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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
May012012

UNHAND THAT WRECK!

You guys have seen the bizarre new meme called One Tiny Hand, right?

 

It's pretty much like this.


Anyway, as with so many viral sensations, One Tiny Hand has made its way into cake form!

 

You, uh, might want to brace yourself.

 

Although, to be honest, it might take you a second to actually notice the hand...

 

 

And now, a little poetry.

ONE TINY HAND

WILL TICKLE YOU IN YOUR SLEEP

WHILE BABY BIG HEAD WATCHES

WITH HIS DEAD-EYED STARE

MAKING THOSE MAGGIE SIMPSON "SQUICKA SQUICKA" NOISES

ON HIS PACIFIER.

MANY, MANY YEARS OF THERAPY LATER

YOU STILL FEEL THE TICKLE.

FAHRVERGNUGEN.

 

Hey Michelle F., thanks for the hand out.

Monday
Apr302012

Basic Instructions

How to Literally Be the Worst Wreckerator:

 

1) Many names have unusual variations these days, so always remember to double check the spelling ahead of time.

 

"And her name is Starr with two 'r's."

[writing] "Star...with... two 'R's. Roger.

"No, Star."

"Lady, I got this."

 

2) A picture may be worth a thousand words, but sometimes it only takes a few to get the general idea across.

 

"Hi. I'm looking for a Super Mario cake with a green pipe on it - you know, the thing with the plant coming out of it? I called it in a few days ago."

"Oh, right. Um..."

"Sorry, ma'am, but your cake is in another bakery."

 

3) Keep in mind that some grammatical words have more than one meaning.

For example, 'slash' can also mean 'kill', 'period' can mean 'length of time', and 'space' will always be a mystery.

"Not gonna lie; I would have slashed to go to a 'Pirate Space Palooza' when I was 12. Period."

 

4) Ordering a cake shouldn't be rocket surgery, so always strive to make the ordering process as easy as possible for your clients.

 

"Hi there, I'd like to order a cake? It's for my friend Vicki; she's turning thirty on Thursday."

"No problem! I'll just write, 'Vicki Thirty Thursday', then, shall I?"

"Um, no - just a simple 'Happy Thirtieth' will do, thanks."

"'Happy Birthday Thirty,' comin' right up!"

"No no, I want 'Happy Thirtieth,' and then her name on it."

"Yooooou betcha. 'Thirty Happy Vickies' it is!"

"Are you daft? Look, I just want 'Happy Thirtieth, Vicki' ok?"

"OH! Of course! Silly me. Now I understand."

"Finally! Thank you!"

"I just have one question."

"What?"

"Where does the 'Thursday' go?"

[silence]

"Vicki? You ok?"

 

 

Thanks to Nancy W., Michele S., Steph W., Nancy E., and my good friend Scott Meyer of the real Basic Instructions for the inspiration.