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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Feb232011

Wreck Reaction

Guys, I think the Wreckerators are on to us.

Yep, while we've been focusing on all the actual *cake* wrecks, bakers have been industriously wrecking just about every other item in the bakery, and then some.

How else can you explain "The Brownie Ball?"

It's a giant ball of icing with brownies stuck in it.

I kid thee not.

Now, do I want to eat this?
Of course I do.
Does that make it excusable?
No, it does not.


Hey, just because *I* don't have any self-respect doesn't mean bakers shouldn't.

Or, if you prefer your giant ball of icing rolled in sprinkles and served on a cookie platter:

Perfect for the children of someone you hate.

It's not all sugar and sprinkles, though. Hoooo no. See, unfortunately, the deli guys decided to get in on the "decorating" action, too.

BEHOLD!

Billy Bear Bologna:


And you thought nothing could make chicken mcnuggets look healthy.

The world's cheesiest gingerbread man:

"Oh noooo!"

Yes, that's really a cheese "ball." Decorated with icing.
Because cheddar & buttercream = Gouda upchuckin' fun!

And finally, for that perfect Beetlejuice-inspired treat...

Pineapple upside down shrimp "cake:"

SWEET MERCY I THINK ONE JUST MOVED.

Hey Amanda, Erin M., Zoe R., Nicole B., & Brittany B., daylight come and me wan' go home.

[Update: the final "cake" has sparked a lively debate in the comments, so perhaps this video instructional on making a "Smörgåscake" (submitted by Marcus B.) will help.

Just kidding; it won't. But if you want to see a guy yelling instructions in "Swenglish" and violently throwing ingredients around, then it's pretty funny.]

Tuesday
Feb222011

Bake a Cake, Diss A Vow

Words are a vital part of the wedding ceremony. With them you promise to love and cherish one another, declare your commitment publicly, and tell Uncle Randall to ease up on the Jägerbombs. Or at least stop dancing.

So, it's no wonder that some couples want to incorporate words on their wedding cake. And it's also no wonder - at least to me, heh - when those words spell disaster.

Or misspell it, as the case may be.

Note that the baker used the classic Wilton letter press on the first tier, but then gave up and free-handed the rest. And how "forword" is misspelled. And that "for worse" is left off. Now note the spacing. And the colors. And the...oh, are you ready to move on?

I'm told one or two of those words are misspelled, but frankly I was too distracted by the heaps of soggy seaweed to notice. Maybe that's the point?

No. Just...no.

Jessica wanted the writing on her cake to match the font of their invitations, so she brought in this handy reference picture:


She also asked that the roses be made of icing.

Drum roll, please!


I especially like the roses. Classy.


I think this one's my favorite, though:

Give it a minute.

Let it all sink in. Or line up. Or whatever.


Now, at first I thought the baker had stacked these in the wrong order, since it kind of looks like the top tier connects with the bottom one. When I saw the back, though, I realized:

I actually have no idea what is going on with this cake.

And finally, a tip for all your wedding wreckage:

The uglier it is, the more you should emphasize the word "beautiful."


Perfect.

Thanks to our wedding wreckporters Leslie F., Meagan R., Joe D., Jessica S., Angela C., & HickBride, who are all da bomb. But not Jägerbombs. 'Cuz that'd be weird.