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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jul182013

Wreckily Ever After

Parents beware! Some of today's wrecks are not appropriate for kids.

Oh, and to my knowledge only two of these were NOT served at actual weddings. Let's see if you can guess which ones. [evil grin]

 

Someday my prince will come


Someday I'll find my love


And how thrilling that moment will be!

When the prince of my dreams comes to me!

 

He'll whisper, "I love you,"

 

And steal a kiss or chew:

Though he may be far away


I will find my love someday 

(The porcelain throne?) 

 Someday when my dreams ...

 

 ... come true!

 

 

Thanks to  Lynn G, Anony M., K.J., Serena M., Carol M., Alan R., Katie L., Solli S., Marisa F., & Stephanie L. for the royal treatment.

 

Oh, and for a sweet little palate cleanser, here's the version of Someday I listened to while writing this post. You should watch it. It's pretty. And Felicia Day is, like, too adorable. :)

 

 

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Reader Comments (75)

What would be awesome
is a wedding with ALL these
- ah - delectables.

July 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Isn't #5 the one Bill Clinton gave to Monica Lewinsky? Oh, wait, that one said "on your dress," not "in your eye." I'm not sure who he gave this one to. I think there were several of these.

July 18, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

@Laura - LOL!

July 18, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

I'm guessing that the first one is for a fan of the band Gentle Giant, then? Looks like the cover of their first album. 8)

July 18, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbnt

I'm wondering if the groom for Cake #1 (Bald Fondant Guy) is a Hayao Miyazaki fan, because to me baldy looks a lot like the Kashira bouncing head guys from "Spirited Away." Just a thought. Still pretty creepy though.

July 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnne S

Ok I know I'm in the minority here - but I LOVE the dog cake. It's so awful. I think it's great. Nope wouldn't want to eat it, and think it's disgusting, but whoever did it nailed it. Way more creeped out by the lumpy penis rockets - would have loved to seen that one served at a wedding next to semen in your eye.

July 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMel

Ooooh! Can we please have pretty videos at the ends of all the nasty cake posts please? It was sooooo sweet and wonderful and it helped clear my mind of those incredibly distasteful cakes. These were some lucky lucky girls, I tell ya!

July 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

Actually even more disturbing, I just looked at my browser and noticed on the cake wrecks page directly next to the google eyed lettuce man is an ad for russian girls who want to connect with western men. I think I'll have nightmares all night.

July 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMel

@Haiku Joy - Good one! :-)

@Laura - I'm with zoomom - nicely done!

@Mel - HA! Love the idea of the sandcastle penis cake next to the semen cake - Hee!

July 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Anyone else reminded of the Shel Silverstein poem "Who Ordered the Broiled Face?" by cake #1? From the book "A Light in the Attic?" No? *Sigh....* 'Kay, never mind.

July 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

@bnt: YIKES!!! You oughta put a "WARNING:Creepy-facedSOMETHING will jump out at you!" with that link. What fresh Hell IS that?! =^@.@^=

July 18, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

What happened to "OW, get your hand off my hair"????

July 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah B.

Those are really, really sad. Thanks for the palate cleanser at the end though. That was well worth the watch. I love Felicia Day!

July 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

two words I never thought I'd type in the same sentence: semen, cake. yeah. just about the weirdest cake ever (mostly because, for once, I do NOT want to know the backstory!!)

July 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

The dog cake is one of the most beautiful I have ever seen. It should be in Sunday Sweets.

Go Jackets! To Hell with Georgia!

July 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGeorge P. Burdell

Lol I kind of hope all of them except the dog one were served at weddings. What can I say? I am just twisted that way lol. I do feel bad for the brides unless of course they actually ordered them to say and look like these. In which case I am dying of laughter.

July 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

are the bald guy's beard and eyebrows made of bacon?

July 19, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermomc@t

While I always smile when reading the posts everyday- it's been awhile since I spit my water out and started laughing. A head?! Roadkill?! What on earth were people thinking?! And you know someone choked on one of those bottle caps.
(Also- love the video at the end- thanks for the share :D )

July 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSamanthaRose

I wish none of these cakes were served at weddings. If I had to guess, I'd probably say the naughty cakes, but that leaves me with the painful realization that the roadkill dog would then make an appearance at someone's wedding. And I just can't live with that realization. So I'm going to pretend these cakes never happened, that this is all just a crazy nightmare, and I'm going to go back to bed. XD

July 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSabs

These are hilarious! "Someday my prince will come" is quite scary! Hope that's never my prince! :P

July 19, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterElena

Man, this always happens . . . I'm away for a couple of days and miss out on semen and vagina cakes. (OK, class, I want you to write a short story using that sentence as a writing prompt . . . ) Perhaps those to were at a baby shower?

So many questions . . . why is a cake head served with parsley? Why does a semen cake have black icing? What is dripping on the beer can cake? Who gets to eat the dead plastic deer at the end of the hunt?

I was also hoping the answer was posted somewhere . . . which ones were NOT served at a wedding?

July 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Miss you, Jen.

July 20, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJanet O'Brien

I made the head cake years ago, that's what he wanted. :) I have since made some awesome cakes, check them out on facebook.com/eyecandysugar.

July 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

The beard and eyebrows in the first cake look like they are made out of bacon? or burnt spaghetti?!

July 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdominique

Is it just me, or does the first cake look like Chancellor Gorkon minus the head bumps?

August 8, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJan C.

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