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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Sep172012

Teaching Tools

John tells me our readership took a hit this past month, and he couldn't figure out what had changed until someone mentioned everyone's back in school now. A-ha! Of course.

So just to show that Cake Wrecks is nothing if not educational, I've whipped up a handy lesson guide for all you teachers out there. Now you can take the night off and catch up on the wreckage! Then tomorrow just fire up the overhead projector, and allow me to educate our future leaders. (No, no, don't cry; I do this because I care.)

 

 An Educational Overview from Cake Wrecks
aka 
Grammar time! (Can't wreck this! Whoah-OH!)

Students, today we're going to look at how your lessons apply in the real world. Pay attention, because the pop quiz starts...now.

 

It's quite common for people to confuse "you're" and "your." Here's a simple way to remember which is witch:

 

 This is wrong:

...because it raises the question, "Your old WHAT?"

 

This is correct:

Although it should be noted that owning an old Kurt in this day and age will never be "right."

 

Here's another proper usage you high schoolers may find more relevant:

 

 Next, this rhyme can really come in handy for your spelling skills:

 "I before E except after C..."

 

 "but not in the words 'Tigers'...

 

"'their'...

 

 "Or 'anniversary!'"

 

Quotation marks are vital for indicating when you're quoting someone verbatim or just being really, really sarcastic:

*Asterisks often denote footnotes, albeit sometimes invisible ones. Invisible footnotes are the work of the Knights Templar, and should be reported to Dan Brown "immediately."

 

A homonym (n) is each of two different words having the same pronunciation but different meanings, spellings, or both.

For example, "here" is where we are now:

 

 While "hear" is what we do with our ears:

Next time we'll also discuss properly distinguishing your cursive "w"s from your "m"s.

 

Luckily, putting the proper endings on number contractions like first, second and third is as easy as 1th, 2th, 3th!

 

 

 

Well, I'm sure this lesson has been super helpful, students, so for your homework I want you all to show your teacher what you've just learned with an informative drawing. Bonus points if you use sprinkles. Or bring cake to class. Or write a sonnet entitled, "Why Jen from Cake Wrecks Deserves an Honorary PhD and also a Working Proton Pack, If Possible."

Now, chop chop!

Oh, and next week: biology!

 

Thanks to Ruth, Shane S., Gal N., Beth N., Brandi H., Amy S., Carla D., Margaret J., Maria R., Sarah R., Christina M., Nicole S., Michele T., & Jess for believing the children are our future. And for teaching them "well" and letting them lead the weigh.

PS - Believe it or not, I actually DO hear from a lot of teachers who use CW in the classroom. Here's a fun example. Now, don't you have a sonnet to write?

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Reader Comments (62)

"Annversie" is clearly a pet name for a 5 year old who likes to rhyme.

Either that or it's a remarkably well preserved cake from Alfred to Anne Sexton, in a playful tribute to her fun-loving poetry (unpublished).

September 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Many of us could benefit from a Happij 5st Ammmusie cake after being married for five years. As a hint. It would allow preordering Congreat's oN You're Divores cakes ... speaking from experience.

September 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergobbler

Second to last cake, lovin the sperm invading colorful eggs!

September 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

And I thought the last cake was: girl + alcoholic shots = baby!

September 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCathy F

I thought the "Germany hear we come" cake said "Germany hear me come"...shows where my mind is...

September 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDebi

Is it Penn State here us roar, or Penn State there us roar? Neither makes sense, of course.

September 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTK

OMG, half of my family went to LSU ("Tiegers") and the other half to Penn State ("Here us roar"). We shouldn't be so proud now, should we?

September 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJess

So CW is used in the classroom, but not in the way I might have thought: "Do your homework and double-check your spelling, or you are likely to wind up being featured on....HERE!" [screams of terror ensue, except amongst those precocious brats little wonders who understand that notoriety is still fame.]

September 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

"I before E except after C"

I think Brian Regan stated this spelling rule in a way that should pretty much end all controversy:

I before E, except after C,
and when sounding like A,
as in Neighbor and Weigh, and
on weekends and holidays and
all throughout May, and you'll always be wrong,
no matter WHAT you say.

http://youtu.be/QWzYaZDK6Is

September 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermaryc

I email with Chinese suppliers a lot at work and while some of them have very good English, they seem to without fail use 'th' in every date.

September 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatey

I'm surprised that anyone should be confused about the use of your and you're.

Your is a possesive version of you. An example of 'your' used correctly is 'it's YOUR birthday' (note also how it's is used there, not its, as it's is a contraction and its is possesive)

With the cake saying 'your old Kurt', this is incorrect use of your. If the cake is being given to Kurt, and we are intending to tell Kurt that he is old, we cannot use your, as you cannot own age, or people, I hope. What we are instead trying to say is you are, or 'you're'.

So if anyone is ever confused over your or you're, just think over what you are trying to say: if you are telling someone that they are something, it's you're; if you're acknowledging their possesion of something, it's your.

September 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPolly

I'm flabbergasted by the 'tiegers' one. It's written on the little banner. How do you spell it wrong when the correct spelling is right in front of you?

October 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSugarslump

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