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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Apr292014

5 Times It Didn't Pay To Be Polite

Some people think common courtesy is dead. To these people I say, "Hey, do you mind? I CAN'T HEAR THIS PHONE CONVERSATION OVER THE MOVIE WHILE YOU'RE SHUSHING ME."

(Yes, I'm joking.)

(I have exceptionally good hearing.)

 

And bakers, it seems, are especially bewildered by a simple "please" or "thank you:"

Aww, it's almost sad; the baker missed her own thanking!

 

I say "almost" sad because after you realize how often this happens...

It gets kinda funny.

 

Text reads: "Happy Birthday Melissa! Thank you much."

 

This "thank you" threw the baker SO badly she tried to cope with random question marks:

Happy Birthday Barbara!?
?Thanks!

You can almost picture her writing this, sobbing, "What does it mean? WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEAAN???"

 

And if you use BOTH "please" and "thank you" there's a real chance you could do permanent damage to your baker. So please, be responsible. Don't let this happen:

Then again, that's no excuse to be rude, either.

And trust me, it doesn't help anyway:

 

Thanks to Nicole P., Stephanie R., Melissa S., Nathan B., Lindsay W., & J.R. for being so easy to please.

*****

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Monday
Apr282014

Confessions Of A Master Baker

Welcome to another installment of...

Confessions of a Master Baker!
"Ordinary bakers. Extraordinary feats of bad judgment."


[baker's silhouette speaking in disguised voice]
"I guess I got a bit carried away with the chocolate drizzle -- you know, it's always a bit of a crap shoot..."

"I made my mother-in-law deliver it."

 

[whispered] Confessions...

 

"...and then I found myself smashing a disco ball on top of it."

 

[small sob] "I figured the lights would blind anyone who got too close!"

 

[whispered] Revelations...

 

"They loved skiing. Nothing says 'skiing' like giant plastic pickles and shredded Parmesan, right?" [hiccups]

"I didn't realize how bad it was 'til the bride threw it at me."

 

[whispered] Disclosures...

 

"They said they wanted 'steampunk,' so I googled it. Gears, tentacles, balloons - I was all, 'Hey, I got this.'"

"And, boy, did I get it."

 

[sound of pages flipping]
Uh...
ah!
[whispering] Formal professions of guilt...

 

"So then I said, 'hey, you know what'd be cute? Camouflage butterflies."

"But the bride just didn't see it."

 

Next week... on Confessions of a Master Baker:

"So I figured, put the babies ON the carrots..."

[light behind figures fades to black]

 

Thanks to Jessica W., Michelle B., Melanie J., Stella P., & Natalie S. for the delicious divulgences.

*****

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