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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jan192012

I Got Your Back, PA

An Open Letter to the Internet from the Residents of Southern Pennsylvania

 

Dear Internet,

What did we ever do to you?

We are a region of good, decent, hard-working Americans and prized rutabaga growers* who always try to do right by our fellow man.

And how do you repay us? By staging protests! By telling the government to shelve us! By blocking our favorite cute cat picture websites with big "STOP SOPA" signs!

It's enough to make us think you don't like the area with the world's most colorful collection of soap shavings.*

Motto*: "It's good clean fun!"

 

Did you know your underwear was probably made with cotton from OUR* cotton fields?

 

 

And did you know that our official* tri-county* flower*, the Dryerious Lintitude*, has been hailed* by the scientific community* as a "marvel of nature?"*

That's right: a MARVEL OF NATURE*. Just try and stop THAT, internet.

 

Look, we SOPA residents are reasonable people. We don't want to hold a grudge over some obvious misunderstanding - and already you've given us a hip new acronym for next year's tourism brochures!

So what do you say we start fresh? We'll forget this whole "down with SOPA" business, and YOU can come visit the birthplace of Hannah Montana*!

It's a win-win!

 

*Sorry, Wikipedia was down yesterday.

Thanks to Michael S., Justin D., Anna D., & Karyn D. for helping me drag out a joke for five whole wrecks. Next I'll be writing** a letter on behalf of People In Pennsylvania - stay tuned!

**Just kidding. I'll make John do it.

Tuesday
Jan172012

Terribly Inappropriate

A few of you are aware that today is a kind of milestone for me, since it's the day John and I planned many months ago to end this blog.

I'm happy to report this is not goodbye, however. You'll be stuck with me - bad puns and all - for a while longer at least.

So, to celebrate the fact that absolutely nothing noteworthy is happening here today, allow me to present something really inappropriate:

See? It's seasonally inappropriate!

[head tilt] Er...among other things.

And really, wouldn't "Happy HooHoo" sound better? Or did the baker realize - as I just did - that that sounds like a new feminine hygiene product?

"Happy HooHoo: for all your salsa-dancing/horseback-riding/splashing-through-the-ocean-surf needs. Because you totally do those things. If you're a REAL woman."

 

Ok, that veered into unexpectedly inappropriate places. Sorry. Let's stick with seasonal impropriety, shall we? You know, like this:

"Hey. I'M UP HERE."

Something something dairy-free! Haha!

Feels good to get that off my chest.

The nuts, I mean.

The CRUSHED nuts, I mean. Jeez. Get your mind out of the gutter already. It's getting crowded in here.

 

Ok, forget seasonally inappropriate: this is just plain wrong.

HOLY UNFORTUNATE STEM PLACEMENT, BATMAN.

Well, maybe more logs than stems...

[rimshot!]

 

Thanks to Megan H., Dion H., & Katie B. from the bottom of my peach.