My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

What Happens in Vagueness

Reading a wreck can be like deciphering code. Except it's a code where the sender doesn't necessarily know what she's saying, either.

Some are easy:



Others take a little more work:


(Do we need to go over this again?)


And some are downright inscrutable:

That settles it: No more caffeine for Mary.


Now, this clearly says "CoNgrat's Spr 2K9 Noo of the Theta Tall of Kappa Alpha Psi To be Kontrua."

But it's all Greek to me.

(Well, half Greek. All inexplicable, half Greek.)


So in conclusion,

My thoughts exactly.


Thanks to Missie S., Megan B., Tina H., Jessica R., and Jeremy N., for helping us clear that up.

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Reader Comments (94)

I like the Swedish Chef holding a giant baseball while sitting on a throne sailing a ship.

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLindarella

There's a furniture store in the Twin Cities called Hom Oak and Furniture. I think it might be German in origin. Not sure what that has to do with cake, though.

Cake #3 gets funnier the longer I look at it. Maybe it's for a family reunion wherein they're celebrating every possible special occasion so as not to miss out on something and then offend someone. Kind of like Christmakwanzaakuh.

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

If you look carefully, Cake Three says "Happy Birthday Waldo!"

I wonder if Cake Four was supposed to be a Portal Cake. I suspect that frat bros spend a lot of time videogaming.

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjbrecken

I love your idea, Harold.

I also like the golfing ghost.

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLindarella

I looked at the full sized pic of Cake 3 and it looks like the Easter bunny is balancing a chocolate cat(?) on top of its left hand and chocolate butterflies(?) on top of its right?

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLindarella

Funniest. Post. Ever.

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFiddlebabe

I am another reader who is commenting for the first tiime. I have to say that that third cake is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. It's like a Rorschach test, or like one of the "I Spy" children's books. There needs to be a version of Pictureka based just around that cake. Amazing.

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTeal

The flotsam fairy sneezed

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDiddlesgirl

I found a clue to the Greek cake. Theta Tau chapter of Kappa Alpha Psi. Spring 2009 2 B Kontinued.!lineage
I still don't understand it. Maybe they name each semester?

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranother linda

Am I the only one for whom cake #3 looks like a happy version of Picasso's 'Guernica'? And finds it almost as amazing - in a completely different way?

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCarolyn

I personally am going to believe that the 3rd one is Pictureka on a cookie cake. And I must say that I would totally play that game since you get to eat it afterwards so even if you loose, you still win. Awesome idea baker.

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPrincessMom

Go home Cake #3, you're drunk!

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterUbi Dubium

@diddlesgirl - best comment of the day!

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPamela V

I see flying pigs, baby blocks ,too,
A poor old owl with neon poo.
And I think to myself, what a wonderful wreck.

I see shamrock fruit, a Christmas tree,
Bright rocket ships, dark martini.
And I think to myself, what a wonderful wreck.

The colors of the rainbow, that bunnies staring eye
Are also on the frog and ghost and dolphin swimming by.
I see jail cell door (locked) I’m not sure why
This sure would look great if I were high

I wish fun in the sun for the baker, whoa, whoa (sorry)
How much I love this, she’ll never know.
And I think to myself, what a wonderful wreck.


February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

loved the cake that was labeled cake - short and sweet.

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjane lewis

@K8E with Harlem Shake comment:

Congrats. You win the internet today. :D

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

I thought the "pegicorn" was a flying bucking bull,but I am from Texas..

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterpeg

The golf playing ghost is the first thing I noticed. And I agree with K8E. It's most definitely the last 20 seconds of the Harlem shake. There is no other explanation.

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFsurica

@ Diddlesgirl LOL!

@ Lindarella - I thought that was George Washington (covered in snow - it was cold, doncha know?) crossing the Delaware!

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDB

Cake 3 made me bust out laughing this morning. It is so completely awesome! This is what someone's brain looks like after they've taken 48 doses of No Doz so they can study for finals, and then they had a Red Bull chaser after the test was over.

