My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Bearly There Ninja Bears!


In every bakery there are treats that are so bad, they need protection from the cruel taunts, jabs, and giggles of Cake Wrecks readers.


Lucky for these hapless, hopeless wrecks, a group of mighty protectors have risen stuff.


We call them...

The Barely There® Ninja Bears!



Don't be fooled. Those bear pops may look cute, but make one false move and it's pandamonium.



Many bakeries have already employed this team of highly-dangerous bears to safeguard their most ridiculed desserts.


Consider yourself bamboozled.



With years of ninja training and camouflage mastery, these deadly assassins hide in plain sight.

The "poostronaut bear" is a popular disguise for ruthless killing machines:

"I am a ruthless killing machine."



There is no match for this vicious blood-thirsty beast, cleverly disguising himself as an overly-frosted sheepdog:


Do not underestimate his power to nuzzle you... to death!



 With ninja bear protection, wrecked cakes and cookies can be proudly displayed on the top shelf, with every hope of actually being purchased.


Don't laugh. The first two Adams laughed.


And never forget that they're watching you.
And they're Ninjas.
With no sense of humor.
So don't screw with them, man.



Thanks to Beth L., Jessica T., Elizabeth B., Courtney M., and Stephanie B. for the bear necessities.


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Reader Comments (45)

Those look like my third grade art projects

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Um, Ninja Bears kinda scare me.

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFearless Colon

"The first two Adams laughed." I'm still laughing.

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJMS

Why did I hear David Attinborough in my head whilst reading that?
Can I expect to see this post on animal planet soon?

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPipannie

Picture #4 is Poo Bear, obviously.

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

How cool! Rage comic cake pops!

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusanna K.

Seriously... what the heck are those ninja bears SUPPOSED to be???? They look like weird green kabuki actors to me.....Ninjas...Kabuki... Japan. I suddenly have a craving to eat sushi for lunch. Sayonara

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Those M&Ms (or other brand of candy coated chocolate pieces) are all cracked and sort of exploding.They were ashamed of being on that wreck. Perhaps they laughed at it and suffered the same fate as the first two Adams....

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGirlNamedCorrie

"The first two Adams laughed." Best. Line. Ever.

Sung to "Every Breath You Take"

Every breath you take
To make fun of cake
NInja Bears will make you see your mistake
They'll be watching you.

Every single day
They will make you pay
Can’t watch what you say? Better go away.
Bears are watching you.

You’re just so mean
To the pops in green
It’s a mistake
They will make you quake.

With a bamboo stake
And anger to slake
They’ll grab you and shake. They’ll make your bones break.
They’ll be watching you.

Take one look at the poostraunaut bear’s face
Your goofy grin is about to be erased
The sheepdog bear thinks that you are a disgrace
Like the Adams, you too can be replaced

You’ll keep crying, “Save me! Save me! Please!!!”

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every heart you break, as you laugh at cake
They’ll be watching you.

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Sharyn - best. parody. ever.

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNan

the green ones remind me of Mr Yuck.... remember those stickers?

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkatrina

Sharyn PLEASE do a book of your parodies please please XD XD

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

So... are you saying that these are wrecky bears.. of DOOOOOMMM?

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

I wonder if there will be a cake to the 2nd Jennifer, because I laughed at the 3rd Adam cake!

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

hahaha! I love starting my day with a good laugh that cake wrecks ALWAYSprovides!

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKris


The first two Adams laughed. Best line ever. Agreed.

Sharyn, that was awesome! Today I had to pull up the Police on You Tube and sing along with your lyrics. :) Well done. :)

I would have to second the book of lyrics, too.

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKIm in ID

I dunno... I think the Angry Frogicorns can probably protect themselves... Although it's nice of the Ninja Bears to have their "six" and all...

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Technically Pandas aren't 'bears'- they're Marsupials.

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMooMoo

Sharyn, I would love to experience the way your brain works for a short while. I wish I thought in song. :)

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChelsea

Sharyn...that is a whole lotta awesome right there!

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

Ahhh, number1 and Sharyn. Here's a little ditty just for you: "We're the three best friends that anyonecouldhave. We're the three best friends that anyonecouldhave! We're the three best friends
that anyonecouldhave and we'll never ever ever ever leave each other"

Whooops! My stalker's showing! *blushes*


Look at the bear!

