My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Breaking Up is Heart To Do

Don't you hate it when Valentines Day rolls around and you're still stuck with that person you kept meaning to break up with, but then they made you a sandwich and you forgot?

So now you have to get that person a Valentines cake, but you don't want to go overboard with the whole mushy sentiment or effort or anything?

Well, never fear, callous jerks! The bakeries of America are here to help.

Of course, there's always the obvious way:

...but suppose you want something a little more subtle to break things off?

Not to worry; you have options.


For the biology major:

"Rrrrrippit! Rrrrip out your heart and throw it against the wall! And then rearrange your intestines into a LARGER heart so I can trample THAT, too!"


Or, for a message with a little more meat to it:

There's a "steak through the heart" joke in here somewhere, I just know it.


How about a little poetry?

Field of excrement
Surrounding a shattered heart:
Evidence crack kills


Now, I know what you're thinking:

That's just offal.


Here's a cake that really says, "Your love turns me upside down!"

That, or "You're an ass!"

One of the two, anyway.

Guess which one I'm going with.


And speaking of "buttering" her up, fellas, have you considered the new "rear view" pendant that's all the rage this year?

Why, you cheeky little devil, you.


Thanks to Sarah H., Caitlin F., Madlyn D., Terri G., Heidi K., & Marc S. for the heart to heart.


Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Felony

We here at Cake Wrecks care deeply about Bakery Copyright Infringement. (BCI) So to avoid any unpleasant legal entanglements, and allay the concerns of you -- our valued readers -- allow us to present:


 (All characters depicted in “Obviously-not-the-character-you’re-thinking-of”© are original characters created by their respective bakers. Any similarity to any character, living or dead, real or fictitious, cute or creepy, liberal or conservative, is merely coincidental, and shame on you for thinking otherwise. Characters depicted herein are the sole property of “Obviously-not-the-character-you’re-thinking-of”©, and may not be duplicated without the express written consent of “Obviously-not-the-character-you’re-thinking-of”©. Violators will be prosecuted.) 


She's welcoming! She's feline! She's...

How Are You Cat!

(“Hello, kiddies!”)


Looking for something for your train-crazy little boy? He's just like your favorite train character, but he's obviously not your favorite train character, since making a cake of your favorite train character would be technically illegal! He's...

Larry the Liquid-Carrying Locomotive!

(Wow! That’s one tanked engine! You can see how original he is, right?

Aw, c’mon. Don’t be such a Doubting Thomas.) 


Ooh! Wait a minute! Who's this sexy -- but completely unrecognizable -- little blue fictional character with blonde hair? That’s not Smurfette, is it?

Of course not! Because that would be Against The Smurfin' Law!

She's "Smurpette" and she's totally different!

"Why don't you take your smurpin' smurp and smurp it where the smurp won't smurp, Smurpes?!"

(See? Totally different!)


 He's concerned for your well-being and he's a bear. He's a...

Concerned For Your Well-Being Bear!

(Be kind; he has many cares to bear. )


And finally, this absolutely unique character lives in a pie tin beneath the waves, and he’s safe for your non-stick pots and pans! He's...

Squeeze Blob No-Scratch!

(Anybody have some spare pants?)


Just remember, bakers: When in doubt, eat the evidence.


“Our bad judgment makes us judgment proof.”™


Thanks to Beth W., Caitlin P., Cheryl V., Jen M., Dixie, and a very VERY special thanks to Sharyn, one of our favorite commenters and today's guest collaborater. If you laughed especially hard at any of our lines today, it's probably her fault. Thanks, Sharyn!