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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Clean-Up On Aisle 12

Note to Parents: Today's wreck may expand your child's vocabulary in some unsavory ways.


When Steve S.'s coworker received a transfer to a different branch, the store decided to get the coworker a going-away cake. The inscription was your typical "You make our store better!" kind of thing.

Now, normally this wouldn't be a problem, no matter how badly the Wreckerator mangles the inscription.

But then, normally the company in question is NOT BJ's Wholesale Club.

Which, naturally, someone chose to abbreviate:

Lunch time just got awkward.

I'd like to point out that Steve submitted this Wreck because "better" looks like "bitter," and he thought that was funnily appropriate. And it is, but clearly Steve's mind did not make the leap the rest of ours did. (Like I always say: Get your mind out of the gutter! There's barely room in here for mine.)

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Reader Comments (59)

I think I've seen this before, but it's still funny :D

[Editor's note- You have! It's actually from 2 years ago but it's so awesome, we thought we'd post it again. Also, after yesterday, we needed a day off. More new wrecks tomorrow. -john]

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Why aisle twelve in particular?

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

So, the only song I can come up with is:

"One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do."

Also, I'm suddenly a little discontent with my Costco membership...

(Jen and John, thanks for the funnies every day, even though sometimes it means you have to deal with the most foul, cruel and bad-tempered rodents you'll ever lay eyes on -- and I'm NOT talking about rabbits. We all know they're lagomorphs...)

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Grammar can fix this!
One Club, one singular verb.
BJ's is better!

Is that too hopeful?

In other news, does anyone know how to make an Asian baby? I have most of the other genotypes pretty well covered here. Also, should I be worried about my babies catching mold? Rainy days are great for meditatively making a few, but I'm worried I shouldn't be leaving all these babies completely naked.

Gazing at my litter in various stages of moisture-depletion, I'm a little amazed. It doesn't take long to actually make the baby, but they take their sweet time getting ready for their debut, don't they?

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Today's cake reminds me of the VERY short lived t-shirts that the stock boys had to wear at our local. BJs. It said "We love BJs!" Brilliant XD

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

… uh, okay. Maybe it's a regional expression thing, but I have no idea what "BJ" s are.
Butt Jokes?
Bad Jeans?
Bald Johns (no offense)
Battered Junebugs?
Beastial Jocularities?
Bipolar Jaguarundis?

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

So predictable

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranne

The best response to this cake is a simple "thank you."
So, thank you.

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Haiku Joy, when two Asian people love eachother very, very much, they go to BJ's, then...

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I'm imagining the baker giggling as they were writing this message, and then they have to walk into the cooler and break out into hysterical laughter after they deliver the cake.

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

Okay Shirley, I'm taking pity on you since no one has explained. BJs = Blow Jobs. See, now the cake is hysterical, whether the word is bitter or better!

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDraft Girl

Doesn't BJ's have its own bakery? So, in theory, this would have been made by the very store where it was unveiled. The meta-wreckiness is simply astOUNding!

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

I think we should get Steve and Shirley together. Oh yes.

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

@SuBee...I didn't know Asian babies come from BJ's.... Here we use Sam's Club....

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

@mindy1: Yes, you have, and so have I. With the same caption. I don't mind repeats, but I'd prefer that they be marked as such.

[Editor's note- Hi Steve, we actually have it tagged as Wrecky Replay but I know that's not immediately apparent. Honestly, we haven't done a repeat in like 10 months so I figured most people wouldn't care. Anyway, have a fantastic day. john]

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

OMG... Everything & everyone here today is toooo funny!! :-) And no, don't try getting Steve & Shirley together *again*. It was his 4th & her 3rd, and that alone should tell you what a bad idea it was in the first place...(No, really! We had a Steve friend whom married a Shirley and...yeah. <sigh> They are nice people, too. Shame it didn't work out. Thankfully, hubby & I have had better luck with our marriage.

@ Haiku Joy - You just HAD to ask, didn't you?! ;-) < SNORT!>

And sorry I missed yesterday's fun! Your post made perfect sense to me. Heaven must have been empty what with all those self-proclaimed saints running loose who never did anything wrong, never hurt anything bigger than a germ (even by accident), never committed a sin even though they're not Jesus... Geesh, some people... (I'm *so* not bitter about a drunken, party-hearty, church-going, Catholic 'friend' who tongue-lashed me for taking the Lord's name in vain once... ;-)

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Thank you for enlightening my naivety. (I know what they are, but didn't know they had an acronym. )

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

Sadly I missed the mess that was yesterday. O.o (for the record, I LOVED the post!)

