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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
May152014

Copyright, Schmopyright

Obviously-Not-The-Character-You're-Thinking-Of©

is pleased to present an exciting new opportunity!

Bad Enough Baking School!

In just a few short weeks, you too can bake:

"Hell No Kitty!"

and other vaguely recognizable characters that are just Bad Enough to avoid pesky copyright litigation.

 

Haven't you always dreamed of turning out masterpieces like:

Iron Toaster

2 settings: Light or Stark.

 

Mickey Mumps

"Who's the leader of the club
With no immunity?
M-I-C-K-E-Y
Stay away from me!"

 

Buzzankhamun

Boy Pharaoh or Space Explorer?

Can't decide = indemnified!

 

Barney the Carnivore

I love meat, you smell good. Gonna eat your neighborhood! ♫

 

Scary-el

"I'd give anything to have legs so I could walk off this cake."

 

Dora the Deplorable

Brace yourself!

 

And that perennial favorite:

The Cat In Hazmat!

The sun did not shine.
It was too wet to play.
So we sat in the house
And watched the cat decay.

 

Bad Enough Baking School!
The ability we value most is plausible deniability.™
Apply Today!

 

I can't deny how thankful we are to Brad B., Johanna L., Jayme A., Clarissa W., Katey L., Stephanie D., Anony M., and Kristy C., for being good enough to realize these were bad enough.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

« More Confessions of a Master Baker | Main | Tonight at the Lucky Stardust Lounge »

Reader Comments (89)

Genius post. Best name: Buzzankhamun. Best face: Dora the Deplorable.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentergrrljock

OK, maybe I'm just getting used to seeing these cakes now, but the Buzz and Ariel cakes weren't that bad... Sure, Ariel's face was wrong, but the rest was pretty good!

Or, the others are just so bad that they lookedgood?

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer J

The Dora one looks like she's been crossed with Russell from Up. And a couple of Mayan glyphs for good measure.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlenxa

Obviously, that's Buzz Lightyear encased in carbonite--with a watercolor wash.

Tasty.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPhae

@mel ~ I'm so very glad you came to play today. This has been a really rough week. Can we please just skip Friday this week and move right on to Saturday? That'd be just great!

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

JoeMama, Lilies are a symbol of death or bereavement, so a "3-lily birthday" is one where you will feel sad or grief-stricken or possibly just aggrieved for at least 3 days afterward.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAA

You missed Mickey Mumps!

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentercupcake

Is it my imagination or does "Dora the Deplorable" look like Pepper from "American Horror Story: Asylum?"

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoaniebaloney83

Absolutely brilliant! Light or Stark, Mickey Mumps. My dog thinks I'm crazy!

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTanya

@Sharyn and @mel - Brilliant, as always! :D

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

@Sharyn and @mel - Brilliant, as always! :D

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermillbrit

To: Ima Schie-Sterr, Partner
Crooks and Crooks Law Firm

Thank you for your reply, and your advice concerning our architects. We are very much concerned about falling water, and have discussed this with our architect. He doesn’t seem too concerned, most likely because he is having domestic problems with his wife, and while they do not seem to get along very well, and his future hangs in the balance, he says , “I just can’t a leave her. It’s not my style.” When pressed further about the falling water issue, he just walks away muttering “dam it.” I am not sure he is capable of doing the right thing.

We would be pleased to send you a concrete offer in the hopes of cementing our deal. And I can assure you, our concrete offers are never half-baked, and are hard offers.

Concerning your current litigation, we may be of some assistance. We recently settled a similar case with the German baker, Herr Mousse. Ironically, the problem involved several Herr’s in the company. We brought in our German specialist, known as Moose because of his size. In discussing the issue, Moose covered all the Herr’s thoroughly, waited until it gelled with them, and then blew away their concerns. We combed the Herr’s, looking for kinks, but the Herr’s had none and easily fell into place. After this process the Herr’s said they felt taller, fuller, and more radiant. If I may say so, we were stylin’. I’m sure resolving your case will be a piece of cake.

We will prepare our offer and send it forthwith. Actually, we’ll send it with Forth, our courier. Please let us know when he arrives, so that we know the Forth is with you.

Sincerely,

Mr. Potato, Head Counsel
Tinker, Toys and Tops

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

I naturally assume any entrance fees for the Bad Enough Baking School would entitle the student to not only the instructional booklet "Cake Wrecks: when professional cakes go hilariously wrong" but with a beginners Pan-Wow baking pan? ;)

Almost choked on my popcorn reading this post & Mel's reply!

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMovieMom

@Jodee: I 'm so sorry your week has been rough. I'm sending good thoughts and hugs your way. Both are unlimited, so use as many as you need as often as you want. And here's hoping things get better quickly!

