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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Dec092011

Cannonball!!

There's been a lot of speculation over the exact course of that errant Mythbusters cannonball that went flying through a suburban neighborhood this week.

Yes, gone are the days when cannonballs will fly in dependable straight lines and plop down with nice dependable kabloomies. These days they use the front door, ricochet through bedrooms, bounce up hills, careen through streets in a drunken fit, and generally behave almost exactly the way cannonballs don't.

Fortunately, we can trace the trail of wreckage and piece together exactly what happened. So let's follow along, shall we?

4:14 PM: The cannonball "myth" fires.

(BWAHAHAHAA!!)

(Sorry.)

From there, it bounded over barriers, sailed through suburbia, and ricocheted off the top tier of the Kyle-Deckard wedding cake:

Followed by a quick bounce off the Maitland anniversary cake:

...a quick hopscotch through a local pound cake display...

...and a sliding skid through a nearby birthday party.

Next it executed a tight right turn, picking up speed while narrowly missing these two characters:

Nice reflexes, guys.


Then things REALLY got interesting.

 

The shockwave from the ball's* passage knocked 3 out of 4 turkey's heads CLEAN OFF.

*"Ball's". Heh. Aheh. Heh.

...AND blasted the cake right out from under a Mr. Louis E. Tully's frosting:

"And that wasn't fondant, man," stated Mr. Tully at a press conference later. "it was buttercream. Anyone wanna take my picture?"

 

Next, according to a sheriff's spokesperson I am totally not making up, "the cannonball took a few unfortunate bounces."

After which it bowled through an innocent tray of cupcakes...

...repeatedly pummeled a defenseless ice cream cake...

... and, apparently just for spite, rolled behind the counter and scrawled grammatically incorrect insults on all the waiting orders.


This was one nasty cannonball, guys.

 

Finally, after literally bringing down the house...

"Oh, oh, oh!"

...the cannonball came to rest in little Arthur Dent's birthday cake:

Where it was iced over and sold by the pound.

THE END.

 

Thanks to Katie M., Jessy A., A.S., Bre D., Alexis G., Michelle M., Joel F., Kevin P., Jennifer E., Monique R., Lisa B., Beth J., & my all-time favorite cannonball wranglers, the Mythbusters gang.

 

And now...

BONUS FUN CAKE OF AWESOMENESS!

Submitted by James B. and made by Ginger Pops, aka Faeries-Demise on DeviantArt

 

Say, is Adam missing an eyebrow? :D

 

Thursday
Dec082011

Finally, a Baker Who Gives a Crap

Balloons: 0


Crap: 1


Thanks to Uri S., who thinks a rose by any other name... still doesn't look like a balloon.

 

 

UPDATE: My, my, so many negative Nancies in the comments! After all we've been through, you guys still think I'd put up an intentional wreck? I'm hurt. Truly.*

*Not truly

Anyhoo, for all of you crying "staged!" here's what happened, according to Uri:

"After a lengthy attempt of explanation as to what I wanted on the cake ('just happy birthday with maybe some balloons or something birthday-ee like that') and the woman (who spoke very poor English) behind the counter not understanding- I finally just typed out on my phone what I wanted and handed it to her. This was the result. I was crying I was laughing so hard."