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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Saturday
Oct242009

There's a Fly on My Cake!

So I'm browsing around the internets the other day looking for bug cakes (don't ask) and I come across the Flickr page of Second City Warehouse. What I saw there made my trackball come to a screeching halt. It seems that Steph's boss, Carl, was leaving for a new and better job and it was Steph's job to pick up the booze and the cake. But I'll let her tell you the rest of the story:

"Of course, I wanted the cake to be very special and couldn't think of anything else to put on it aside from a bat fly." [I feel like we're missing something here.]

"So, I picked out Carl's very favorite microptics print [Who doesn't have a favorite microptics print?] and took it to the bakery to see if they could replicate the image on a cake in frosting. "At the bakery, I decided to cut to the chase, so I pulled the picture out first thing in order to make sure they could transfer it. The bakers were stunned into a profound silence as they stared at the photo. I opened my mouth to explain, but a little voice in my head said, 'No no, don't. It's funnier this way.' "When they finally tore their eyes away to look up at me, I smiled and said, 'So. You guys are the experts, let me know what you think. I was thinking of a blue border, but I'm not sure about the decorations. Balloons, do you you think, or flowers?' "The manager of the bakery didn't really answer my question, just silently filled out the order form and wrote 'balloons.'"
Y'all ready to see this thing now? Here 'tis:


"When I got the cake, I was tickled to see that they had attached frosting balloon strings to the hind leg, the wing and somewhere near the head. I suppose they weren't sure how a microscopic insect might choose to hold a balloon." [Well, that makes about 75,000 of us.]

Let me just say that this cake has given me a whole new appreciation for grocery store bakers. Thanks for letting me borrow your story, Steph!

Note from john (the hubby of Jen): Several of you have noted that this isn't a "wreck" in the strictest sense of the word, to which I say, true that. It is, however, a fun cake story. And it's Saturday. Go with it. Peace out, yo.

Friday
Oct232009

When Wreckerators Take the Fall

I may be sitting here with the A/C cranked in the southern swamp affectionately known as "Florida", but I have a feeling that Fall will be here soon. And lest we have any doubts, some bakeries have taken to posting helpful weather updates on their cakes:

Next week they're debuting "Bring a jacket; you'll catch your death in this chill."

I can't really tell if that's a threat or a promise, though. Sure, the pumpkins and cherries look happy, but those tree claws seem rather ominous. [shiver]

Fall, of course, is known for its colorful foliage.

We don't have any of that in Florida. (Pine cone pile, anyone?)

That's ok, though; with cakes like these, I don't think I'm missing all that "mulch":



Ah, you don't often see this level of technique used! You see, dragging a knife through icing takes confidence, a steady hand, and the kind of technical know-how that knows exactly which end is the pointy one. [nodding seriously]

Still, no matter how you slice it, those skills pale in comparison to this...

...feather? Spear?Long-necked snail? Worm in a hat? Worm in a skirt? Garden trowel? Underside of a snorkeler's leg?

Hey, I could go on all day. I suspect, however, that Zoey K., Hap C., & Brady want me to make like a tree, and get out of here.

- Related Wreckage: Fall Fumbles

(Note: If you now have Biff on the brain, congratulations! You're a geek! Now go watch this funny song he sings as a reward.)