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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jan152013

Keep It Simple, Stupid

Bride-to-be Coley got engaged in Hershey Park, so for her bridal shower her friends thought it would be fun to have a giant Hershey Kiss cake. Cool idea, right? Especially since, as far as shaped cakes go, a kiss shouldn't be that hard - I mean, it's not like it's a football helmet or anything.

In fact, while looking for a reference just now I found this one by Carrie of Half Baked. It's actually a cupcake, but c'mon: SO CUTE.

 

So just imagine this, only bigger. That's what they wanted for Coley's shower.

Instead, Coley's sister Tammy sent me a picture of what they did get, along with many emphatic assurances that yes, they actually paid for it (though "only" about $60), and yes, it was made by an actual "cake decorator" - though I should note she did put that part in quotes.

The cake was wrapped in tinfoil, a brilliant move on the "decorator's" part if ever I saw one, since that way no one saw the cake's true glory until it came time to serve it at the party.

At which point they unwrapped it to reveal...

 

 

....this:

 

 Um...

 Ok, call me crazy, but is that top reminding anyone else of those creepy weed guys in Ursula's lair?

No? Just me?

Ok then.

 

Thanks to Tammy and Coley for the kiss and tell.

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Reader Comments (111)

If that's fondant draped over....whatever that is, they didn't even mix the color enough. Poor bride.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjen

I was a-weepin' as I was a-scrollin'.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMidge

Um, when I make cakes for childrens birthday parties it's obvious that they are homemade and I could pull off a hershey's kiss cake that looks better than that.This makes me want to try for valentines, just for fun.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

It reminds me of a bankrobber with a pantyhose over his head.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEdith

I think it looks more like the oil monster from Fern Gully.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

The top one looks like a dessert they make at Kneaders Bakery. Theirs is called a Chocolate Dome. I'll pet the layer that looks like frosting is actually chocolate mousse. Yummm!!!!

The wreck.. oh my!! It isn't even the right color!! How hard is it to get the fondant brown?? Also, the seem is really bad! I would have taken the cake back in and demanded my money back!! That is totally awful!!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Wow, that totally looks like the giant colon from the Mutter Museum: http://www.muttermuseumstore.com/merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=MutterMuseumStore&Product_Code=000041&Category_Code=PC

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Creatures. Ursula's lair. Yep. Totally. *shudder*

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterfobofobiac

That is horrendous. hahahaha

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNiki

Looks more like "Pork Butt"

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commentershan

Those poor, unfortunate souls!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHurricane

It looks more like a pile of poo than a Hershey kiss. Looks like I'll have something to talk about with my co-workers.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAllyson

My husband "Is that a placenta? Is it supposed to be a womb?" ......hey maybe it's another birth control cake.....lol

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

I think it looks like a giant turd egg. Just sayin'.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShena

Reason #563 why my response to, "Wouldn't it be cute and creative if we--" is an interjected, shouted, deafening "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

If what is called for is a cake, then bake a cake. When I hear the word "creative," I reach for my pistol.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

Wow. I see a large orange beet. Root tip curled up due to being out of the ground and not in the fridge. Or too long in the fridge... like something you might find in the bottom of your veggie drawer when you finally decide that the produce bags of greeny/brown mushy things that used to be vegetables (but you couldn't say now what they had been) have to go...

Just what I want in a cake! NOT!

Bleargh.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkrunchifrog

OMG! That's TERRIBLE!!!!!!!! lol

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBrett

There was a huge build up for this cake and to be honest I thought I would be disappointed when I actually got to the picture.
I was wrong.
Dead wrong.
But not as dead wrong as that cake!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaoirse

LOL! Thanks Jen, I love you. You bring brightness to my day :)

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCarole M

It's the queen of poo-cakes!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRL

I imagine that's what a turkey looks like while it's still forming in the egg.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDani

I was thinking tumor. Ugly brown cancerous tumor... Blargh!