Tina, thanks for including the link to the full-size photo. I had so much fun going every detail! I am still trying to figure out the little candy corn people just to the left of the cross and below the mortar board.

And who dreamed I'd ever write a phrase like that about a CAKE?

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Even if the third cake is a sampler, it is a HORRIBLE sampler. They're supposed to do nice cakes and show customers photos of their handiwork -- or show photos of each piece of flotsam that customers can select. I'd be worried about ordering a cake from a bakery that did this sampler!

I cannot guess what "Hom?" and the "Greek" cake are trying to say...

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjune7

One Fatty Platter to go, please.

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I think I got #4 translated:

Congrats SPR 2K9 (meaning congrats spring 2009)
of the Theta Tau neos (newbies to the Theta Tau chapter)
of Kappa Alpha Psi (of this frat)
To be kontinued (Kappas find great joy in spelling words with 'K' that are not actually spelled with 'K')

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJQ

I can think of four people, just off the top of my head, that I want to buy "Fatty Platter" for. And also at least two cats.

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSheri

Ok, from top left - full moon w/ flying witch on broom, funky owl w/blue wings, BABY in blocks, grad hat underneath, sick pink unicorn/flying bull, fugly reverse candy cane, NASA after budget cuts, which is falling into a fatal orbit around the sun. (aka death spiral) Now, going under the sun & back toward the left, 3 balloons (lime green, navy blue, & neon orange), a large baseball, giant Pilsbury Dough Boy in a chocolate motor boat / sailboat combo with anchor overboard, a white cross, 2 happy candy corn (sm & lg), the Santa penguin with hat & green scarf with red polka dots (must be Private), the 3 fireworks (orange, white & lime green), Uncle Sam's hat, a big scary ghost with his golf bag filled with clubs and a golf ball below it. Going left to right underneath that, a big Christmas tree (fully trimmed), a rainbow with a blue diamond ring (the Hope diamond?) just above the fabled pot of gold (with handle, no less!) at the end of the rainbow. Now, between the ends of the rainbow are a big pumpkin with a very small chocolate cat atop it and a 3-leaf clover in front of it (why not a lucky 4?), An absolutely *huge* pink rabbit with a red bow tie & blue spot on the tie knot. Two chocolate butterflies to the right (yellow/green & blue/red. In the rainbow above them is a pair of white footprints, and above & next to it is a palm tree. At the bunny's feet (or over them, rather), are two Easter eggs (1st - blue w/green spots, 2nd - yellow with pink flowers in middle, orange vertical stripes on bottom, and green stripes on top). Next is a present wrapped in lime green with a bow of blue ribbon with white polka dots, a soccer ball with a spot of grass above it, a #1 Dad white ribbon with blue trim on the other end of the rainbow & below it a white frog with green polka dots @ the base of the rainbow, a red & white flower next to it and 3 blue flowers (daisies?) above w/ pink centers & green stems below. Above & to the right is the white sea with blue waves, 3 green fish and a mutated white dolphin (maybe an albino Amazon dolphin - looks like it, but they're fresh water!) Next to that & below, a large chocolate martini with 3 olives. Backing up to the left, a long green caterpillar with 9 segments plus a chocolate head & red eyes. Going forward, at the martini's base is an "I <3 You" heart with a droopy-headed arrow through it. Next to it is a full beer glass with a full head of foam & spilling a little @ the base. Directly above is a football with a grape cluster to the right. Above the football is a mutant pair of white point ballet slippers with pink trim (Miss Piggy's perhaps?!) And, finally, to the right of the ballet slippers is a brown Hershey's kiss shape, but I really wouldn't swear to it being a kiss...

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Please tell me I wasn't the only one more worried about the Greek cake than the fiesta frenzy. The best I can decipher is:

Congrats spring 2009 (Nupes?) of the Theta Tau [chapter of] Kappa Alpha Psi to be (continued?)

I've either been in college too long or I really am OCD, or both.

