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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jan132012

You Say Tomato, I Say Turnip

Hey, everybody! Do you know what time it is?!

That's right, it's "You write the &%#* post, john!!" time!

So, uh, yeah.

Let's see... I need something really easy to write so I can go back to playing my video game. (Those aliens aren't gonna kill themselves!)

Right, how about some wedding missed marks? Or as I like to call them, "Let's have an Epcot in the comments about getting what you paid for!"

Weee.

BEGIN!

Ooh, pretty. Of course, this cake was on MarthaStewart.com so it was probably made with platinum shavings and unicorn tears.

Now let's see what Patty I. ended up with.

Bummer.

(On a side note, all I can hear as I write this is the MarioKart music as Jen vanquishes her little cartoon foes. That and the occasional, "In YOUR FACE, Donkey Kong!!")

 

Next cake:

No lie, this is one of my favorite cakes in our library. And please note that it's made with fondant.

Or as Buddy would call it, Fahn Dahn.

Now, people often complain that Missed Marks always have a fondant inspiration cake with an all-buttercream wreck, which is why they're so horrifically bad. So for a better comparison, here's Tina M's resulting cake which was made with fondant:

It's like apples and pigeons.

(I'm now laughing maniacally at my own joke. I think I'm tired.)

 

I can't think of anything funny to say about this next cake. So instead, I'll just sing a song that's currently stuck in my head.

"You're BEAUtiful! You're BEAUtiful! You're BEAUtiful - it's true!"

"La, la, la, something WHAT to do."

Aaand, that's all I know.

Also, I'd like to apologize to Michael and Stephanie for taking 4 years to post your cake. I overslept.

 

This next inspiration cake is awesome:

Huh. Maybe this one is my favorite. Maybe I just like blue. I'm so confused.

Never mind. So let's analyze the incredible complexity and skill required to make the gorgeous design above:

Step 1. Make a three-tiered round cake.

Step 2. Stick blue circles on it.

Aaand let's see how Serena P.'s bakers did!

Perfect!

Well, that's all the time I have, since I'm pretty sure I just heard a Wii remote hit the wall. And that's never good. ("Oh no, Luigi lose! MAMA!")

So, until next time, be thankful that Jen writes this blog.

Thursday
Jan122012

Getting Ahead

I've been feeling a bit blah this week. Call it the post-holidays slump (I miss my Christmas tree), call it the winter blues (It's SO FREAKING HOT), call it Al - whatever the reason, I'm more inclined to lie on the couch and cruise Etsy or play Mario Kart than any of my usual, marginally more productive activities.

So, as of right now I've decided to hop on the ol' treadmill desk and write something really positive for once. Something life-affirming. Something cheerful. Something to remind myself I've got nothing to complain about.

Right after I show you this:

(Hint: It's NOT a guy on his hands and knees under a sheet.)

Wait for it...waaaiiit for it...

Ahh, there's the screaming.

And, whaddaya know? I feel better already!

Nope, no complaints here!

 

Thanks to Anony M. for sharing her winning entry in my unofficial "Worst Christmas Gift Ever" contest. You're a cut above the rest, my friend!