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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jun042013

Sponsored By WebMD (But Not Really)

Attention Cake Wrecks Readers!

The FBA (Food and Blog Administration) has issued strong new warnings for those who view this blog on a regular basis.

Frequent readers may experience one or more of the following:

 

Blurred Vision

 

Confusion

...often combined with squinting and stilted reading aloud.

 

Spontaneous German Utterances (SPU)

Ja, es ist ein Junge mit einer verstopften Eule!
(Yes, it is a boy with a constipated owl!)

 

Drooling

"What? Is there something on my face?"

 

Temporary loss of bowel function

 

And most serious of all:

Despair for the Future of Humanity

*headdesk*

 

*headdeskheaddesk*

 

*headdeskheaddeskheaddesk*

...often followed by a wicked headache.

 

If you, or a member of your family, have experienced any of these symptoms while reading Cake Wrecks...

GOOD!

See you tomorrow!

 

Thanks to Danielle G., Hannah F., Alison U., Karina R., Carly G., Stacey G., Stacey T., Julie G., and Jesse McE. for helping to expose these potential side effects to the public. And, yes, it IS SPU-- Spontane Preußischen Übersprachen. It's a technical term. You don't need to look it up. Really.

« And Now... Gordon Ramsay, Yelling At Cakes | Main | Channel Surfing »

Reader Comments (72)

@hyphen8: Yes. Yes, it is.
I could say they were moobs, but that's not really helping, is it?

@Jodee: Perhaps you ought to stick with facepalming, although you might have to explain a red handprint permanently etched across your face...Skyrim LARPing?

June 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

@ hyphen8
YOU wrote:
"Cake #8 - @ Maureen: agreed, "Please Provıde Plastıc Knıves" is pretty classic, dotless "ı"s and all."

Okay, how did you manage dotless "i"'s? I can't do that. =^? ?^=

June 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Sharyn,

Thanks for all theLOLs. Ein job gut gemacht!

June 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkatimomkat

Is it possible that Owl wrote cake #7, and was trying strenuously to repeat his triumphant "HIPY PAPY BTHUTHDTH THUTHDA BTHUTHDY" ?

Here's what I can make of mysterious cake #2:

I've had ups and yet worn [a] frown
I've worn smiles and been let down
But I'm "Always Awesome"

That interpretation seems to make a little sense, but I'm still "Perpetually Perplexed"

June 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEmmers

The worst part about the party blocks misspelling is the fact that party iscorrectly written on the plastic or edible image or wharever the paryt blocks are sitting on

June 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

You forgot to tag this with "Literal LOLs" for that last one. Otherwise, plenty of laughs, WTFs, and headdesks all around (and one EEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!). xD

June 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAaron

Sorry folks, Übersprechen means cross-talk, but Übersprachen does not exist.

June 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

Congrats, Joemama!!

I'm not commenting on the cakes today. Nope. Not happening. **cough cough awful ugly cough cough**

June 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Hairy crack shart cakes = class.

June 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlazypadawan

Congratulations on finishing your second week of law school. Here's a cake made from remnants of the set of Laugh-In.

June 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

Oh man I really need to unsee that butt cake. I can't even begin to imagine why that was even ordered lol. And yep I did read that one long cake out loud and still can't manage to figure out the point to it. Probably has none other than to drive me mad.

June 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

That last one looks like it has been written in melted plastic. Oy vey!

June 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTronell

@Just Andrea - gee, thanks. I just looked up moobs and now have a new word in my vocabulary: just what I needed.

@sendingtheclowns: character map is my friend. I pulled up Arial and scrolled throught the Unicode characters until I found it, then previewed the post to see if it might work. I like the way it looks just a teeny bit off without being in your face about it.

Perhaps the idea behind the "blurred vision" cake is that it's very busy? I do like the colors; I think I once saw a vintage '70s muumuu with a similar print...

June 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

I just had to drop in to say, as a follower of sewing blogs as well as CakeWrecks, "FBA" is used as a shorthand for "full bust adjustment" (to adjust a paper pattern to accommodate a large bust).

The more you know!

June 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKatherine

AAAaaaAAAaaaAAA!!! Do not Google "moobs"!!!

June 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

@ lazypadawan, kudos for the shart reference.
Question: Do we really want to have sharts commemorated in cake and icing? Personally, I would be fine if we never mentioned it again.

June 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

@hyphen8; Ahhhhhhhh....the 'je ne sai quoi' of the not-in-one's-face, and yet "with a twist" dotless i!!
I like the IDEA of it almost as much as the thing itself! Anyhoo, mystery-to-me solved! Merci!
=^-.-^=

June 5, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

According to Google Translate, "Spontane Preußischen Übersprachen" is "Spontaneous Prussian About Languages". What the fudgesicles?

June 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWreckophile #1

You gotta fight,
for your right,
to Paryt!

June 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterA

As one who is part of a fandom for a comic about countries as people I can speak a little German, and that cake would have been really cute had the owl not looked like it was hit in the face with a shovel. And dear god really please provide plastic knives what was wrong with them, that underwear cake it haunts my dreams as do a lot of the other cakes here. But as a fan of the site and hetalia I role play a couple characters. I'm afraid my birthday is coming and I will have to get a cake dear, god I don't anything like that yecck!!!

June 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterhetaliafangirl

I allways read your post the way I guess you "want" us to so I was squinting and stilted reading aloud and then read your comment. I nearly wet myself! Tears sprang to my eyes and nearly spat my drink across my keyboard, luckely, it ended up in my hand... Thank you for making me lose sleep! (and no, my spelling mistakes are not intentional, I'm just not a native english speaking person) ;-)

September 11, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMiriam

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