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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Sep152011

T-Minus FOUR WEEKS

In four weeks, John and I will be embarking on our 17-city book tour up the East Coast. (Yep, we're up to 17! We decided we might as well include the city we actually live in.)

Now, I realize many of you won't be able to attend one of our tour parties, because you're unreasonably adamant about not driving cross-country or getting international visas just for giggles and free cake. (And you claim you love me. HMPH.)

Therefore, I've decided to offer you non-tour-attendees something to fill the Jen-shaped hole in your CW-loving hearts: free personalized book plates.


(And let's just not delve too deeply into the thought that I can be replaced by a giant sticker, mmkay?)

These book plates are glossy 5x7 stickers specially designed to match the design of both Cake Wrecks and Wreck the Halls, and feature everyone's favorite carrot jockey in the lower corner. They're a great way to personalize my books as gifts, and usually sell for $4.00 each plus shipping on our Stuff page - but you can have them for free.

Naturally, there are a few caveats:

To get your free bookplates, you'll need to buy/pre-order five or more new copies of either Wreck the Halls, Cake Wrecks, or any combination of the two titles. You can buy the books from any store, online or not, so long as you have a receipt showing the sale.

E-mail us a copy of your receipt, along with your mailing address and any special requests for the personalizations, and we'll ship you your bookplates on our own dime - even internationally. Meaning they're completely free for you.

Who loves ya? Huh?

Now, here's where it gets interesting:

For purchasing five or more copies, you'll receive an equal amount of personalized bookplates to the amount of books ordered. So five copies = five bookplates, over a $20 value. Considering that some stores have both CW books available for around $9 each, that'd be $20 worth of free stuff for less than $50 spent. Not too shabby.

For purchasing 10 or more copies, you'll also get a free Cake Wrecks Greatest "Hits" pin pack, worth $8, making your free loot total about $50.

 

After that, you'll receive one free pin pack for every additional ten books you purchase, in addition to one bookplate per book ordered.

Now, for purchasing 50 or more copies, you'll get one plate per book, five pin packs, and the satisfaction of knowing that all of your holiday shopping is done. And you just can't put a price on that. (Although it's at least $240.)

I'm hoping to get my signing hand back in shape before the tour, so c'mon, Wreckies; hit me with your best shots.

Also, get those orders in soon, because this offer only stands until October 10th; once we're on tour, all bets and legally-binding incentive offers are off. If you decide to purchase plates after 10/10, know now that they won't ship until we return from the tour in late November.

E-mail your receipts and bookplate requests to bookplates[at] Cake Wrecks [dot] com. Sorry, no combining receipts; all 5+ copies must be on a single order. Also, please allow up to two weeks for your loot to arrive; we're kinda busy over here.

A few pertinent links: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Indie Bound

And once more, because I never get tired of watching it:

Wednesday
Sep142011

WE NEED MORE ROOSTER TEARS

"Missus Jen, how many wrecks does it take to get to the center of your resolve against believing in a voodoo curse placed on our bakeries' numeric suffixes?"

"Let's find out!"

 

Firth of all...
I really like saying "firth."

 

Toothly, allow me to point out that this is after they "fixed" it:

So I'm guessing it used to read "2rd."

(Psst. Say "2rd" out loud. Go on. It's fun! You know you want to.)

 

And thirthly...

Hey, that was fun. Let's try that again:

And thirthly...

(Resolve...weakening...)

 

And THIRTHLY...

They think the brown and yellow drips will distract us.

They're right.

 

Ok, ok, let's quit horsing around and get to business:

And thirthly:


Yep, that's it. I am now thoroughly convinced there is a nefarious Voodoo plot formed in the bowels of some super villain's bakery to make us all sound like Daffy Duck.You just can't argue with this kind of evidence.

But we're on to you, super villain! We know you're out there!

Ok, fine, you've made your point. Clearly we are at your mercy.

Aaand now you're just showing off.

In fact, Mr. or Mrs. Super Villain, I think I speak for us all when I say: "You're dethspicable."

 

Thanks to Anne, Jessica B., Sarah S., Jamie R., Kacey S., Vivek R., Teri R., & Diane C., who I've just inducted into my new Superhero League, Capes for Cakes. Report to the secret lair for your lassos and piping bags.