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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Feb262014

Dueling Disasters

Banjo #1: bada ding ding ding ding ding ding diiing...

Banjo #2: bada ding ding ding ding ding ding diiing...

Banjo #1: ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding...

Banjo #2: ding ding ding ding ding...

YEEEEEEHAAAAAW!!!

Banjos #1 & #2 ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding

ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding

Ding.

And now... the new and improved movie version!

 

Hey, Cindy S. and btchelicious: Bada ding ding ding.

*****

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Reader Comments (61)

Brilliant! (The post, not the cakes.)

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVioletRose

God bless 'Merica.
God help the rest of us...

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I don't know, Francis.
Do we underestimate
the power of tulle?

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

It's not just the joke, it's the Deliverance.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Why, John, you sure do have a purty mouth....hyuk-hyuk.....

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Just watched the video. I think if you make a cake with Huggies and Coors Light, that's what CPS calls "probable cause"

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTrish

Putting aside the (ahem) decorations and column structure, I find the actual cake layers in both cakes to look quite attractive and professional, though I do question the mental faculties of the couples/decorators that thought those designs would be appropriate.

I also lol'd at John (thoj)'s video compilation and would love to see the other cakes glimpsed there in more detail!

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLady Kal

And now I will have that song in my head as an earworm ALL DAY.

Thanks John. Jerk.

(just kidding)

(sort of)

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

Redneck p*$$ y beer cake is much classier than redneck generic pop cake. But, the overall winner has to be the one with the package of diapers cake tier!

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLorie

Thank you SO much for posting the music video. I recorded the sound to my phone and now have the PERFECT ringtone for my in-laws!!

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRamona

What I really want to see are pictures of the bride and groom riding in on their dirt bikes.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

And how could I neglect to say, wonderfully executed video John! Hope to see more of your mad video skills on future Cake Wrecks posts.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Thank you, Hubby. You might not have Jen's talent for writing; but this way of presenting cakes with a gradual perspective of horror. making us believe all of the elements were part of separate cakes before making us realize they're actually part of the *same* cakes, largely makes for it.

Sorry for my bad grammar, English is not my first language. Fortunately, I am not a baker.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAthena

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the woods.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered Commentercatspaw66

Well, there could be worse songs to have stuck in my head all day.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Are those wedding cakes or groom's cakes. The Groom's cake is kind of a wreck by definition. The brides must have been the anti-bridezilla to go along with those. However, for being a little on the trashy side the first cake is well done.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

The oh so classy Confederate States of Crazy

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJonathan

The Bud Light cake is surprisingly well done, actually. There's no accounting for taste, I suppose.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

WTH? Did they ASK for that?

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterwordphreak

For Lorie's edification, Sundrop is NOT considered "generic pop" round these parts. It is a recognized brand name, and ain't nobody drink no "pop" 'round here, stranger. {dead-eyed stare}

(To be fair, I dislike Sundrop intensely, nor am I originally from 'round these parts neither.)

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

"Improved" from what? I had to go put a sweater on; these things gave me chills. I had nightmares after seeing the movie "Deliverance". I don't recall any wedding scenes in that movie, but these cakes would've fit in like crossed eyes on a toothless redneck.=^-.-^=
[I'm a little confused about the "disaster planet" video/ad; What are they selling?Volcano insurance?]

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

My mother was born in Selma, Alabama. She was the eldest of nine "chillens" (I have heard them referred to that way, more than once). Her middle name is Mae, a middle name she shares with her only sister, Charlene, (I do not lie). Her brothers are Earl, Elton, Conrad, Lars (he's the schizophrenic one who hasn't spoken to anyone in the last ten years; again, true), Karl Jr., Ricky, and Matthew.

My father was born in Snohomish, Washington; he joined the Air Force and was posted to North Carolina where he met my mother while she was in nursing school. She fell in love with the "dam' Northerner" and married, partially to escape, I strongly believe. She married him and moved to Washington, even though she was offered a house and a set of dishes not to. When I was seven, we went back (for a reunion; they're a BIG DEAL in the South); Daddy was not called by his right name once--he was called "Lily Mae Green's great-grand-daughter's Yan-KEEEE (siggghh) husband".

I believe I'm going to call her up and thank her.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

In bad taste, but the one with the muddy couple is cute in a strange way.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Instead of Sun Drop cake, it should've been "Stop that cake, son, and back away slowly! No sudden mixing, and nobody gets hurt!"

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

@SaraCVT, sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. I'm glad your mom didn't stay for the dishes.

These cakes are class with a capital "K" -- sigh. I have to admit, though, that "mud" was not my first thought on the splattered cake. O.o. <shudder>

john (thoJ), a hilarious post! You are truly the dueling banjo king!

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

Heck, this isn't God Bless America - it is God bless the Confederacy....

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

Can we say Redneck? My son wants to know why poop is flung all over the Bud Light cake. Brilliant video!

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJackieB

Made me squeal like a pig! You are missing a few dings

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTom

Do I REALLY want to start an Epcot bunker?

*shrugs*

Sure, I'm feeling ornery.

Even though the song is titled "Dueling Banjos", it is not two banjos, but a banjo and a guitar.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

Thank you @Alison, for saving me have to explain that Sun Drop ain't no trashy generic coke--the name for every carbonated drink around these parts. Nasty, nasty Sun Drop.

