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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
May242013

Summer "Lovin'"

I don't really keep up with you young whippersnappers' schedules, but going by the cakes coming in I'm guessing summer vacation is starting up. Soooo...

 

Hey, hoopy froods, school's is out for summer!!

You know what's awesome about summer, besides throwing all those pesky grammar rules to the wind?

 

Jumping into pools of cubed green Jell-O, that's what:

During the Winter Underlined book tour I actually had a whole Q-and-A session derailed by a discussion on the practice of combining Jell-O with cake. Apparently some of you weirdos do that.

[ducking and running for cover]


That's not all summer is known for, though. There's also the ice cream cones:

(Honestly not sure which parts of that are edible...but I'm hoping the answer is "none of it.")

 

And steaks on the grill:

YUM.

 

And hamburgers:

(I like how even the fake plastic ants won't touch those "french fries.")

 

And hot dog pancakes:

This looks like a job for... the Special Pancake Victims' Unit!

*DONK DONK*

 

And then, after all that food, you get to stuff yourself into a bathing suit:

I actually look exactly like this in a bikini, only paler*. And with more muffin tops. (HEYO.)

(*People tend to think Floridians are super tan, summer-loving sun-worshippers. Hee! SO CUTE.  No, we're the ones huddled inside with the AC blasting, laughing at all you crazy tourists are out there getting heat strokes. We also own more sweaters than the average Alaskan, because there is no place colder in the continental U.S. than inside a Florida public building during the month of June.)

And then of course there are the fun-loving hordes of ants...

I swear these things are solar-powered.

 

Not to mention the blistering heat...

...and family vacations where everyone's miserable except the organizer of said vacation, who is homicidally determined to have a good time...

[One of my most cherished Disney memories is of the family collapsed on a park bench, moaning, while the Dad stands before them, screaming, "We're not here to RELAX, we're here to HAVE FUN."

"I'm having fun! I'm having fun!"

 

Plus there's nothing good on TV, and the neighborhood kids wake you up at oh-HAIL-no-thirty with their shrill little screams of glee and stomping feet, and all the parks and shops are crowded, and, and...

Huh. How long 'til Fall, again?

 

Thanks to Tracey D., Adriane M., Sam H,, Kerry L., Lauralee L., Aj M., Jill V., Julie G., Kristin M., and Becky C. for making us realize just how much we need a vacation.

« Special Saturday Video: A Wreck Odd-To-See | Main | Graduated Layers »

Reader Comments (120)

Well those plastic ants would make sure I wouldn't go near the cake or the person that made that cake lol. Ugh really gross. And the "steak" wow.. just wow lol. No words come to mind to express what I thought when I saw it. Nothing printable anyways lol.

May 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

For Tracy: try searching for "poke cake". That's what we always called it. FYI, it's best if you bake the cake a little longer so that it's a bit dryer than usual, because the jello will add a lot of moisture back.

May 25, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlinda

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!! Been to Disney many a time, and you always hear a parent yell at their overheated, overtired child "We're here to have a good time and have fun! So stop whining!" I think Elmo sums it up beautifully.

May 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

I woke up today feeling rather like that ninth cake.

Why are those children happily bathing in ectoplasm? Are they ghost babies?

Your Pal,

Storm

May 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStorm

@Tracy- Re: The Uterus Cake. Excellent idea!!

May 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

@mel: your gift of commentary is RARE in this MEDIUM. WELL DONE.

May 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Thanks for the great read this morning! Everyone here ROCKS!!

I have to pipe in on the hot/cold experiences. I work in an older building (in Austin, TX) where there appears to be only one controller for the HVAC and it is on the top floor. I work on the bottom floor. So, in the winter when we need the heat, the upstairs turns it down because they start to swelter and I , in turn, freeze. Conversely, in the summer, they CRANK the a/c and I, in turn, freeze. I have been known to utilize two (yes, TWO) space heaters at my desk - one about two inches from my feet and a small one on my desk for my hands which turn blue while typing. Ugh.

