My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Wrecks Which Shall Not Be Named

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who know Harry Potter 7 is opening this weekend, and those who couldn't give a flying wrackspurt.

Now, since John is a HUGE Potter geek (and I'm only a regular-sized one), it makes sense for him to write today's Potter post. However, to make today's commentary enjoyable for all our readers, I, Jen, will be providing muggle-friendly translations.

Take it away, John!

Wow. I'd say I'm too proud to let this Wreckerator take me for a ride with this wreck, but that might seem...hippogriffical.

Heh. Aheh. Heh.

TRANSLATION: A "hippogriff" is half horse, half eagle. Kind of like this cake is half airbrush, half blobby bits, and half cardboard. Also, I stink at math. But that's not part of the translation.

What's that, John? Hurry up? Oh. Ok. I'm done. Carry on.

Professor Flitwick was not amused.

TRANSLATION: Short joke.

Cor! Has Professor Trelawney been foreseeing something GRIM here? [chortle]

TRANSLATION: See, Trelawney sometimes has the gift, which is the ability to prophesy, and there's this legendary creature called The Grim, and...uh..


It's a fortune teller joke.

Moving on.

On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give this wreck a 9 3/4.


TRANSLATION: Fractions are [jazz hands] maaaagical.


No, that was not me being sarcastic. You wanna see me being sarcastic? Ask me how I like your flip-flops.

[more whispering]

Well, where *do* you want to have this conversation? Because seriously: we need to talk about those flip-flops.

"What has it got in its pocketses!?!"

Well, it's either a green donut on a wand, or he's REALLY happy to see you.

TRANSLATION: Unnecessary. (I hope.)

Here we have a classic case of "Abracadabra" vs "Avada Kedavra:"

TRANSLATION: Muggle magic is to top hats and rabbits what wizard magic is to blowing your roof off. Word.

And finally....

[stunned silence]

TRANSLATION: That was a stunned silence.

Elizabeth C., Kala M., Holly E., Audrey B., Becca T., Rebecca J., here's hoping these wrecks were magically delicious!


Engaging Wrecks

Impending nuptials are a great cause for cakey celebration. Much like the word "nuptials." (Am I the only one who thinks "nuptials" sounds kinda funny? Nuptials. NUPtials. NupTIals. NUPTIALS.)

At least this Wreckerator knows how to work the word in all smooth-like:

At first I thought that said, "Our Nuptial Hovr Draur on A pace." Then I realized it's supposed to say, "Our Nuptial Hour Draws on Apace." Which is a line from Shakespeare, so out of respect for all my English teacher friends, I won't make fun of it. Even if it IS said to someone named (I am not making this up) "Hippolyta."

ANYway.... the real problem is the line is just too old-fashioned. Remember, yesterday's "nuptial hour draws on apace," is today's "Cong's!"

See? It's a "you say tomato, I say tomato" kind of thing.

Wait. I just realized that saying doesn't work in writing.

Ok, potato, potato.

(Dang it!)

Look, the important thing is that your sentiment be truly heartfelt:

And that you use your clich├ęd clip art judiciously:

"Dang it. I ran out of room before I could use the champagne flutes surrounded by streamers!"

And most importantly, never complain about foot ailments while ordering:


Thanks to Wreckporters Carrie C., Ang H., Connie P., Lis, & Dana, who know that, when in doubt, you spell it in all caps.

STUFF UPDATE: Due to popular demand, we now have pins for sale! We're still in a trial run, so be sure to tell me which styles you like, which you'd like to see changed or nixed, and which you'd like to see us make in the future!