My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Colorful Metaphors

Hello, and welcome to your virtual color therapy session! As you know, it's national color therapy month, so the results we get here today will be invaluable to researchers everywhere who need a good laugh.


Remember, this IS for posterity, so please, be honest.

How do these colors make you feel?


[scribbling on clipboard] Mmmhmmm, I see. And these?


I'm sorry, it's hard to transcribe those sounds exactly. Could you be more specific? And with less profanity? Thank you.


These next ones should inspire feelings of peace and tranquility. Take a look:

 On a scale of one to ten, how much less violent do you feel towards me now?


Does this next example generate the same kind of elation you normally experience while cleaning your ears with an extra long Q-tip?


Why, or why not?


And would you say that this next example makes you more or less likely to donate a vital organ to a total stranger?



Now, I want you to stare at this next one while imagining your least favorite food:

Are you thinking of the food you hate most? Good. Now ... are you going to eat all of those chips? Because I forgot my wallet at home, and ... you know what, we can talk about this later.


And finally, lets try a little behavioral role play. I'm your executioner, and I have two types of rope to make a noose. Which of these options makes you feel happier?



Well, that's everything, so thank you for providing some truly startling results, test subject!

As a reward for successfully completing your therapy session, you get a cake with a beautiful, cheery rainbow. Enjoy.


Just kidding. The cake is, of course, a lie.

(And they said a color-blind baker could never do this job. HA.)


Thanks to Jaemi S., Sam L., Samantha, Katie M., Amanda B., Nicole, John L., & Katherine M. Now, go get some rest. After all, if you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.

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Reader Comments (84)

Cake wrecks is one of the best parts of my day...despite the fact that it is so disheartening. ;D haha It makes me feel...happy...ironically happy. ;D

Also, yeah, Sharyn, what gives!?!?! :D hahaha jk jk jk

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

out of all this awfulness, my favorite part is the last one, how they actually used a leaf tip for the green part. Maybe they were making another cake that actually had beautiful flowers on it and they didn't have a coupler?

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

thank you ... this was the perfect eye searing trainign I needed to contend with interviewees outfits today!!!

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Count Rugen in a lab coat!

I could've sworn he was completely, not mostly, dead by now...

#1 At first, I thought this was one of those 'reverse' deals where you stare at a picture for as long as you can stand, then look away and see an afterimage in the correct colors. Nope -- all I experienced when I looked away from this was relief.

#2 Very abstract. I believe this one is called, 'Instant Refund', from the artist's "puke period".

#3 If this one were formed into a ring shape and deep-fried, it could easily be mistaken for...something that has nothing whatever to do with the fine traditions of Mardi Gras. (whew)

#4 There's a fungus among us. Please tell me this isn't some new trend in gross-out cuisine.

#5 More likely. Which organ? My eyes. I'm sending them away as punishment for allowing me to see this.

#6 The food I hate most is blue cake (probably as a result of seeing "2001: A Space Odyssey" as a small boy), so this was spot on. Was this the tragic result of combining fondant and incompletely mixed food coloring, or is that an actual painter's dropcloth.

#7 The option that makes me happiest is the prospect of a worldwide ban on CCCs.

#8 The artist has captured perfectly the very essence of the idea, "I don't care." It fairly shouts indifference, rejecting boldly all thought of taste; any concern whatever for the sensitivities of the onlooker. In other words, it would not be out of place in a museum of modern art. That said, it's chocolate -- I would eat it with the lights turned off.

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

The top of cake #2 looks like a wallpaper I chose for my powder room, but they stopped making it by the time I had the money saved up to have it papered. :-(

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

I actually worked with a colorblind (fully - she saw in greyscale) cake decorator. Mostly we had to make sure that the colored frosting bins were labeled correctly and that the right lid went on the right bin, and sometimes she had a color-sighted person double check to see if a pale batch of frosting was visibly colored or not.

No one had bothered to teach her color theory before, so we put together a color wheel with our dyes marked on it so she could figure out what to blend to get what.

The biggest challenge was color-matching Eeyore in frosting. He's kind of a purple-blue-grey.

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterazurelunatic

Help! I can't get the look of disgust off my face. It is masking the giggles from the Princess Bride references. Maybe these cakes are from the Pit of Despair Bakery?

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterApril in ME

Oh, Aleph One, you have just stepped in it. Long-time readers of Cake Wrecks know *all* about Mardi Gras colors. Just look up King Cake in the search box.

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKay

On the rainbow cake, I like how the decorator didn't even bother to change out the leaf tip for the green frosting. And it's amazing how accurately cake #2's frosting manages to imitate cellophane.

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSammay

Mardi Gras? What kind of grass is that?

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Who left masterpieces
under the produce mister?
Lettuce, mourn for art.

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I wouild love to have a tie-dye t-shirt in the colors of that blue and purple cake.

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterVicky K

#1: I'm not saying I'd like to have them at my summer home, but the flowers are actually quite lovely, if burnt.

#3: *twitch* I have an involuntary urge to run screaming to the bunker.

#5: *whispering* I think it's angry...

#6: I started typing a comment with "...flora and fauna..." in it and then got distracted by recollections of the conjoined twins from The Addams Family: "I'M Flora, SHE'S Fauna!". That is all.