@SaraCVT, I greatly enjoyed your family history. It is very similar to mine, except the older members of my family have "chirren," and my mama took the dishes (we were too poor for anyone to have a house to offer).

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

SaraCTV, that sounds a lot like my stepmom's story! She was born in California, but moved to Arkansas when she was just a young thing. She got married when she was 18 or 19 and moved here to Washington state, where she and her children have lived ever since (and where she met my dad). She has a brother named Carl Wayne. I kid you not. Carl Wayne.
Her Southern accent has mostly been replaced by General American, but whenever she has a family reunion (like you said, big deal for Southerners), she starts twanging again.

But anyway... those cakes. Good God. Konfederated States of America. Keepin' it Klassy.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

Not so long ago there was a documentary on the BBC about how the Southern states have been portrayed in the media. It said that the man who wrote Deliverance was inspired by a canoeing accident of his own. But instead of hunting him down and sexually abusing him the locals were very kind and helpful. Of course that did'n't make for a great story so he twisted it to conform to popular prejudice about rednecks out in the woods who have been diving in the shallow end of the gene pool.

In case you are wondering the programme was made by Rich Hall who works as a comedian in both America and Britain and comes from the south himself. His main conclusion was that the image of the south in comics, film and tv is usually about 20 to 30 years behind what is actually happening on the ground.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStephen Barker

As someone who was born in Chicago, moved to Fl at the tender age of nine(further north, even then!!)and then relocated to SC by choice-and stay here by choice!!-I find there is nothing wrong with these cakes(except the Sundrop one-Sundrop=YUCK!!) As a matter of fact, I found myself thinking the Bud Light cake would have been appropriate for my Brother-and-sister-in-laws wedding. (Ours would have been Natural Light or quart moonshine jars!!!)Thank God neither one of the brothers saw these cakes before the weddings!!!

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterWildDuck

Chew tobacco, chew tobacco, chew tobacco, SPIT!

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

This sounds like something from my area of the country. We aren't southern as much as we are redneck. Hilarious!

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShelley in So. Illinois

The video is great. More more more!!!

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAbby

I'm with Trish. Probable cause....

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterColin M.

Now that just screams classy.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

That is so hilarious! As a cake decorator living in the Blue Ridge of VA (not by choice!), I am thinking I need to add these cakes to my album..I am sure the orders will start rolling in!! LOL.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRIni

I can't believe all of the Sundrop hate! I have lived in NC all my life and everyone in my family LOVES Sundrop!! I have actually taken it with me when I travel out of state!! I guess it is like grits...if you ain't from here, you just don't get it!!

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKelley

Well bless their little wreckorator hearts.

Although as that is used around these parts may violate the be nice and don't swear warning.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

James Dickey is remembered mostly for Deliverance, but he was an accomplished poet as well. I got to meet him once at a luncheon and he was already somewhat drunk! He ordered at least two more beers during lunch so I imagine he would have approved of the beer cakes.

I was worried he wouldn't be able to do his presentation for my group afterwards, but he did fine. He was nice, at least from what I got to know of him.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

I'm originally from Georgia, but I've been living in N.C. for just over a year now. Never heard of Sundrop before I moved here. I agree....yucky stuff! But some folks love it. Now Cheerwine on the other hand is great.....

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKemara

I'm Virginia born and bred, and I do NOT understand the deification of the Confederacy. What also baffles me is the folks who have both a Confederate flag and a US flag displayed together. Uh... you realize that you're showing support for both sides of a war, right? It would be like displaying a US flag and a Nazi flag together.

Sigh.

Most of the south is not like that, but the ones who are get the press. It's been that way for over 100 years, when the press started rigging up things like the Hatfield/McCoy feud in order to sell papers.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharonCville

@Sharyn- high five. Best comment of the day.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Oh, that flag. Will it ever be put away for good? Can't imagine a cake made to look like a confederate flag. You just keep boggling my mind with these cakes.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterdkzody

Well drat -- I can't view videos from work. So, since I can't join in the full fun, I'll just add my agreement to Athena that I loved how you did the gradual reveal -- you completely surprised and horrified me!

SaraCVT loved the story!

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

@SuBee. I totally said your "God bless 'Merica, God help the rest of us" in the voice of Dustin Hoffman's Dorothy from "Tootsie"! I don't know why but if just fits so perfectly! You made my cry! Bwwaaahahahaha!

John, brilliant, simply brilliant.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMovieMom

@Kelley, I am from here, born and raised, and still hate Sun Drop. I make the pest pan of grits you ever ate, and have corn bread baking in the oven right now. I'm all about the southern food, just not Sun Drop. Or, for that matter, confederate flag cakes.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

@johnthehubbyofJen: you have a way with words, all three of them.

@Sharyn: I see what you did there!

@SaraCVT: heehee

@Sandy: p-TING! (That's the sound of your spit hitting the spittoon)

@Kelley: the closest I come to being from the South is that I'm from the South of California. Grits I get (mmmmm, grits). Not so much these cakes.

The cakes actually look nice, minus the cans, the toilet, and the poo, of course.

February 26, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

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