As for poor Steve, I almost got the keyboard again. But @SuBee and @mel's comments just about killed me. All I can picture is the scene in The Cat in the Hat (the Mike Myers version) where he explains where he came from. O.O
@Haiku Joy I love that you are posting these updates on your baby making process. (I think it was @Andrea the other day that almost killed me with her "I less then 3 you" comment Bhahahahaha!) But I can't help but wonder what some people think when they read them. And THAT makes me giggle like a little kid!

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

@ Haiku Joy - oh, and you mean 'phenotype' (as in physical appearance). You could have a bunch of genotypes (fondant color combinations, in your case) that result in similar phenotypes... :-) and since humidity is bad for fondant, perhaps you should tuck your *fondant* babes into a ziplock or swath them with plastic wrap... (Notice I said FONDANT lest any self-righteous, self-made, self-serving, saintly-surfers are sagely monitoring Cake Wrecks for the sake of humanity & think I advocate baby-smothering rather than the preservation of fondant babies for the enjoyment of Wreckporters everywhere...

PS Be sure to make some babes with a gluten-free genotype for me, k? ;-)

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

I'm not sure exactly what happened yesterday either, but count me as someone that also loved your post. Didn't even realize this one was a repost- hilarious!

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPeachkins

In Beijing they sell I *heart* Beijing t-shirts, in a similar vein to I *heart* New York ones. So it comes out this:

When I first saw one I laughed so much. Now I own a couple.

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Yet another day I am SO glad I read this before I started eating lunch so I don't have to clean up my computer screen.

I don't care if it's a repeat -- there's no way I could remember what you posted 10 months ago.

I think the Wreckerators did this on purpose just to harass their colleague. And giggled the whole time they did it.

SuBee, you are just too funny for words. Draft Girl, thank you for being brave enough to explain.

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

@Shirley and anyone else who may come across an unfamiliar and vulgar term, Urban Dictionary is always good resource! I have had to use them once or twice for this site myself!

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

It may be old, but it's apropos now that Ken "Only in the" Cuccinelli is running for governor in Virginia.

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTB Tabby

That adds a whole new meaning to "company outting"

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDaaave

Man, I'm always traveling when the good comment debacles happen! Not sure what the blow, er, up was last time but count me as a faithful follower who has never been offended by anything you've posted.
And I'm surprised there aren't more repeats--it's amazing what you guys are able to put together day after day!

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

All I have to say is . . . snort laugh. I totally snort laughed.

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterblissteach

@KarateLady~ I less then 3 you too!

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Here, BJ's is a restaurant chain. That's probably sufficient for me to click 'create post', but I'll continue. There are a couple of these restaurants in the local area, such that they might be considered as a possible venue for after-church lunch. This was suggested one Sunday recently, followed by the awkward silence to end all awkward silences. Not that we're a bunch of prudes -- we're not -- but just that everyone (well, nearly everyone) knows the other meaning, and er, well, you know. Then of course, a young lady had to ask very innocently what the name stood for (and why some of us were blushing), and the guys in the group (including me) were wishing fervently for the Rapture to occur at that exact moment.

Since Cake Wrecks is now the repository of all knowledge, and is the one place on the entire Internet to which people look for advice on topics ranging from the taxonomy of flowers to pet care, I have a question: When is Cake Wrecks OS going to be released for computers and smartphones?

There has been a dearth of Epcots this year, such that things may have become a tad...backed up, so to speak. Hopefully, regularity has been restored.

Particularly in view of the fact that this isn't a subscription blog (if there is such a thing), Jen and John can repeat, paraphrase, duplicate, fold, spindle or mutilate their content in any way they see fit, and that is beyond fine with me. I just hope yesterday's debacle doesn't trigger new thoughts of...that happening.

Enjoy your day, Jen & John. Theardare is on high alert, and leave has been canceled for DOC personnel for the duration of the crisis. In other words, we got your back.

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire! What on Earth happened yesterday? And why did no one call me to let me know so I could come over and rubber neck the catastrophe from the safety of the bunker?!

@Haiku Joy: I was thinking the same thing. On the grammar, not on how to make Asian babies (don't they cover that in biology?) or how to store them so they don't catch mold. THAT thought had never before crossed my mind. ; - )

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Oh, now I'm sad I missed yesterday. It must have been a doosey to get comments turned off. Sorry you were bothered by the unenlightened who just don't understand your humor or what ever that might have upset someone.

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Completely Off Topic:

Anyone else have Epbot DIY as your header ad? How cool is that!! :D

Back On Topic:

I'm totally cool with Wrecky Replays. After yesterday's post, and knowing there was vitriol that we did not see, take as much time off as you need!

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

@Mel, I don't think they really do, but enthusiasm does help.

I salute this effort from a noteworthy baker cum decorator.

As for the photo of the cake, I'm sure that's frosting.

Totally. Totally frosting.

As far as you know.

