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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Mar202017

SPRING ME

It's the first day of Spring, minions, so forget the forecast, throw on some flip-flops, and break out the finger flowers!

AW YEAH FINGER FLOWERS.

(At least it beats a knuckle sandwich? Yes? No? Shall I show myself out?)

 

Yep, there's nothing like Spring flowers, with all their bountiful riots of color:

 

...and cheer:

 

...and color:

 

...and unintentional wangs:

Those are some flowers with serious... stamen-a.

(Pollination humor HEYOOOO.)

 

So whether you're currently freezing your daisy dukes off or cranking the A/C like a pansy, here's wishing you a very:

I think it's Dutch.

 

Thanks to Amy H., Heather B., Sara S., Mica, Ashley F., & Steven V. for putting the "zing" back in "Speinz." Or something. I dunno. Look, it's Monday. You're lucky I'm even HERE today.

*****

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« What Can I Say, Except, "You're Welcome"? | Main | Sunday Sweets: Beauty And The Best Cakes »

Reader Comments (32)

I'm in awe of the "Carrot Cutlass Wreath of Horror" border around the last one!

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCreativeKimmySue

Turn loose the naked Mohawk babies! I see unbridled carrots around that last cake!

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

That adorable bee cookie deserved to be in a Sunday sweets bouquet, and not that fleshy monstrosity. And although the brown roses were pretty well done, why make such a beautiful flower mud brown?!

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Double Dutch, more likely.

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterPetra

#3 let's us all know it's okay to have a cake for a tortoise funeral, with charming little reminders of what you had to clean up before it was no more, had ceased to be, expired and gone to meet its maker, become a late reptile ...

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAl the K

Pretty sure that first cake isn't keeping kosher, if you know what I mean.

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commenter3Davideo

At first I didn't see the wang shape on that CCC (patooie!), then I realized the shape came from the white frosting that was under the illustration and not the illustration itself. Ok.

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNathan R.

Those grey roses seem to blooming at the border of the flaming forest of death. I bet Westly knew how to survive that one too. ;)

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJake & Me

Was the last one trying to use coiled springs in the lettering of 'spring'?

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commentertricia

Why did they label the brown roses (ick) "Cupcake Critters"??

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBonnie B.

Technically... cement gray IS a color......

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterErica

:D Hoppy Spinz!! Those leech-y finger flowers are horrifyingly delicious.

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterdeb in atlanta

Do you pronounce that as "Speen squiggly' or 'Spine-squiggly' or 'S-quiggly-een-squiggly'? Maybe it needs an oomlout. At least they didn't try to spell Vernal Equinox.

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAdo_Annie

Dibs on the first one! SOLID ICING all the way down to the paper!!!

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Y'know, that top cake isn't too bad. An awful of icing for a cup cake, but a lot better than grey roses and - what is that? - caviar? on the second one down. Fish eggs and icing. Yum!

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

That carrot corral is mildly disturbing. And I can't say what the finger cupcake frosting appears to be. No, really, I can't say it.

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLee Ann

Must be the sinus infection making me loopy, but that last cake (and @CreatveKimmySue's commentary about it) made laugh until I cried!

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Number 1 isn't that bad - principally because of the purple bee.

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJane Lewis

Noooo maggots!!

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKbaann

It took me a while to get the "kosher" comment, but then it came to me.

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNanalettie

Cranking the AC like a pansy? It is 95 degrees here! Those are all seriously crazy cakes!

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRikki

I almost spit my drink at the "I think it's Dutch" line.

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJules

Happy Speinz everyone!

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKismet

That first one is nothing but uncut Wang.

March 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

I still think those fingers look more like long pig snouts surrounding the poor butterfly cookie which at first I thought was plastic flotsam lol. But the more I look the more snouts I see...eeeek.

March 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

"Fingers." Yeah. Right. ;)

They definitely aren't Kosher!

March 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

That stamen-a pun was *awful*! I'm afraid I'll have to place you under arrest.

*draws pistil*

March 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

As a Dutch, I do not understand the last one. Oddly curved carrots and squiggly messy writing doesn't scream Dutch to me.

March 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJoyce

I just had a baby boy so #1 immediately hit me as THE WORST gender-reveal pastry in the history of EVER.

March 21, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterohboy

@Joyce: I think it's the foreign-seeming "Speinz" that throws it into Dutch territory. Or German. (Hungarian?)

And is it just me, or do the finger flowers look more like maggots than appendages? Giant, squishy, horrifying maggots.

March 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAbby

Plastic bee. And I can't decide whether it's on a bed of baby sandworms (Dune), baby Go'a'ould (Stargate) or albino those creepy caterpillars that form a heads down scrum and slap their tails (We call them Spitfires) http://www.brisbaneinsects.com/brisbane_sawflies/images/DSC_5197n.jpg

March 21, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSerinde

Fleurs du mal!

March 24, 2017 | Unregistered Commentertully monster

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