Spring DOOM!!!

This spring, terror has a new name:

SCREAMING BLOOD-SOAKED LAGOMORPH RECKONING OF DOOOOOM

With everything you've come to expect from a low budget, Easter-themed horror movie! 

Including:

Idiotic, overly testosterone-laden frat boys:

  "There's old blood and creepy hooks hanging everywhere in this abandoned house that's miles from anywhere - so let's check out the basement! Shyah!"

Gratuitous nudity:

"OMG Jill, we should go skinny dipping!"

That one guy with common sense who always dies at the beginning:

"Guys, this is a really bad idea. Why don't we just get in the car and leave? It's right over there!Jill, put your clothes back on! Well, I'm leavinaaaaauuuuuugggghhhhh!!!!"

Those freaky long-limbed creatures that crawl on ceilings:

NOPE. Nope. Nope-nope-nope-nope!

And of course, creepy two-headed chicks:

 "Come play with us.

"We'll play ... chicken."

So this Easter, hop on over ...

... FOR A KILLING.

.... F

ROM

A CREEPY COW/SHEEP/BUNNY ... THING.

UM.

YEAH. 

Thanks to Geneva W., Kathleen L., John B., Michelle L., Alyssa T., Anne B., & Lisa F. for the basket case ... OF HORROR. 

(Ok, so today wasn't the best pun day. WHAT.)

Ode to Spring

With apologies to Peter, Paul, and Mary.

 ****

Where have all the flowers gone?

I'm just asking!

Where have all the flowers gone?

I'd like to knooow

Where have all the flowers gone?

Bakers have wrecked them every one!

Oh when will we ever learn?

Oh when will weeee...

...ever learn?

 And where has comprehension gone?

I'm just asking!

Does anything here strike you wrong?

I'd like to knooooow.

Where has comprehension gone?

It's literally no fun!

But bakers, have no concern

We like that youuuu...

... never learn.

Thanks to Allison W., Mandy G., Julie G., Beth Ann C., Jenn G., Will E., Anna B., Dana G. & Anony M., for the literal ear worm.

(Ew.)

*****

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