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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Dec112012

The Blizzard of Odd

It's only two weeks 'til Christmas, bakers. Quick! THROW PLASTIC CHRISTMAS FLOTSAM ON EVERYTHING!

Oh come on, man. PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT!

 

That's better.

 

Now, go make some cupcake cakes {PATOOIE!} that defy all laws of logic and common sense. DO EEET!

 

Yessss, and use sprinkles instead of colored icing! GENIUS!

 

I don't know what's happening here, but I like where your head's at.

 

Ok, now make a Christmas King Cake, because it's been WAY too long since those things got me in trouble:

 

Of COURSE you can still use the purple sprinkles and little plastic baby, silly! It's a King Cake! But for Christmas! AND THIS MAKES TOTAL SENSE!

 

Now pass the eggnog, and let's go flash people on the street with our ugly Christmas sweaters for tinsel!

WHOAH THERE, St. Nick. I said flash our sweaters!

And you call yourself a saint. REALLY.

 

 

Thanks to Daisy B., Andrea J., Ginny V., Lizz, Holly H., & Christine V. for the cup of holiday crazy.

Monday
Dec102012

Torte Reform

The FDA has issued strong new warnings about the serious side effects caused by cake wrecks.

If you, or someone you know, has been injured by a cake wreck, call the Law Offices of Ann B'Lance-Chaser today!

Because I'm a lawyer. It says so right here on my gavel.

 

Side effects of cake wrecks can include:

Confusion.

 

Nausea.

 

Erectile Dysfunction.

 

Vision loss.

 

Crankiness.

 

And whiplash.

That's right, whiplash:

"My birthday cake was so ugly I did a double double-take and hurt my neck. Ann B'Lance-Chaser got me 3 dozen cupcakes!* THANKS, ANN B'LANCE-CHASER!"

Don't delay! Call Ann B'Lance-Chaser, and get YOUR just desserts.

*Actual award was 5 dozen cupcakes. A 40% contingency fee will be assessed on all edible settlements. Fifty percent if chocolate is involved.

 

Thanks to Michelle B., Amy S., Juliana & Lauren C., another Amanda S., Karyn T., Bea V., and Claire O'B for the legal ease.