Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jul012013

Happy Canada Day!

Every day here in Florida, I step out of my house and immediately burst into a flop sweat. (This is john (the hubby of Jen) btw. Jen doesn't flop sweat, she flop glistens.) And as I stand there, shoes melting to the asphalt, freckled skin sizzling, I wonder for the umpteenth time why I haven't moved to Canada.

And speaking of Canada... [Look, it's just too hot for clever segues.]

Today is Canada Day! So in honor of this, my future national holiday, I present to you:

The 5 Worst Canadian Flag Cakes Followed By A Misspelling!

This is the Canadian flag:

So symmetrical. So lovely.

 

So...

...close.

Just a little melty along the edges.
(Kinda like how I feel.)

 

Now, this. This is...

Inexplicable.

 

Maybe it would look better in fondant?

Nope.

 

Is it me or does this remind anyone else of Richard Nixon?

"I am [shaking jowls] not a cake!"

 

And this is obviously The Majestic Canada Bush®

Or maybe a red cat in a wind tunnel. One of the two.

 

And now, the only misspelling of Canada I have in 21,000 cakes:

Still not as bad as SUA.

 

Let me leave you with the most amazing pastry I've ever eaten and the reason that I literally gained 8 pounds in 3 days while in Ottawa:

And I would totally do it again.

Happy Canada Day!

 

Thanks to Jim P., Julie J., Megan W., Michaelle P., Nicole K., Shaunna, and Brian B. for bearing with me today. This'll teach Jen not to get sick, forcing me to write a post at 2 in the morning.

« ...and so fourth | Main | Sunday Sweets: Drama Queens »

Reader Comments (84)

2nd one looks like a red crown - like they decided to remake Her Royal Majesty's crown out of strawberries or something...

@Lasteven - well, that would make it a GYN holiday, wouldn't it? ;-)

@Craig - Wally World?! Did I miss something?!

@ Jodee - heeheehee

@ Jen - get well soon. It could be worse...you could be in Houston...we broke heat records *all* last week. One day it was 106! (Fahrenheit for you Canadians - Happy Canada Day, btw!) For five years, I had some former Canadians as neighbors - some of my best neighbors ever. Did your country proper, they did. And they go back to visit their homeland every year. :-) Bet they're celebrating today...I'll have to send 'em a congratulatory email...

Kudos to Haiku Joy, BADKarma, Sharyn, mel, Craig, JustAndrea, zoomom, & pretty much the whole Cake Wrecks clan today...and john, thoj, too, of course...Hey John, you could add a link to that apology post you did when Canada got cut off from Cake Wrecks for a little while... ;-) (heeheehee) (I still think of the back up singers doing "jazz hands" and singing "We're really, really, rrreeaaallllyy ssssooorrrrrryyyy!" :-) I'm just glad you didn't block Texas after that nasty 'bout of sepsis in Dallas - EEK!!

July 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

@Craig ("I wear a sweater in your general direction'')
Whoa! Are you sure you want to get THAT down and dirty, mister?
=^~.~^=
p.s.-I hope you have ample insurance, because you crack me up!!

July 1, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Hey, first time poster, long time reader. Any Canadian who has ever been through first grade will tell you how hard that thing is to draw. I spent Canada Day partly stuck inside recovering from an injury, so thanks for the good laugh.

July 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLucas

@Sharyn: you've done it eh-gain!

@machine girl: it is not fair of you to post a description like that without handing out samples. I'll take one of the Reeses/nutella variety.

Maybe it's the anal-retentive/perfectionist in me, but if it were THAT hard to draw the emblem on my country's flag, I'd print out a copy of said emblem, cut around it, and use it as a guide. Just sayin'.

Jen, I hooe you feel better soon!

July 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

@ TLC, the free-hand drawing of the maple leaf seems to be a right of passage in elementary school...you know, like walking to school up hill both ways in 6 feet of snow ;)

Get well soon Jen!

July 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

From the cloudy Canadian capital, thanks so much for the amazing CW post and all the comments -- my kids are wondering why I was laughing so loud, starting with Sharyn!!! Happy Canada Day to all (even if you aren't Canadian, eh?? We're very multicultural, y'know)

July 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCanadian K

Hilarious! UGH I'm sick too...must be going around...ick Feel better soon! :D

July 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

@BADKarma
You forgot:

Limited time only
no C.O.D.
only offered by KTel
CALL NOW!!

July 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

well, carp. (switch the middle two letters- I can say "carp" at work without getting fired)

I meant offered by Ronco as KTel was the compilation albums of popular music (often a 2 record set)

I'm old.

July 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

How does it look like Nixon??? Who's Nixon?

July 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBea

"I wear a sweater in your general direction." Craig, you certainly have a way with words... By the way, it was 1117 degrees, I mean 117 degrees at my house the other day.

July 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLindarella

@Sharyn lol!

July 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSam

Ahh some wrecks to take my mind off of the 100 degrees here..sheesh. I plan to hibernate until winter lol. And of course look at wrecks. Get well soon Jen!!

July 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

@Drockbox ("I guess the wreckerators in Canada are a step above those in the US!"):
Bite your tongue! Canada is above the U.S.geologically, but don't think for one hot minute that we can be out-done in the CrappyUglyCake department! From what I've seen on this-here thing, we take Great Pride in being THE worst, and we're not about to abdicate that distinction. So there!
=^-.-^= (Er... anybody with me, here?)