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

What happened yesterday??? Were people mad that Jen gave away a bunny? Did they lambast her pet potty training skills? Did they not like her joking about bunnycide? (It's a serious matter folks. Literally LOTS of bunnies die every year from having frosting carrots shoved through their dumb little brains.)

Having no actual knowledge of the controversy, I can confidently assert that they were wrong and you, Jen, were (and are and always will be, amen) right.

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

You deserve a break once in a while, whether or not the comments blow up.

That said, sorry it went south yesterday. Put me down in the "I thought it was funny" column.

Today's posts is one of those that's worth repeating: simple, and still funny. If you put "Wrecky Replay" in the title as well as the tags, maybe one or two more people will notice. :)

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

*scurrying off to read yesterday's comments, since I loved the post and missed all the hoopla*

And Haiku Joy, is the process different for Asian babies? I learn so much on this blog. :)

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermichelej

I remember this one, too. Does it make me REALLY nerdy that I'm MUCH more up in arms about the bad grammar than about the adult connotations? The voice inside my head is screaming "IS! IIIIIIIIIIS!" Since the guy is leaving for another store, it would be funny if it was "BJ's is bitter with you" - because a lame cake would passive-aggressively say that, after all.

As for the rabbit poo post - THAT started a comment war? WHAT?!? And I MISSED it? I want to say that it had to be epic, but since comments have been turned off, it must have been more like "epically insulting". :P "Ain't nobody got time for that!"

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLittleJenniPooPoo

And they say romance is dead...

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDPL

Jen, John (tHoJ), and all: you rock. You are hilarious, intelligent, caring people. Your posts are something I look forward to every day. Your witty, creative spin on everyday looniness is therapeutic stress relief for many of us. Repeats like today's still make me laugh out loud. Don't listen to the ugliness of random internet strangers. Keep being your awesome selves.

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAron

Wait a minute, wait a minute. First Epbot insinuated there is an exterior to my house. Now you're telling me there are other places on the internet besides Yates-sites?

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

We have a rabbit, whom we adore, and we LOVED yesterday's post.

Thanks for the smiles every day, Jen and John.

Take days off whenever you want or need to.

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKW

Shouldn't it be aisle 69?

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

The best part of the day is the time I get to see the hilarious posts from Cakewrecks! Keep up the fun and don't worry about haters xoxo

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKathie

@Karen: Perhaps aisle 34 and a half? Because...*blush*...reasons.

@Haiku Joy: Yes, but the only ones that matter are the ones the Yates-sites link to in their blogs. Which, usually(not really), are their own Yates-sites, as it should be.

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

@ Karen - you win the intraweb! :-)

@Craig - "Karate Lady ready & reporting for duty, Sir!!"
<She stands at attention wearing her best black ninja gi, brown belt with 3 white stripes (lowest brown belt ranking, but it still beats a purple belt & I earned it :-), a Cake Wrecks bandanna as a headband, & armed to the teeth with throwing stars, a pair of nunchunks, and her bo staff.>

"...and maybe some feathers to tickle offenders to de...Oh, ok, killin', I promise." <scratch, scratch, scratch...>
"Yeah, Jen wouldn't like it, I agree. I'll just hog tie 'em or knock 'em out with the nunchuks & take 'em to Room 101 for you to deal with, ok? OK." <She starts to walk off...>

"Hey, Theardare, wait a minute!" <She runs back & gives him some of her best scratching behind his left ear, plus some catnip she's pulled out of a hidden pocket in her gi...>

"Look, if this drunken, party-hearty, self-righteous, 40ish woman I know shows up & disses Jen, can I watch you... Oh, thank you, Theardare, thank you!" <She runs outside the Bunker & takes up a concealed, ninja-y position somewhere nearby...>

@Jen & John(thoJ) - like Craig said, we *totally* got your back.

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarate Lady

The process is different for Asian babies in that there is not an automatic "Asian" skin tone in my fondant diversity Easy Pak O'Skin Tones.

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

@Craig - forgot to tell you....Best...Comment...Ever!!! (What does it mean to 'spindle' something, anyway? Make thread out of it?! I got the "...repeat, paraphrase, duplicate, fold... or mutilate..." ?mutate? part...)

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarate Lady

drat! I was going to take tomorrow off and possibly go to the other Epcot (depending on the rain situation)...nevermind, when the DOC calls, I will answer!!

I recognized this as a replay instantly although two days ago someone said the phone number I've had for 15 years and I didn't even recognize it. yeah, I'm kinda pathetic, I agree!!

I LOVE Cakewrecks!!

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

I agree with everyone else. We got your back!!!!!!!!!!!!! And if necessary, we'll have your front, sides, tops and bottoms.

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLindarella

*Some* commenters take things waaaay too seriously. *Some* people seem to have forgotten that this is a humour blog. The rest of us get it and get you, Jen and John. Just ignore the drama llamas in the corner <3

April 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPamela V.

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