#7: I am going to start taking pictures of people who buy CCCs (patooie!), and post them on the internet. Maybe some public shaming will stop this horrible, terrible, no-good trend. I'll have one of these little snake-things as a mascot, a single tear falling down it's cheek. Then, I'll make T-shirts. One that says "Hella Don't" underneath the mascot (you know, for all the hip kids) and one that says "Only YOU can prevent CCCs (patooie!)" under the mascot (for all the old, er, retro people).

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I actually wouldn't mind the second cake (looks very modern art-ish) if it weren't for, you know, the roses and frilly pink stuff.

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChug

I should not have looked at that just after dinner. I think I'm going to be sick. In what world would any of these be considered appealing?

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJudy Teeter

YES there is cake! And I will never abandon my Companion Cube! NEVER!!!! :D

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterG-Baby

I'm loving the leaf tip, clearly the decorators moment at expressing their true inner 'artiste!"

March 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

I would like to think Aleph One knows full well into what he has stepped. :-D

March 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Just looking at these makes me wonder about my new glasses lol. I think I should have kept the old ones that way those horrid monstrosities would have been blurred. Yikes. Especially the purple rash looking one.. oh wreckerators you keep trying to make me give up cake..I refuse lol.

March 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I'm abandoning the "in WA"... we'll see how it goes.
Craig, that was really close. I'm gonna go hide behind Gossamer. He'll keep me safe, right?
Andrea I want a T-shirt! Maybe I should get both since I totally fit in the second category but like to think that I can hang with the cool kids.
Sharyn, glad it's not a permanent change! You seriously do that in 30 minutes???

March 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

*dies laughing*

March 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDolly Madison

Nice try, @Haiku Joy. I suspect the purveyors of that particular Epcot either learned their lesson from Jen's epic riposte, "Deep-Fried Thoughts" or else they are lurking in cyberspace, waiting...

@Vicky K, I thought that cake *was* a shirt, if truth be told. Or a smock. Perhaps the cake it covered was actually quite nice. Or not.

@Andrea, excellent idea on the CCCs. I propose a special unit of DOC, to be named the CupCake Cake Police, or CCCP. Education is key -- if that doesn't work, there is always coercion.

March 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Fondant baby report: Mold arrived. I accidentally scarred it immediately with a sharp knife. Boops. Made 5 practice babies, and then churned out 15 "real" babies. They are now on a plate in a cupboard, drying out. I want them to be good and solid when I take them for their newborn shoot.

So basically I stayed up way late last night, making babies. Probably will be a week or longer before I have more to report.

March 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I think you folks are missing the point. These cakes are obviously examples of modern art. They reflect the emotions and deep mental anguish (and perhaps some bad sushi) that all wreckarators feel at one time or another. Speaking as a cake decorator and artist I can attest that the inspiration for these cakes probably came from squeezing out decorating bags of icing into a trash can and noticing the combinations as they slid down the side of a grey trash bag. Really. I have seen that exact same thing myself, though I can honestly say I never wanted to see it on a cake, BUT who knows? One mans art is another mans impetus to vomit.... just saying.

March 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjenjen

Does one volunteer for the CCCP? Sign me up!

March 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEla

I think the 5th one was decorated by a wreckerator with 6 fingers on one hand.

@Andrea oh, lady, I love the idea of an anti CCC website. And, Craig, I saw what you did there. "CCCP" indeed.

@Jodee we'll still know it's you. ;)

@Sharyn it takes me 3 months to try to do a song parody. Worse is when I try a haiku...

@Haiku Joy does Mr. Haiku know you're telling people you stayed up all night "making babies?" (nudge, nudge, say no more)

March 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

I apologize - I had written a rather eloquent reply but it accidently got erased when I passed out and my head hit the keyboard!

March 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEggplant chef

@Jodee: I'll start designing shirts immediately.

@Craig: Perhaps we should add a CCCP uniform shirt to the store, too.

@Haiku Joy: Congratulations on your quintuplets. The news that you were up late making babies makes me deliriously happy! Thanks for the update.

March 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

@Haiku Joy ~ I'm with Andrea, your update makes me deliriously happy :-) What makes me even happier is the fact that some people here will have absolutely no clue what you're talking about o.O Bhahahahaha <gasp>

March 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

1. blech!

2. the nest to the last picture reminds me of the intestines of something.

March 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

@Craig - I'm up for the Coercion Dept! Oh, wait - martial artists are only supposed to use their skills for self-defense & defense of peace...I'll be a NINJA LADY!!! :-) Hmm...doesn't have quite the same ring to it, does it? Hmmm...Maybe a Samurai? Lady Samurai? Lady Butterfly? MADAME BUTTERFLY!!! Nope - that was a guy! Dangit...

PS I know I'm *really* old now - I had to explain the *Cold War* and the *Soviets* to my daughter while watching reruns of PanAm... (She was pleased, however, to find out that she was born on the 10th anniversary of the *end* of the Cold War when people danced on the Berlin Wall.) CCCP indeed! :-)

March 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

The Princess Bride!! I knew that sounded familiar! Thanks for the funny post!

March 27, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaurel

Kinda billious.

April 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Saxon

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