My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Sam's Club

Frequently, a bakery will receive a kit of plastic flotsam to construct a cakey character. This past week, the character of choice has been dear old Uncle Sam. Or at least, I think it has.


As a reminder, here's Uncle Sam:


Cake, you say? Your wish is my command, Sammy!




Pinstripes have never been more slimming.
Why, you can practically see right through him!


I was unaware that Uncle Sam had access to my grandfather's closet:


Remember: The higher you hike your pants, the more you love America!

Here Uncle Sam stars (and stripes) in "Red, White, and You!: A Musical"

Aaand...Jazz hands! Kick, ball, change... kick, ball, change...



Sweet Betsy Ross' ghost, are those cannonballs in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?


Ug, I can't look at these wretched CCC's any longer. I need to see a real cake that actually looks somewhat like the famous personification of our Federal Government, Uncle Sam. C'mon, bakers!



A Shih Tzu wearing a popcorn bucket. Wow.
God Bless America.



You know, Asia P, Shelley B., Kayla T., Jordan J., and Beckie, that last cake could also be rock guitarist Buckethead, famous for shredding out tunes while sporting a Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket on his head. Hey, I smell a conspiracy! Or maybe just too much icing...




What's Our Name? And What Are We Celebrating?

Yesterday we came together as a nation to celebrate. What we were celebrating depends on which bakery you visited.

This one is really fond of "Ame:"

The good news is that this is a "display only" cake. So your cake probably won't look like this.
It'll be much, much worse.

Here's a bakery that appreciates blue bananas and dive-bombing banana spiders:

Yellow Spider: "Cowabungaaa!!!"

Blue Banana: "Spiders. Why does it always have to be spiders?"

Of course, most bakeries went with the traditional "Redesign the American Flag" contest:

See, when you put the blue bit in the middle, it's more balanced.

Another option:

Because stripes are so last century.

Then there was the slightly less popular but still wildly successful "Redesign America" contest:

All these years, and I had no idea I was living in a giant uvula.

And finally, there were the bakeries who didn't know what they were celebrating any more than their customers did.

Today doesn't need yesterday OR tomorrow. Yeah. So there.

Either that plastic flag is upside down, or this is a really patriotic volcano/mushroom cloud. Or - OR - the American version of the eye of Sauron: the eye of Sam, maybe? Eh? Eh? Bwahahahaaa!

Hm? No, actually, I didn't get much sleep last night. Why do you ask?

Free dome enjoys ringing. Free dome wants to ring.
So let the dome ring, man. Let it ring.

Thank goodness wreckporter Gina asked this bakery what "4ID" stood for.

Can you guess what the answer was?

Hah, no, after that. And then after, "I don't know, let me ask my manager?"

If you guessed "For Independence Day," then you either text too much or manage this bakery. Or, possibly, both.

Sally B., Ariel L., Elizabeth J., Leslie J., Rebekah W., Laura T., Beth H., Jaela N., Dawnan H., & Gina P., gr8 w!