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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jan042011

Resolution Time

Each January, millions of people around the world use the dawning of a new year as a reason to stop eating HoHos. And each January, millions of people fail miserably.

[shaking fist] (I wish I knew how to quit you, HoHos!)

But not this year...

This year, I resolve to:

Eat more fruits and vegetables.

This counts, right?

Cut down on my caffeine intake.

...especially while baking. It makes your hands shake and there's nothing worse than dropped Bawls.

Take responsibility for my mistakes - even the itty-bitty ones that no one else would ever really notice.

The frownie face shows I'm sincere.

Learn Esperanto.

So I can be more like Captain Kirk.

And finally, stop selling babies on the black market.

...or at least start packaging them better. (Customs can be such a pain in the butt.)

Thanks Rachel T., Lisa, Alicia G., Monique R., Jessica R., Karilee S. Hmm, Captain Kirk, beer and herpes. I think I remember that episode...

Monday
Jan032011

The Cake Wrecks Hangover Cure

[lowering lights]

[tiptoeing closer]

[whispering] Good morning, sunshine! Happy New Year. How's your head?

Oooh, that bad, huh? Well, I know you partied pretty hard this weekend, so we're gonna take today's post nice and slow and easy. Like a peaceful, breezy feeling. A sweet, cool, stomach-calming....


Oh.

Sheesh, what'd they frost that thing with, marshmallows and warm head cheese?

Hm?

OH, right! Sorry, sorry!

Aw, you're looking a little pale. You know what would help? More cake.
[nodding knowingly]


How convenient! The Oreos come pre-chewed!

Whoa, there, pal. You sure are sweating a lot.

Quick, take a look at this:


I'd say the fly died after seeing the moldy strawberry. What do you think?

Wow. I've never actually seen someone turn that shade of green before. Fascinating.

Well, listen. Maybe you shouldn't scroll down any further.

No, really, I mean it.

You really shouldn't be scrolling down here in your condition.

Or any condition, for that matter.

In case you haven't figured it out yet, this last cake is really, really gross.

Like, life-time-trauma level disgusting.

You're still scrolling.

What are you, some kind of sadomasochist?

I'm telling you, this thing is NASTY.

Well...

Ok.

But don't say I didn't warn you.

Last chance to scroll back!

Aaaand...

Prepare to squirm:



[yelling] The bathroom's the first door on your left! Happy New Year!

Anony M., Carissa S., Jessica, & Anony M., thanks for kick-starting my New Year's diet plan.