*ducks away while you are distracted*

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Why are all of the M&M's on that cookie cake cracked? It is honestly bothering me more than the misplacement of the "3rd"...

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSJP

First of all - "The first two Adams laughed" is absolutely an instant CW classic.
Secondly, I'm with the poster above who wants a book of Sharyn's parody songs! Please? Pretty pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase?

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLis

"The first two Adam's laughed". Best Line today! And I love your parody Sharyn! Interesting is that the ad on the left hand side for me was one of Smokey the bear pointing his finger at me. Kind of frightened me. The Ninja bears are always watching!

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelita

Ok, as a Ninja-in-training (No, I'm not a black belt yet, ok?!), those Ninja Bears don't look Ninja-y enough! But then, maybe that's the idea...they look like like innocent, innocuous, itty-bitty cake wrecks that are just minding their own business and then...WHAM! :-)

(I think the Day of the Dead Panda Threadcake looked kinda Ninja-y. Very Cool!)

Sharyn, excellent as always! Remember my offer: your songs + my daughter's lovely voice = Gold!!

And a belatedly Happy B-Day to Craig! Please pet Theadare for me (scratch behind that left ear!!) - I don't want to hear Barry's cover of the Piña Colada song ever again! ;-)

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Is the 3rd Adam cookie cake raw? It sure looks like it.

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercecily

Today's wrecks are oso amusing.

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

Simply unBEARable!

I know--but its getting late in the day and someone had to say it.

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

Sharyn~ lovin' this one! Your version is even better then the original!
I agree with everyone else, "The first two Adams laughed" Best. Line. Ever!
Thanks CW for this PSA about Ninja Bears!!!

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Holy scary green faced cake pops! I won't sleep now for at least a night. No wonder little kids don't sleep through the night if that is what is eye level.

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDeidre

Don't blink. Don't ever blink. And don't look away. If you look away, you're dead.


August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLindarella

All the M&Ms on the cookie are cracked because they are secret alien ships. They have obliterated the first two Adams for their laughter. Now they have bowed low to Jen, the queen of one-liners, and Sharyn, the queen of song parodies. They will soon be cloning Jen and Sharyn so they can take these queens back to their home planet and avail themselves of their intelligence and wit.

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

@Andrea: Never ever ever ever ever. (Pinky swear.)

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

reached "the first two Adams laughed" and laughed myself into needing my rescue inhaler. true story, but no guilt trip needed, number1. I'm better now.

@BADKarma "angry frogicorns" was a great line, too!!

@Nyperold I see what you did there (used to live in a town called Los Osos)

August 29, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

MooMoo, You're thinking of koala bears, which are not bears and are marsupial. Pandas are bears and they are mammals. Not the ones on this page, of course.

August 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKay

Lol!! I really hope not to run into any of those ninja bears in a bakery near me because if I do I will laugh and be promptly choked to death by them. Can't stop laughing now as it is just because I want to know what happened to the first two Adams.

August 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I like poostranaut bear. My favorite!

August 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Why do the things in the 1st photo have peas in their nostrils?

August 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSimon

I think the pops are supposed to be frog pops... ? Sounds delightfully yummy... NOT! Awesome song, Sharyn!

August 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGroovy Girl

I think the green bears are supposed to be the green pig things from Angry Birds...

August 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharna

0_o ...wh-what ARE those green things!? Never seen anything like them!

Hee hee, 3rd Adam - chuckled a lot over that one!

August 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNothing But The Tooth

Looks like the poostronaut bear just realized what wearing a space suit really means.

August 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEvalyn

I laughed so hard at 3rd Adam yesterday I just had to come back today and look at it again... The first two Adams laughed... I'm still laughing!!

August 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTammyLee

The Bears

The Bears the bears are everywhere
They lounge about with fuzzy hair
The dance about with gummy stares
They sit about on easy chairs
They look at you with a souless stare
They give you hugs with no fare
They are so very debonair
They are found in a comfy armchair
The Bears they just are every where
The best of all is your own Bear
If you don't agree I guess you are too square

No idea about a melody.

September 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74


And Sharyn... you just... win. So hard.

September 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

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