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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Nov012012

And Who Are YOU Supposed To Be?

Last night those of us who celebrate Halloween had the pleasure of being mugged repeatedly by little hellions armed with the threat of trickery and plastic candy buckets.

I kid, of course. At least two of the kids who came to our door had full-size trash bags instead of candy buckets. They literally could have thrown themselves away. They also weren't with any adults and didn't appear to be wearing costumes, but I'm sure that just meant they were dressed as the always popular "ungrateful child with entitlement complex."

I kid, of course. I love children. To be far away from me. And quiet. Quiet children who are far away from me are awesome. However, I'll also settle for kids wearing charming homemade costumes which make me feel all nostalgic and superior, because I can TOTALLY paint my face better than that. Just sayin', Spider-Man.

 

Halloween costumes are a lot like these wrecks: you may not always know what they're supposed to be, but you can still appreciate the effort that went into them.

Or lack thereof.

Actually, that cake is exactly like the store-bought costumes we grew up wearing in the 80s: SOLID PLASTIC. All it's missing is a giant "BUGS BUNNY" plastered across the chest.

But with today's costumes - as with these wrecks - sometimes a little educated guessing is in order:

Is it mostly blue? 

Then you've got three choices: Smurf, Cookie Monster, or someone from Avatar.

Or possibly the ghost of Cookie Monster (note the translucent hand) wearing a Smurf's hat and wailing about a tree.

(Please note: I've never seen Avatar, but I know there's something about a tree in it. John HAS seen Avatar, and now thinks I'm a horrible, horrible person.)


If excessive sideburns are involved, then it's probably Wolverine:

Unless there's no cigar. Then it's Dora the Explorer.

 

 If it looks like a cross between Heathcliff the cat and a pile of crap, then, uh...

 I'm sorry, I was distracted by the sheer towering pile of crappiness here. I think I can almost see it wobbling -  but maybe that's the post-Halloween sugar high talking. (FACT: you can never have too many "fun-sized" Almond Joys. THEY JUST GET MORE "FUN.")


And finally, if it's wearing the stricken expression of someone who will give you all the candy you want if you please just don't hurt him...

...then you're probably looking in a mirror. So go have some fun-size Snickers and put your feet up, my friend, because you've earned it.


Thanks to James W., Rachel T., Nadine A., Alison T., Kathryn S., Becky C., for sending me all their fun-sized Almond Joys. And Twix. And Reese's Cups. Aw, you guys are the best.

Wednesday
Oct312012

Hail, Oh Ween!

 Sure, you could call it Halloween, but where's the fun in that?

 

SEE HOW MUCH MORE FUN THIS IS?

 I'M SHOUTING BECAUSE OF ALL THE "FUN!"

 

"Haaloween?" Throw in an umlaut, and you've got Ikea's next bookshelf.

 

 

The only holiday that fills you with candy, but still leaves you empty inside.

Or something.

 

 HAIL!

 

And my personal favorite:

 

 

On a completely unrelated note, I'd like to point out that this is supposed to be an eyeball:

But you know how else you could make this look almost - but not quite - exactly UNLIKE an eyeball?

 Like this:

Head, meet desk. Desk, head. Aaaand, repeat.

 

Thanks to Mrs. O., Jeremy C., Kelly S., Chickpea, Micheal B., Kat B., & Loni for helping us see eye-to-eye. You've been great pupils!