My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

There's Your Sign

June is Do-It-Yourself Marketing Month, bakers, and you know what THAT means!

Yep: time to SAVE some MONEY!! Woot woot!

Don't have any actual cake for the window display? NO PROBLEM. Styrofoam works wonders - no frosting required!


Those crowds of customers will come stampeding in any minute!

Any minute.

Annnnnnny minute...


And for an arresting display inside your bakery, all you need is a mannequin head and a bag of laundry!

I have literally never wanted to purchase baked goods more.


 Speaking of which, a good quality product practically sells itself, so be sure to fill your shelves with all your top sellers:

Kids just want the toys anyway, right?

If they complain, just throw in a tube of icing!


Say, did you know you can save a bundle by typing up your bakery's signage yourself? It's true! And no one will ever know the difference!


(I hear this place is squeaky clean.)


I'm partial to the Sahara, myself. 

(And if you're wondering where the extra 'S' went ...

... There it is!)


Now, is it possible to make tiny mistakes when making your own signage? Sure. But I think you'll find that, in the long run, the benefits FAR outweigh the... er...



Never mind. You're on your own.

Thanks to April M., Denise, Sonya, Meg S., Diana S., Maggie C., Michelle, Nancy M., Brandy F., and Susan R. for the reminder that, sometimes, it pays to pay a real professional.

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Reader Comments (75)

I do not like mouse cake Sam I am! (with apologies to Dr. Seuss!)

I do not like it in a box.
I do not like it with a fox
I do not like it in a house
I do not like it with a mouse
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not like chocolate mouse cake.
I do not like it, Sam-I-am.

Now somebody please let me know when the mouse is gone so I can come back? I have a very big, completely rational fear of mice. I truly don't care if it's chocolate or not.

You guys who think the 9 cent rapes is really talking about rapeseed plants are way to trusting. Waaaaaay to trusting...

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

That unproofed signage is just one more reminder: spell check will not help you if you are sufficiently, er, literacy-challenged that you cannot tell which of the auto-correct "suggestions" is the one you want.

To put it another way: Language is not a tool for amateurs (unless the job that tool serves would be self-embarrassment).

To sum up, stay in school, kids; learn to read; thank a teacher for not letting you slide; pay a proofreader. The business you save may be your own.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

@ Naomi - LOL!

Regarding the 9 cent "seedless rapes", there seems to be a dichotomy of thought here and it is hurting my brain. Here is the problem. If you pay the 9 cents for your "rape", doesn't that imply consent? So it is no longer the thing you thought it was and you demand your money back, which retracts consent and it is what it claims to be once more. Until you pay again...

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

@sendingtheclowns NO NO NO that's not what I meant at all :D

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

Perhaps Dessert Storm is the 'operation' depicted in the sequel to Bugsey Malone starring Scott Baio.

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

Cakes made from scratch ready in one hour? Well, they didn't say what they would be made OUT OF... Maybe 'from scratch' now means 'semi-homemade', or 'for tablescape display only'. Is that a She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named store?

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

@Sharyn: spp....
@zoomom: lol...good work!!
@SuBee:...and I had tickets for the second night....

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

We had a classic here in Omaha yesterday at the College World Series:

I understand the occasional typo/misspelling. But really, did they honestly think that writing on styrofoam would entice someone to enter their bakery? Or that Mom would draw in customers, rather than have them shrieking in terror?

Shuddering in horror. Must return to watching baseball!

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

@Sharyn: Witless Protection Program...oh, lord, I giggle/snorted and tried to cough up a lung at the same time. OUCH

@Craig: "Writhing on cakes." I'd do that for free. (TMI??)

if it costs $2 to get writting on cakes, how much do they charge for properly spelled words, hmmm?

@Jodee: never come to WDW in Orlando- they have a huge mouse problem. ;)

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Zoomom, can you please publish that as a children's storybook? I like it so much better than the old fairly tales...and Sharyn, wonderful song as always. Love this place!

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPauline

I do have to say that the chocolate "mouse" cake does look pretty yummy!

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTeal

("I have a very big, completely rational fear of mice.")
Aww,"There, there!" I'm that way about sp-spiders....(eeww) (Mine is totally irrational, but I still can't seem to conquer it.They're all WAY smaller than I am, and the idea of poison, per se, doesn't give me goosebumps. It's the way they MOVE...the way most of them LOOK (i.e.:CREEPY...poor things. But I won't kill them; I relocate them). It is what it is, y'know? Whether we think we "should" fear something or not is meaningless; the fear is real. SPEAKING OF SCARY, these signs & stuff are scary, huh? (AND not as off-topic as my little trip around the mulberry bush!)

June 17, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Well now I really think whoever puts up these signs just slaps them on and walks away. I am dying with laughter at the last one. Sheesh. I can't even think what the wreckerators did to the poor mouse to make it nice and chocolate..ick.

June 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

@ Sarah (" I am really curious as to how styrofoam baker is going to make a cake from scratch and have it available in one hour. Let's just be honest, that is impressive.")
Sure, it's impressive. But I'M not buyin' it! Just because they're purportedly "made from scratch", it doesn't mean that he/she/ StyroBaker made them him-/herself, really. Semantics! Maybe he's/she's got a bevy of brilliant bakers in the basement, baking! Who cares? He/she might just be bragging. But EH-I really don't care one way or t'other. =^~.-^=

June 18, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@pikkewyntjie: Your idea(s) regarding the *renaming* of "our" wars/conflicts...tensions/tussles, disagreements/entanglements etc., etc. are... (?) Well, It's...uh...(??)
Huh. I can't even think of WHAT to call it.
Well, I mean, other than sheer brilliance.

June 18, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

She's STILL in BED??? (Must be NICE, Little Miss Stepford-Wife-Look-Alike, thing.)

June 18, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I just noticed, the sign for "Breakfast in Bed" is done in landscape layout but the display stand is portrait layout. Do you suppose a wreckarator did the sign, too?

June 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPatti

Time to get Ric-Rolled!

Never gonna give you up!
Never gonna let you down!
Never gonna run around and
Dessert you!

June 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLindarella13

seedless rapes? rape by man post vasectomy?

June 18, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranonymous

I'm still stuck on the "fresh ingredients" and "no preservatives" in styrofoam cakes. And, like Sarah, I can't for the life of me figure out how, absent a Hogwarts time turner, that baker is going to make a cake from scratch, decorated, spelled correctly and everything, in less than an hour.

shaking my head...

June 18, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercmwilson

@SuBee, nope that picture was taken (by me!) just last year at a bakery in a small town in MD. Though I wonder if they did it on purpose and hope someone knows of the play. Either way, their brownies were pretty good. I was too hungry to let a spelling mistake deter me :-)

June 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNancy M.

I definitely need to get me some merinuge pie. I hear it's divine.

June 18, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersparkling74

So funny. So funny. So so funny funny.

First time ever being here. Have laughed myself to tears.

Whoever's place this is..... YOU are FUNNNNEEEEEEE. The only thing I would have done differently is omitted the "is"'s and "a"'s from your dream sequence satire. They simply aren't necessary in the water filter world.

This place is golden. It's Grrreat!

Thank you all. I'll be back!

June 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBrandi

Is the person who took the photo of the Styrofoam cakes display holding a little dog in a sweater? Hehehe, cute!

June 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLois

Our local bakery does indeed sell mousse mice. They are adorable and quite delicious. The ears and tail are slivered almonds, and the whiskers are chocolate shavings.

June 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

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