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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Aug032010

A Seedy Celebration

It's National Watermelon Day.

FINALLY.

And you know what that means, right?

Time to buy a cake.

Do those look like minnows? Just a tad, Pole.

(No, I've never met anyone named "Pole" before, either. But - BUT - John is Polish. So...um...maybe I sometimes affectionately refer to him as "Pole," ok? You don't know. Look, bottom line: just WORK WITH THE PUN, people, ok? Work...with the pun.)

So, how can YOU celebrate National Watermelon Day?

With healthy stuff, of course!

You know, like oil-soaked Cheetos:


Erm. Wrong oil.

Or a traditional "ICU" Melon:

Don't make me call Gallagher, punk.

Or perhaps some exotic plant life:

"FEED ME, SEYMOUR!"


Or, um, vampire ants?

"Vlad! Mortimor! Pull out! Ve've sucked 'er dry!


Teresa, Emily B., Beth, Missy M., & Erica H., I think I'm going to need a "Beware Mortimor the Vampire Ant" t-shirt. Can any of you do something about that?

>:= <--That's my vampire ant emoticon. You like?

Monday
Aug022010

Battle of the Beach

{We now return to your favourite underwater crime series, "Crab Cakes: Ocean Justice"}

{sobbing} "Help! Help!"

 

 

"Dr. Octopus is back! And his shenanigans are more evil than ever!"

 

"Mwuaah haa haa! You'll never stop me! I may have lost six legs in the last battle, but I'll never lose the power to DESTROY YOU!!"

"Stop right there, partner!"

 

"Nobody messes with the Sheriff of Crabtown."


Little did the Sheriff know, he was about to meet Doc Oct's gang of corrupt cephalopod cohorts straight from Squid Roe:

 

Mr. Blue...

"Dress sharp, kill clean."

 

 

The Twins...
{in unison} "We're adorable and ready to ink."

 

 

And Crazy Lou!
"WwwhhaaaLLAA OOOAaAaaHHhhH!"

 

 

Gulp.
""Don't worry, Sheriff. I, Professor Knowsitall, am writing up a sneaky plan to destroy the Evil Octopodes once and for all! First, we'll lead them down to the beach using cunning tactics."

 

 

"Then, we'll all stop shaving our armpits...

"Ya know, to appear more intimidating."

 

 

"Lastly, we'll disguise ourselves as footballs and hurl each other at them in an all-out ambush!"
"Now that's a pinch-hitter!"
(Oh, that's baseball? Whatever. No need to be crabby!)
Stay tuned for our next episode where Crabtown gets hit with a tidal wave! Will the Sheriff make it out alive? What happened to little Jake? And who took all the suntan lotion? Rolling credits: Jessica, Mauri T., Laura F., Carrie S., Kristy S., Jessica H., Carolann, Gabrielle W., Naomi, Beth W., Amanda, and Megan C.

 

Note from Jen: I have to add that the second to last crab reminds me of my favorite poem: "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning." That is all.