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTrixie

I, too, love cake #3... hidden object game, for the win! Anyone else see the caterpillar? (To the left of the ILY heart, more noticeable if you follow Tina's link). I personally think this cake was passed around the bakery for each person to add what they wanted :)

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermistiqueallie

I don't know about you but that third cake looks like something out of a Where's Waldo book. Only Waldo is missing....

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEllen Q

Grover Cleveland, is that you?

I think the Greek cake was actually an answer in an exam I just graded. Uncanny the resemblance!

February 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Ok, I missed something, somewhere. What is the robot monkey reference?

A very good & very busy day doing ministry with my Pastor. It doesn't get much better than that. This is the first opportunity I've had to check in, and what do I find???

#1 A nice little shout out to fans of things generic, and the balloons even look like balloons.

#2 I'm trying to deal with the aggressively PINK paint job while simultaneously trying to decode the message, and not getting anywhere with either.

#3 What happens when you order online and drag the mouse over the checkboxes as you hold down left click, thus selecting everything. The really funny thing: this cake isn't actually frosted, apart from all the symbols.

#4 I think the last line was supposed to be, "to be continued..." as in, "to be continued on another cake," probably cake #3.

#5 Oh, the merriment that ensues when bakery internal jargon finds its way into the real world. I'm sure the customer was tickled, too.

February 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Wow. That fun in the sun cake must cause a sugar rush if someone tried to eat it. Love how all the holidays plus ones I haven't thought of are on that. Whoever decided to do this must have had tons of time on their hands. As for that cake with candles on it maybe it says horny? Lol.

February 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I think it's a squirrel on the bunny's right paw. And there's a caterpillar, too. And the "jail" is actually a mug of beer moonlighting... and the pumpkin with the shamrock on it next to the pot o'gold...
A mesmerizing condensation of symbols.

February 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEnione

Spr 2K9. = Spring 2009???

February 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSrager

It's a Happy Everything cake! I so want that!

February 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEileen

Cake #3 clearly says "I get paid per design". ;)

February 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAntigone

@KarateLady How bored were you? O_o

February 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNight Owl

OMG! The 'FUN IN THE SUN' cake is art, pure and simple ... PLEASE publish where it came from and whether they ship next-day freight!

February 21, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterreubix

@Night Owl - stressed out & wanted something mindless but easy & fun to do... ;-)

February 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

@Craig - 2 days ago, (see post 2/19/2013), Barbara Anne said she *used* to have a robot monkey...

February 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Does the ghost have a bag of golf clubs? Golfing Ghosts Day?

February 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Cake #3: Somewhere, in the back of my mind's eye, I see a Wreckerator raising a tube of icing in the air and screaming, "DECORATE ALL THE THINGS"

Cake #4: *squints* Hmm. Fetch me my secret decoder ring!

February 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCelidah

I miss all the good stuff :-(
@Craig's multiple oversized wrestler comments. (p.s. Glad your training is still going well. I'm proud of you!)
A wedding proposal!!! Congratulations Zach and Savannah!
@Haiku Joy offering to be my teacher :)
@KarateLady losing her mind (c'mon honey, we'll get you to the spa STAT!)
@Sharyn and all of her amazingness
@mel trying to get me killed again ;-)
@Jen and john, you guys are just awesome.
I've missed you guys and I totally wish I were here playing in the bunker rather than at the hospital with my daughter :-(

February 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Yay, Haiku Joy!! Thank you for that :D (Craig, Jen mentioned a robot monkey in a previous post and I'd grumbled that I used to have one)

Thanks to Tina for the link to the close up- I couldn't get it that big and now I can say I spied
The Pillsbury Dough-boy recreating Washington Crossing the Delaware while Flipper swims by with a baseball balloon.

All it's missing are the Enterprise, Millenium Falcon and the T.A.R.D.I.S.

I also want to know about the Hom/Ham cake.
What the fern?

February 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

@Haiku Joy - and now, thanks to The Daughter's English assignment, I now know what the heck you were referring to with that President Cleveland line... :-)

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarate Lady

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