And then my husband wonders why I'm wearing a jacket to lunch in August. (cue Yosemite Sam impersonation)

May 25, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

LOL! Thank you, BOYMOM! I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who thought it was a uterus!

May 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

of all the steak cakes i've seen, that is the most realistic and least offensive. but i suppose that's like saying of all the poo diapers i've changed, this is the least pooey

May 25, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermle

@zoomom -- did I tell you how glad I am that you're back....!

@BADKarma -- Ahhhh...that explains why one previously posted celebratory cake for a new daughter says "It's A Gril"....

@Jodee -- diploma's -- on the way! (they're for laughter...yours will be Magna Cum Loud...)....also, sorry for the "facepalm"...I don't know what possessed me yesterday...and, on a serious note, I hope your daughter is soon pain-free and well, and my thoughts and prayers will be with you this week-end....

@sendingtheclowns -- so close...so close...

@michelej -- thanks...I think muppets (and very serious ones only) will fit the bill perfectly...

@Barbara Anne -- Thank you! I love playing here... I just got a little carried away...(shrugs as if to say "duh"....)

@Sharyn -- well...I try to have a few CHOICE comments now and then, but you are the PRIME example for all of us...

May 25, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

@zoomom:
("I am not sure what might happen if you try swimming in other colours of Jello. Let me know when you try it, okay?")

Oh, NOoo, you don't (!!!)- You're not a-gonna make ME no stinkin' guinea pig. If I've said it once, I've said it a HUNdred times: I may have been born at night, but it sure as heck wasn't LAST night! =^-.-^=

May 25, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Did anyone else read the first cake in Toki Wartooth's voice?

May 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJellyjo

@mel ~ I learn so much here. Will you be handing out dipolma's soon?

**side not** my spell check had a very difficult time letting me spell that word up there. Obviously I need to change the language selection to Cakewreckeze :)
*****************************************************
Oh, I got a big kick out of this!! Maybe as a *side not,* we should all credit our misspellings to Brian Dipolma...the great director....heh,heh. =^>,<^=

May 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Arizona is the same way. I bundle up all summer long!!

I do love that Elmo cake though... he looks terrified. Like someone it pointing a gun in his face saying "Stick em up!" :)

May 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Yep, we heard a dad at Disney World say they didn't go all the way down there to sit by the pool. LOL.

May 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDis Fan

(*People tend to think Floridians are super tan, summer-loving sun-worshippers. Hee! SO CUTE. No, we're the ones huddled inside with the AC blasting, laughing at all you crazy tourists are out there getting heat strokes. We also own more sweaters than the average Alaskan, because there is no place colder in the continental U.S. than inside a Florida public building during the month of June.)

HAHAHAHA i've only lived here since August and YES. I have two sweaters in my office alone because the darn place is so freaking cold!
And. Pale as I was in PA. Everytime I go home my friends ask if I'm really living in FLorida cause - wheres my tan?
If they only knew.

May 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaty Jones

@sendingtheclowns ~ Yeah, I wondered if anyone would catch that...

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Are the ice cream cones on top of a cake pinball machine, or a real pinball machine? Some of the bits underneath the cones look they were done in run-in frosting.. but I can't tell..

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarin

Yes, Miami airport is perhaps colder than O'Hare's eternally drafty G terminal, though I don't remember freezing in most FL buildings as a kid in the 1980s.

And why a green jello pool? I mean, they still make blue raspberry jello, right?

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKiwi

I live in Washington state, just about an hour away from Seattle, and I hate summer, too. It's too hot! And yes, "hot" to a Western Washingtonian means about 80 degrees. I spend summer, when I come home from work and school (there are few things so deserted as a college campus in summer quarter), lounging around in boxers and a tank top, with a scarf dipped in cold water draped around my head, and swimming in icy cold Puget Sound. And it's STILL TOO HOT. I would probably die if I ever set foot in Florida.
Anyway, does the Disneyworld Dad remind anyone else of Clark Griswold? "We're gonna have a good old-fashioned family Christmas!"

May 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

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