Oh, and congratulations on that wedding...

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterVivian

@Edith ~ Now I'm imagining a pantyhose faced bank robber singing Poor Unfortunate Souls o.O Pretty spot on tho! Either that or the haggis. Either way, not ok for a cake and definately not a kiss!

@Craig ~ Forgive them. They might be new...

@Sharyn ~ Amazing once again! Feeling any better?

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

It's a Hershey's shart.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterotterwoman

Just had to snicker when I saw this cake. It appears that this butterfingered baker was trying to foil sweet Coley's plan for a blissful engagement. What a dum-dum.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

Cakes should not have umbilical cords. ESPECIALLY if they're not cakes shaped like a baby. And even then.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCarol Anne @ Rock Salt

no sir. no one does this. no sir.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterstacey

I'd like to think that some nameless couple somewhere had, for some inscrutable reason, ordered a tinfoil-wrapped space haggis as their wedding cake, and were baffled when -- due to a clerical error -- a perfectly-sculpted Hershey kiss arrived instead. ("But then where did OUR cake go!?" they demanded.)

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMr Frog

One word "uterus"

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersouth florida jenn

Terrible! My gradeschooler could have done better with a bucket of chocolate CoolWip and a spoon.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commentergobbler

Nice @jackwire! I count 5 in there, no?

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

The most confusing part is the twirly piggy tail on the top. WHAT?!?!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarla T

My husband said it looks like a pig's butt.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Yep, looks like a turkey butt.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnon

It looks like a deformed boob!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArwensRose

I vote we call it a pig butt. Mostly because that's fun to say: pig butt, pig butt, pig butt.

However, I first saw the remnants of shattered souls Ursula had destroyed (just like JEN! woot); then I saw a T-day turkey with ittybitty little arms like a T-Rex.

The comparison cake is not a wreck: I have spoken. It does have a lot of frosting, mousse or ganache inside it but it's beautiful and it serves the purpose of shaping it. Of course, if they were trying to make a pig butt then it's definitely a wreck. :)

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

My five-year-old just said, "Ew, that's disgusting."

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterIsadora

O.M.G.

Excuse me while I go looking for my jaw. I think it ran away screaming after dropping to the floor.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

The week things in Ursula's lair gave me nightmares as a kid, so after seeing that cake, I'd say... Yeah, they kinda have something in common.

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMel M.

It reminds me of the hill that Jack Skellington walks down in the movie. That little curly thing on the top would unwind quite nicely if there was a 6'8" bone thin, man walking on it right now!

January 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterVanessaS

It's an umbilical cord . . . on the wrong end of an animal part!

January 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Well at least I am not the only one seeing a pig's butt for a kiss lol. Or the wreckerator is trying to tell someone something either way..yikes. I would love that cupcake kiss for Valentine's Day though. Yum.

January 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

That is NOT okay. I really hope they got a refund.

January 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Foil wrapped poo? So sorry for the bride to be.

January 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKim

@Nagzilla. I think the top of the other cake (the inside of the kiss) is vanilla (or some other type) of cake. the bottom is chocolate cake. Then covered in chocolate. That's what I'm guessing instead of filled with frosting.

January 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

Speaking as a Scot, I'd just like to make it very clear: that is not a haggis. It may be a fair representation of one of the ingredients for haggis, but haggis itself it is not.

January 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

The wreck is quite a wreck but I sure appreciate the link to the kiss cupcake! I've gotta try those! :)

January 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

Looks like a big pimple with a tag.

January 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Saxon

In order to answer the question of whether it was tasty -
1) it was, for some odd reason Red Velvet (why is that the go-to for creepy flesh colored cakes?)
2) There was soooooo much nasty fondant (I don't care for it much myself) that I couldn't eat it.

Oh well, everyone at least got a good laugh out of it XD (And my wedding cake was awesome and had no resemblance to a pig's butt.)

January 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterColey

A large doggie doodie?

January 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoseParrot

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