust. ;)

May 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterVansilly414

I couldn't figure out how the song started so I played it, and my wife and I just sang your lyrics over prince in the livingroom cracking up. Love you guys.

May 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAudrey

I know, I'm a week late. But this is hilarious! Love Prince :):)

May 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

The ST /Alien mashup is cool. the first one looks like a blood clot!

June 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterVictoria

Was the last cake supposed to be a colon?

June 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Oh Lordy. That one looks like intestines! And there is one there, I don't know what it's supposed to be, but I hope it doesn't get me pregnant, lol.

June 8, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterskmills

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