My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Wrecks Without Question

I know bakers get odd requests from time to time. Inside jokes, nicknames, stuff that makes no sense - they see it all. Still, you'd think there comes a point when a baker looks at a scrawled order form and asks herself, "Gee, is it more likely they wanted 'happy BIRTHDAY,' or 'happy BAIRTH?'"

Now, I know what you're thinking.

"Jim," you're thinking, because you've once again forgotten my name and now apparently my gender as well, "Jim, don't be so gosh durn silly." (You're also from the South.) "'Bairth' isn't even a word! So obviously NO baker would EVER...uh..."

[raised eyebrows] You were saying?

Or how about this: you get a cake order for a little girl. She wants a bunch of little chocolate mice on the border, all surrounding one that 'mouse' written there? It kind of looks like 'mouse.' Definitely M-O-U-something. So, do you assume mouse? Or do you go with this?


Now you're thinking that this would never happen to you. "I'd write the order clearly!" you yell to the heavens. (Two words, dude: less coffee.) "Then I'd tape Post-it Notes to the order form showing them exactly where I want the text, so there's no WAY they can wreck it up!! Haha!"

Not bad, not bad. Sounds like a good plan.


What if they take your handy-dandy Post-its, copy them, and then paste them on the cake?

Aha! I see from your stunned expression that thought hadn't struck you yet.

Brace for impact.

That's Wreckerator: 3, Customer: 0.

Well played, Wreckerators. Well played.

Anna H., Helen, & Janice H., you might try asking for a Wreck. I've seen several of those wrecked into being a pretty decent-looking (and correctly spelled!) cake. It's like a wreck to the second power! Totally meta.


The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman Head

Last week, we left our courageous cranium in the grips of the Evil Dr. Irving Expector Ant and his band of Belliger Ants. Will our hero escape? Or will the city of Metropolis be overrun with outrageous outlaws most...malignANT? Let's find out, as we continue with...

The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman Head!!!


Ant minion #1: "Haha! We've got you now, Spiderman Head!

Dr. Expector Ant: "Yes, and when we're through with you, there won't be any body for the police to find! Mwahaha! Right, boys?"

Ant minion #2: "Well, obviously, boss. He doesn't *have* a body."

Dr. Expector Ant: "Silence! I kill you!!"

Ant minion #3: "Um. now a good time to ask for a promotion?"

Ant minion #1: "Hey, where'd Spiderman Head go?"

Dr. Expector Ant: What?!? He's escaped?

Meanwhile, our bravely balancing brain bowl bounced his way to freedom!

"My trusty spider-bot ought to crash their party. Ha! So long, ignorANTS!"

With the persistent pest population handled, Spiderman Head heads home for some much-needed family time:

"G'nite, Mom, g'nite, Dad!"

"Goodnight, Son."

"G'nite, Uncle Sherb!

"Uncle Sherb?

"Da-aad! I think we brought the football in instead of Uncle Sherb again."

"Don't worry, son, we'll get him out of the yard in the morning."

Little did Spiderman Head know that his brother Sherb was NOT in the yard, but rather in the grips of the maniacal madman, Monochromatic Max!

"Aaaauuugh!! Help me, Spiderman Head!"

Will our noteworthy noggin' notice his brother's absence in time?!? Or will Uncle Sherb be doomed to a colorless demise?

Tune in next week for the thrilling continuation of...

The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman Head!!

Thanks to Wreckporters Tim H., Stephanie Z., Margaret R., Carolina D., & Amy H. for helping me get ahead.

Update from john: Spiderman Head is the Amazing Spider-Man's nephew. In an act of teenage angst, he de-hyphenated his name and moved to Metropolis where he currently works with Super-Man Head.