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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Sep032009

Blame Decopac

These days many bakeries dream of the day when cake decorating will consist of two steps:

1) Ice the cake, and
2) sell it.

See, actually decorating a cake requires time and effort, and therefore is discouraged where possible. To help bakers achieve this lofty goal, a few enterprising companies (we're not naming any names here....except for that one in the title, of course) are manufacturing all-inclusive instant "decorating" kits.

Here's an example:


Cute, huh? As you can see, plastic is SO in right now. Not only does it save on frosting, but it also allows anyone with the skills of a semi-trained monkey to "decorate" a cake. It's foolproof! All you need is a rounded lump frosted brown, and you're good to go - just stick the plastic bits in! Who could possibly mess that up?

[sigh]

Alright, Wreckerators, now you've actually got me curious: Can you possibly make this look any worse?

Wow. I'm impressed. This looks just like the carpet adhesive we put down last Spring.

Now how about something for the cat lovers haters out there?

From this...


To this!

Taylor G., Tracy F., & Alex M., apparently there really is more than one way to skin a cat.

- Related Wreckage: Going to the Dogs

Wednesday
Sep022009

If You Want Something Done Right...

"Darling, I don't mean to criticize - because I appreciate your ordering the shower cake, I really do. It's just that...well...I asked you to get a baby basket."

"And I'm just not sure this is conveying the right message.

"No, dear, it will not be fine; now it looks like we're hosting a baby funeral!

"Hm? Well, what about your cupcakes? How are they supposed to help?"

"Aaaaauuugghh!

"Well, what did you expect me to say?!? Yes, I think everyone will 'get the visual', dear. That's the problem.

"Because it's gross, that's why!

"Now look, I need you to go back to the bakery - are you listening to me? - I need you to go back to the bakery, and get another cake. And remember: We are preparing for a new life. Happy, cheerful, life. We are avoiding death, mmkay? Got that? Good. Now hurry up; the party starts in an hour."

[Later...]

Dylan B., Angie F., & Meghan E., I'm told that cupcake is vegan. Anyone else find that ironic?

And speaking of which, if you live in Utah and are imagining all the events you could liven up with some gourmet vegan fetus-cupcakes, then you can order them here. (Uh, I don't think they call them fetus-cupcakes, though. And please don't tell them I sent you. Heh.)

- Related Wreckage: You Say Goodbye, and I Say Hello