My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

When "Falker Satherhood" Is Just Too Wordy

So, how do you tell your dad how much you appreciate him this Sunday?

Well, hopefully not like this:

"Fatters Day is kind of like Father's Day, only for fatties. So - and think carefully before you answer this - would you like a slice of cake, Dad?"

The moral here is if you add enough shredded coconut, no one will notice you wrote "Happy Fathday's Day."

Of course, if you do write it wrong, the good news is you can always fix it:


Oh, hey! If your father's dad is named George, then this next one almost makes sense!

What? I said "almost."

Now, brace yourself for my famous Goldmember impression in 3..2..

"My farza is toit loyk uh toyger! Schmoke and a pancake?"

[bowing] Thank you. Thank you very much.

Or, if you want to take it one step "ferther":

Ah, how I yearn for the day when I'll have a title* worthy of all-cap block letters.


"Fine, thanks."

"Gerald, have you met HER SUPREME CAKEY SNARK PERSON? She's quite snarky, you know."

"Yes, yes, I've known HER SUPREME CAKEY SNARK PERSON for years!"

Ok, so the actual title needs work, but I rather like it. Especially since it would give the impression that everyone talking about me has Tourette's.

Thanks to Anony M., Brenda Jo, Jessica I., Kristen R., Kristina, & Toni S. who ARE ALL AWESOME PEOPLE.

*Update from john: As far as we can tell, this cake was not made for a Haitian dictator.


Ties That Bind

Ah, neck ties. Those glorious, generic "Dad" gifts that men have enjoyed - nay, cherished! - since the invention of clothing. After all, what can make you feel more alive than a silk noose around your neck signifying lifelong membership in the greater corporate collective? Hmmm?

And, naturally, when it comes to getting dad a cake on his special day, bakers sure know how to please:

They, uh, also appear to have a rather low opinion of dads' fashion sense.

Or maybe they've read that a lot of men are at least partially colorblind, and decided Dad wouldn't notice:

I'm calling it: yellow and beige is the most disgusting color combination known to man.

Or maybe they think we were all raised in the circus.

"To Dad, Our Favorite Bozo."

Hey, remember that time Dad said his new tie from Aunt Edna looked like crap?

Well, they've got a cake for that, too!

The sprinkles really sell it.

Of course, then there are the bakers who've never actually seen a tie...

...but wouldn't think of letting that stop them.

But my friends, it doesn't have to be this way.

Just say "no" to tie cakes! Say "no" to boring clich├ęs! Instead, go with creativity! Go with quality! Go with...

...a flaming Quidditch Snitch riding a unicycle on a tank top cake!


You're welcome, fathers everywhere.

Many tanks to Anne J., Luli M., Vanessa B., Denise M., Zoe I., & Becky T. for getting all tied up on our behalf. [mrowr]

Oh, and a belated "epi briday" to Dorothy "big deal" M. Nappy blob blob, Dor!