Sometimes I feel like a cake archeologist, minions. I inspect the clues, sift through the remains, and try to figure out what happened in the past.
Something terrible has happened here.
Some events are pretty straightforward:
The old "ran out of icing" story.
There's also the classic "Too lazy to change the icing tip after piping the border":
Or its variation, "Too lazy to change the icing tip after piping the roses":
Here we see evidence of significant toothpick scraping, often indicative of the "I'm Not Even Supposed To Be Here" dynasty of the Mid-Graduation era:
You know that thing in restaurants where everyone is singing Happy Birthday to some stranger three tables over, and you all just mumble your way through the name part?
This is that, in cake form:
Sadly some mysteries will never be solved. Instead we'll be left to forever wonder... the 5th what?
I think I've cracked the code on this next one, though. Here's a recreation of the ACTUAL EVENTS, as played by hired actors in my head:
"What do you mean, 'last minute?' Of course we custom-ordered your cake, Miranda! Weeks ago! This was totally planned!"
While we'll never know for sure what happened to wrecks of the past, one thing is certain: the longer you look at this one, the funnier it gets:
(I wonder who did the bigger spit-take: me or the baker.)
Thanks to Tex, Betsy P., Diamond, Philip L., Allison P., M.R., Lauren P., Miranda, & Kelsie L. for digging these up.