July 2, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@CarrieG: Aww, "there, there"! Go ahead and "feel old", but look on the bright side: it beats the alternative!
(I think Mark Twain said that.) =^-.-^=

July 2, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

"I wear a sweater in you general direction" killed me. I sympathize, man. I grew up in SoCal. I'm enjoying the overnight 60s right now. And the (currently) low humidity. I'd trade the humidity in for 100s, though.

July 2, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdoodlebug

HAPPY CANADA DAY & JOYEUSE FETE DU CANADA!

Great one Sharyn.
@ohmygoodness -your son is right, he shouldn't work on this holiday.
We thought the 2nd cake was on fire. Maybe it is for the Calgary Flames.
@karalynn - we hope you are drying out after the Calgary floods. Never even thought about all the mosquitoes that would come with all the extra water.

July 2, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjeliecam

It doesn't look like Nixon to me as much as it looks like a li'l fire demon type guy saying "A BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!" Which is almost the same thing, really, if you think about it.

Hey Jen, feel better soon, girlygirl!

Your Pal,

Storm

July 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStorm

This has nothing to do with this post, but I just saw this in the news that someone posted to my FB.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/bakery-error-sees-cat-cap-graduate-head-portrait-cake-article-1.1376008

Pretty funny, but incredibly sad. Definitely a "wreck".

July 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

@Barbara Anne ~ I remember KTel! I'm old too :-(

July 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

It's funny how you say Canada is cooler - in our area this year it was 37┬░celsius (99┬░fahrenheit) xD I had to made a Canada Day cake and it belonged on this site! As I was icing the cake the icing was melting off of it! Total disaster; Tasted delicious though.

July 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

@Barbara Anne & Jodee - me too! me too! "And you have this AMAZING compilation on your choice of 2 LPs, 8-track, or cassette..."

@Emily - I think all the oldsters think they have the right to regal us with stories of the rites of passage no matter when they live. My dad grew up in Texas & when he got PO'ed about our behavior & complainin', he'd tell us how lucky we were and how bad it was for him, walkin' to school...uphill (IN HOUSTON?!?)...in the snow both ways. Hearing that story meant it was time for us to shape up, cuz we were about 2 sec away from a spanking!

July 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Hey Marv... I bet you're thinking of gengar !

June 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBelly

You know what I like most about this site? I mean, there's so much to choose from, but what really does it for me is that you can make a post at 2 AM and still have 50 comments before most people get up in the morning.

Happy Canada Day!

July 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

Thanks for the Canada Day post! By the way, it is pretty melty up here too. Here in Ottawa it is not even 8:30 am and it is already 34 Celcius with the humidity. That is about 93 F Yesterday it hit 40C (104F)

July 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBrendaluou

I"m pretty impressed with that first cake, for a freehand maple leaf on a square cake.
.
As for Sharyn's missing "eh" - she obviously knows how Canada was named. The leaders put all the letters of the alphabet into a bag, and decided they would name the country based on the letters which were drawn out. One draws the letters, the other will write them down. So the first letter is pulled out - "C, eh". And the next "N, eh", and then a "D, eh". And we have CANADA :)

July 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKrista

Only one wreckerator misspelled Canadia? I'm impressed!

Seriously, considering how many people intentionally say or write "Canadia" to be funny I'm surprised there isn't a cake that says that that wasn't supposed to.

There will be.

Give it time.

July 1, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

You'd think the wreckorators would have heard of a buttercream or piping gel transfer - no need to try to freehand the monstrosity that is our maple leaf, but trace and decorate. And yes, there are maple leaf cookie cutters, but they're surprisingly harder to find especially in larger sizes. And don't bother with Wilton. I have their "Maple leaf" cookie cutter, and it looks more like an oak leaf. Only reason I have it is because it was given away free at my decorating class.

/me wanders off singing "The Maple Leaf Forever."

July 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

oh it gets hot and humd here too. Yesterday the humidex was 38 but then there are days it's cold as a witch's boob. You get the instructions on how to do the maple leaf in about grade three so these people have no excuse. Still, as we've all seen here before, anything is possible eh? ;)

July 1, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterrachel

Before I even look at the other comments I have to tell you that "I am [shaking jowls] not a cake!" had me shaking with laughter for almost a minute. This is Some Feat.

and those are Some ... uh, attempts at the maple leaf. They pretty much got the color right, though. I mean colour.

JTHOJ, you made my morning.

July 1, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterrolypolyducky

I believe EVERYTHING in Canada is closed on Canada Day. Darn near starved to death one July 1 in Victoria.

And all those references to BeaverTails sent me to Google where I discovered there is money to be made from franchise opportunities. John, you need to think about it for all the Canadian snowbirds in FL. Of course you would end up weighing 800 pounds, but worth the risk. I don't think they will ever get a Tim Horton's that far south, so it would be a welcome taste of home for our neighbors to the north.

Jen, get better soon.

July 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

John, move to Vancouver. Your sandals will never stick to the pavement again. You can eat whale tails every day if you choose. You won't need an air conditioner. You WILL need an income upwards of $100 000 if you want to live anywhere. And we have the music group known as The Arrogant Worms, who wore this in honour of their country Canada. Check out "Canada's Really Big."

July 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Good job on the post. Nixon was easy to see and the spelling just wanted to know if you Can da.

July 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNorma

Great interpreations of Canada's flag.

July 5, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Saxon

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>