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

@Sandy-Brava!
Sharyn and Mel, you made my head spin (which made the cakes look normal!) so, thank you!

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Dora actually looks like Dora and Sponge Bob's love child.

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

No, not ready for Saturday. Saturday is mostly-moving day!

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Cat in the Hat looks like V For Vendetta

May 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEm

Lmao @mel and @Sharyn. Oh man I am dying of laughter at the posts alone. Those cakes should be illegal in all states though lol.

May 16, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Hubby reading over shoulder:
of Buzzunkhamun: "Well, that's not so bad, I've seen a lot worse." (Only because I show him Wrecks frequently.)
of Dora: "That baker has... um, skills." (I agree. Some of those skills are even related to sugar!)

May 16, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAA

@Blondie's Mom: No, you are not alone, though I expected our mermaid was selling "VitaSeafoodVegamin."

May 16, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie J

"Badenov Bakeries (Makers of fine “Mousse and Swirl” cakes since 1969) "

oh so many layers to this one. Well done ;)

May 16, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPam B

@Sharyn and @mel: You complete me.

May 16, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Mickey was actually 7/10....the face was pretty spot on like 9/10 but the cupcakes just ruined the effect.

May 16, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermandy_Reeves

@milbrit: you caught me off-guard, as I wasn’t planning on posting! I’m glad you enjoyed the results, and you got a bonus: Sharyn added a comment, and that prompted another response from Mr. Potato, Head Counsel.
@ MovieMom: Glad you liked the post, but sorry about the choking thing…. (That’s why the number one rule of CW is to never read it while eating or drinking…. Many of us have learned that the hard way…..)
@SuBee: You’re welcome…I think….(but if it made the cakes look normal, well, I guess that’s a good thing….). You’re too funny…!
@Arlene: Thank you, and I hope you’re OK….I don’t think we’ve ever had anyone die of laughter here before and I don’t want you to be the first. But, I’m glad you enjoyed the post, and appreciate your comment.
@lisadh: thank you so much for your supportive comment about “performance pressure.” It’s good to know that. And, thank you for your comment to Sharyn and me later; you’re too kind.
@Sharyn: What can I say? Not only did you write a brilliant post today, you were gracious enough to play in the comments – double brilliance! I appreciate your kindness in that. I am in awe of your ability to be both consistently and continuously creative and clever and funny, whether you write the main post or play in the comments. You are a gem, and we Wreckies are so glad you’re here. Thank you for being you.

May 16, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

That's not Hell No Kitty, that's Hermann the Albino Hamster, wearing sunglasses.

May 16, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I was showing these cakes to my 13 yr. old. He scrolled through each one and named the characters until he got to the last one. I asked: "Do you know who that is supposed to be?", he says: "It looks like Jack from Nightmare Before Christmas." I had to tell him it was "The Cat In The Hat". The sad thing is, after studying the cake for a second, I could see where he got that idea. lol

May 16, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterladiebugg

@AA Thanks for the clarification and it makes sense. I, too, would feel aggrieved for 3 days if I got that cake.

@ Mel Great to see Tinker, Toys & Tops is flourishing after their work on the Olympics. Hysterical comment as always. I'd love to take a vacation in your brain. It would probably be filled with more thrill rides than Six Flags.

May 16, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoeMama

I wouldn't have known what some of them are supposed to be. Are those rice checks on the "Ariel" cake?

May 16, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDis fan

That was the Cat in the Hat?! I thought it was zombie "Where's Waldo?" OMG!!!

May 16, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCorsetiere

@Joe Mama: Thanks for the kind comment. I don't know how those guys find work..... As for my brain...well, I'm not sure what's in there, but when I nod my head there's a rattling sound.....

May 16, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Both the post and the comments are just too, too funny!

And that Cat In Hazmat is fantastic, in a horrifying 'don't ever show this to kids' kind of way.

May 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMoe

Nope, definately the skull of Waldo. He was not found in time. And the Dora one would put me off Chicklets, if I didn't already dislike them.

May 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

The little mermaid looks like an spanic travestite.

May 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterfrench one

Light or Stark is one of the most hilarious things I've ever read. EVER!

June 6, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTeresa

The last cake is Waldo from Where's Waldo. Unfortunately it seems all the flesh has melted off his face...

July 5, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I think that last one is supposed to be Waldo. Who probably wishes he were hiding.

July 8, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRia

That cat in the hat looks like where's Waldo. Pretty sure it could be either, or both for that matter.

July 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLauren Lee

Looks like poor Mickey shouldn't of sat under that tree with that
Giant nest of very angry hornets in it. Also that Dora cake should be renamed " Dora la Fea" ( Ugly Dora)!

August 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

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