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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Apr282009

Happy Day, Earth!

Yeah, yeah, so I missed Earth Day. I promise I did my best to drastically curtail my usual polluting practices for the occasion though: I waited until the next day to chuck all those batteries into the lake.*

Anyhoo, I promised you lovely twits on Twitter that we would extend the celebration here on Wrecks and have a whole Earth Week. So that's what we're doing. [putting on green & purple party hat & blowing on noise maker] Yay, Earth!

Now, where's the cake?

What? I was supposed to bring it? Oh, I see how it is: I've got to do everything around here, don't I? [rummaging through photos] Fine. I'm sure I can find an Earth cake in here somewhere...

Ah! Here we go:

Umm, no, wait... Sorry, that's apparently an attempt at a Spaceship Earth cake. Or a big fuzzy golf ball. Totally different.

UPDATE: To the scores of you telling me this is supposed to be Disney's Epcot Center: Um, yeah, I know. See, the ball at Epcot is called Spaceship Earth, NOT Epcot. Give a Diz Geek a little credit, eh?

[returns to rummaging] Let's see...Earth cakes...Earth cakes...

Well, that's more of an earthquake. Although it's nice how the Wreckerator added that bridge in to span the gap. In fact, I think it fits right in with the triple-cloned Mickey, Pocahontas, matchbox cars, roses and palm trees, don't you?

Moving on...How about some earth movers?

See, since "earth" is also another word for "dirt", this actually makes perfect sense.

Although I must say, they're getting quite generous with the cake toys these days, aren't they? Just look at the size of those things! Pretty soon they're going to start slapping Big Wheels on cakes and calling it a day. (No, I don't know why they'll call Big Wheels on cakes "a day", but trust me, they will.)

Here's my favorite - and probably the most appropriate - Earth Day confection, though:

The message couldn't be more clear: Recycle, or die in a fiery mushroom cloud. Now that's how you teach the younger generations, my friends.

Glitter, Katie T., & Quenby S., have you hugged a tree yet today? And if not, may I recommend this one?

*This joke (and yes, it is a joke) was shamelessly ripped off of Matt Barnette. Thanks, Matt!)

Monday
Apr272009

The Twilight of Our Discontent

Unless you've lived under a rock for the past year or so, you know about the vampire lust phenomenon that is Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series. Naturally, it was only a matter of time before a bakery, in an attempt to appeal to the "I'll buy anything with Edward Cullen on it" crowd, decided to recreate the iconic book cover on a cake.

So here's the cover:

Aaaand here's the cake:


I'll give you a moment.

[whistling]

Ready? Back in your chair? Good.

Now, can I appreciate the irony of a vampire cake that sucks?

Of course I can.

Do I mind that the apple is now a red bell pepper?

Nah, not so much.

Would I still like to know what the Wreckerator was smoking when s/he made those flabby-yet-disjointed amoeba arms?

[nodding] Yes, yes I would.

Kelly L., I know you have a stake in this, so I hope you won't be cross when I say looking at this bite-sized sucker is making me downright batty.

[bowing] That's five! Five puns! Mwah-ah-ah!