Jen and I live in a... diverse neighborhood. Lots of families, a few older folks, the occasional renter and/or drug dealer. Your basic American street. But my favorite has to be the family that lives a few doors down and entertains us each night at the top of their lungs. So today, I give you:
Things I hear while taking out the trash at two in the morning
(I put all the dialogue in extra large bold font to help you really appreciate the experience.)
"Put a diaper on that girl, Jimmie!"
"BILL! BILL!!! IF WE DON'T LEAVE BY 3AM ALL THE FISH WILL BE GONE!!! BILLLLLL!!!"
"PRECIOUS! PREEEE-CIOOOOUS! COME INSIDE. HERE BOY. C'MERE. C'MON. C'MERE. C'MERE, BOY." (Stepping just out of the door and raising voice even more) "PRECIOUS! GET IN HERE NOW!"
"You want Cheez-Whiz on your hotdog?"
"So I says to her, hey, for two hundred bucks it had gosh durn BETTER be real yak hair."
"GOSH DANGIT, MONTU GOT DOWN THE DRAIN AGAIN. CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, BILL!"
"NOPE, NEVERMIND; SHE'S JUST OUT IN THE YARD. MONTU, BABY! COME BACK! NO, DON'T GO IN THE NEIGHBOR'S WINDOW! BAD BOA! BAD!!"
Thanks to Elena P., Jill T., Lawanda J., Rahman C., Colleen M., Pamela S., & Hannah C. for being neighborly.