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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Aug192008

Celebrity Wrecks

Sure, they're rich, famous, and always get to fly first-class. But guess what? They get Wrecks, too.



These "olives" (in honor of Kristin's character Olive on Pushing Daisies) aren't too bad, but the bakery decided to make a nicely symmetrical pair instead of the single olive requested. I simply cannot imagine why. [wink]


This was made for the 10th anniversary of P Diddy's record label Bad Boys. Given the caliber of that lil' homeboy elephant-baby on top, though, I could have sworn it was for a baby shower.


"This cost me how much?"

The Hulk's family recently celebrated how "greatful" they were for their son Nick.

And the "Unbelievably Insensitive" award goes to...

...whoever thought it was a good idea to remind 10-year-old Bindi that she doesn't have a father anymore. On her birthday. (The most un-funny Wreck I have ever witnessed, folks.)

And last but not least, guess whose sweet sixteen cake this was?

That's right: it was for our very own crotch-grabbing soprano himself, Michael Jackson. Because every 16-year-old boy dreams of having a giant wicker basket of roses on his birthday cake. [shaking head] I don't know about you guys, but I'm starting to feel a whole new sympathy for MJ. I mean, who knows what kind of cake trauma was inflicted here?

So, dear readers, the next time you bring home your misspelled and/or tragically decorated Wreck, be comforted by the fact that even fame and riches would not have spared you. Cakey wreckitude truly does unite us all. :)

Thanks to Annika W., Emily R., Holly Z., Hel E. for the pics, and to the many readers who sent me the Hogan link.


Sunday
Aug172008

"Cake" Cruelty

Ladies and gentlemen of the cake community, I come to you today with a matter of grave concern to us all.

Allow me to present exhibit A:


These seemingly innocent "cakes" are instead a threat to all the sugary goodness we hold dear. Observe:


Once sliced, you will note that these "cakes" are not cakes at all. Instead, they are layers of various meat and mayo-based salads, bread, and then - here's the worst part - "iced" with cream cheese. Note how the creators of these twisted impostors then push the deception even further by decorating the "cakes" with little roses, vines, and piped borders.

I ask you, fellow carb-lovers, are we to allow such cake defamation to stand? Will we sit idly by while our children and grandchildren are subjected to cakes that are not cakes? And if so, what next? Liverwurst doughnuts? Tuna-filled eclairs? Meat pies? (Oh, wait...)

Nay, I say, nay! We shall rise up, and as one declare that our butter cream icing must remain unsullied, our baked goods pure in sugar. Join me, and together we can make our world a place of fat, sugar, and dairy-based products for all!

Melissa P., thanks for calling my attention to this adjusted unjust injustice. (Seashell-Selling She, eat your heart out.)