Open Mouth, Insert Catastrophic Failure

Wreckerators, I've been watching you mutilate a beachy pair of flip-flops for years now. YEARS.

First, you made them extra lumpy:

Then you turned them into a pair of giant amoebas:

Next you went through your "spotted pickles" phase:

... or, depending on your color scheme, maybe diseased kidneys:

Then you really started exploring the studio space:

[Gold-plated diapers not included. I hope.]

But now - NOW - you've gone and outdone yourselves, wreckerators. 

I feel I should remind you that THIS is approximately what a pair of flip-flops looks like:

And this... [biting lip]

...THIS is what... !!

No, I can't do it. 

I can't even dignify this last wreck with an intro, wreckerators. I'm just going to sit over here with my eyes narrowed and shake my head at you. 

That's right: I'M SHAKING MY HEAD IN SHAME.

Because nothing can prepare one...

FOR THE SOLE-CRUSHING

TOE DESTROYERS

... OF DOOOOOOM!

Seriously.

SERIOUSLY.

Shaking my head in shame... FOREVER.

Thanks to Brittany H., Casey, Lisa C., Nathaly W., Rebecca K., & Danielle H. for making us laugh 'til we cry for our future.