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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jul232013

The Baby Currently Known As "Prince"

Here at Cake Wrecks, we'd like to take this opportunity to congratulate the royal family the best way we know how:

...in a barely literate, wildly inappropriate manner.

 Score!

 

Plus - of course - with some really bad puns:

This egg-celent choice is sure to crack 'em up - no yolk!

 

We'd also like to share this time-honored wisdom:

 Hey. You're welcome.

 

 Hang on, I just realized we haven't actually congratulated the new parents yet. 

That's better.

(Go Yanks!)

 

Or, for something a little more colorful:

(We can only hope.)

 

Now prepare for a full-frontal assault of celebratory cakeyness:

It's the DEAD-EYED MONKEY STARE... OF JOY!

Rejoice, I say!

 REJOICE!!!

Ahem.

 

As of this writing there haven't been any photos of the new prince released, but I'm sure the little tyke looks absolutely delicious:

Or at least ... shiny.

 

Tell you what: maybe we should just keep it simple.

Anyone know how to grunt in a British accent?

 

Well, that's all from us, royals. Wishing you all many happy returns, and of course, hugs n' kisses!

 

 

Thanks to Lindsey J., Anony M., Amanda K., Keri K., Sarah S., Carrie, Erin G., Carly A., Kelly L., & Marla G. for helping us keep it classy.

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Reader Comments (78)

Admit it, the sperm cake is a little creepy but it's done well. I think I won't put any in my mouth though, thank you.

And Kiss-ing the Baby is pretty cool.

July 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermouse

Awww! These are such fun. Thank you, SuBee and Just Andrea!

July 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I freakin' LOVE the KISS cake!!!! I need to find a reason to get one for me. Sperm cake looks more like Casper (but Casper the friendly sperm just doesn't have the same ring to it), and reading its caption just makes me think of hockey (c'mon my fellow Canadians, don't tell me you weren't thinking of Hockey Night in Canada!)

Happy Birthday Joy!

July 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

Happy birthday haiku joy :D

July 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

That monkey looks very judgmental...and oddly like a man with big ears who stuck his face in brown sugar.

July 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGabby

Hugs and kisses...har har! CW humor is like none other.
Also, a standing ovation for SuBee!!!!! That was simply brilliant!
Between the posts and the comments I can always count on CW to brighten my day.

July 23, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersandy

Happy Birdthay, Haiku Joy!

@Jodee, I was re-reading my comment (hours after the fact is the best time for proofread, I always find) and thought I might have stepped on the line. Thanks for being a good sport.

Cool on 'Dare. If you notice any cat statuary you don't recall acquiring, it just comes with the territory.

July 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Do I have a stomach because suddenly I cannot feel it okay well, bye appetite, so great having known you I'm just going to HURK

lol :D thanks for the laugh!

July 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

cruisin' along, (thinking happy birthday thoughts to resident haiku esxperts) enjoying my wrecks and BOOM! "hugs n' kisses!"

Pure AWESOME! I so love you in a non-celery kind of way.

BEST.ENDING.EVER.

(passes out from joy)

.
.
.
.

July 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Lol looking at these cakes I can't stop laughing til I cry. Who on earth ordered the scary monkey cake? Maybe they like them but still I would have nightmares and avoid it all cost.

July 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

@HAL: I'm not Scottish. Does that mean I can't say "babby"?
Hey, don't let that stop you! Go ahead: live it up!
=^n.n^=
---------------------------------------------------------------
@craig: "#5 I like how they slipped the logo in there without anyone noticing." ("Darn it, Frankie, ya damn Yankee--I TOLD you not to rub their noses in it. We WON. Let it GO, already.")
=^e.e^=
---------------
@SABS: Oh, they have a name; it's just not publicized yet. (The family dares to have a few minutes of privacy... I don't know about you, but I know when I'VE been insulted!)
=^~.~^=

July 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Congradlulations! Conratulatians! Congratmaltions! What the heck, GOOD JOB!
The hockey one made me think of balloons.
The shiny baby looks a lot like new Grandfather, HRH Prince Charles.
Hugs & kisses. Great ending!
p.s. Happy Birthday, Haiku Joy

July 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjeliecam

There is already a picture of the royal baby when Prince William and Duchess Kate left the hospital. But the picture of the baby seems a nice touch and it looks delicious. The Yankees cake look formal and cute. I thought the score was a Casper ghost cake. And the Kiss baby cake is a creative cake.

July 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBelinda James

It's not the best Chibi-thulhu, but it's not that bad.

July 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterScott

Birthday to Joy
The present has past
I am late (but not the kind of late that necessitates any of these cakes!)

I hope you had a great birthday, HaikuJoy!

And, um, well, I don't think I'd ever eat shiny cake, but I have to agree that the KISS baby is pretty cute!

July 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

SABS: they said on the news here (Toronto) that traditionally, the name of a newborn royal is not announced for about a week after the birth, so that other women who gave birth the same day won't copycat the name to death for their babies.

July 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStriderGirl

@SuBee: lol...well done, well done (cheering, clapping....)
@Haiku Joy: a belated but heartfelt Happy Birthday! You are the Haiku Laureate of Cake Wrecks!

July 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

How come NO ONE thought about radioactive Baby Zoidberg??!

July 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPerson

Glad the wreckerator told us it was a babby but it might of been helpful if they clarified a baby what? Maybe they know something about the royals we don't....

July 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMelx

@Jodee: the 'terrifying terrorist'? Jefa-fa DunHAM reference? heehee!

July 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

Thank you everyone for sweet, funny birthday wishes. I had a wonderful day - Mr. Haiku surprised me with flowers, I got to visit with a friend of mine in Poland, I ran my longest sustained time to date, and the internet wrote me poetry! (wink wink, that's you)

July 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I actually really like the monkey cake. That monkey is not dead-eyed, he's subtly sardonic! Like that look on your face when you're listening to an amusingly boring story. That look that says: Please, GO ON.

And the Baby Cthulhu cake will always have a special place in my heart.

Re: royal baby names, apparently they went with George (meh). My mom was pulling for Percival (All hail King Percy!), and I hoped they'd go all the Anglo-Saxon way and name him Ivanhoe. Yes, I know that was the dude's title, not name, but King Ivanhoe is way cooler than King Wilfrid.

...

KING IVANHOE!

July 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

It's a Cthulhu! Oh, for cute!

July 24, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

It looks like Zoidberg DID impregnate Kiff.

(If you get this reference, congratulations! You passed the Futurama nerd test.)

July 24, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterldsarcher19

It's a baby . . . Cthulhu?

Yes.

July 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJennwith2ns

Oh good. Spermy num nums.

*gack*

July 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterImp

That first couple is apparently expecting a horse with a red-brown coat and black mane, tail, and legs.
No wonder the cake says "Holy Crap!"

August 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGary

The one in the eggshell reminds me of the book "Outside Over There" by Maurice Sendak (inspiration for the film Labyrinth). Ida finds her baby sister in an eggshell, but that cake baby does look like the ice baby the goblins swapped the baby sister for. In that context, it's quite well done.

August 13, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPussycat

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