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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
May282010

This Weekend, Pig Out

Since Monday is Memorial Day, I thought you guys might appreciate a few food tips before your weekend get-togethers kick off.

Tip #1: So long as you have beer and bacon, all of your male friends will be happy.

Which is why I, as a girl, think it would be hilarious if you substituted all the beer and bacon with beer and bacon cakes, like this one. Just think how pleased the guys will be at the surprise!

Tip #2: Know your pig.

Calm down; I mean the animal.

Sometimes I think a vegan named these things. "Haha! I will name THIS one 'jowl butt,' so NO ONE will EVER want to eat it! Mwuhahahahaa!

Now, who wants some niiice fresh asparagus?"

Tip #3: Sometimes it helps to channel your inner Freddie.

Ewwww.

Tip #4: Or, if you're like me and subscribe to the "no guts; too gory" philosophy of food, try the all-inclusive cooking method:

Just don't forget the apple.
I don't know why. Just...don't.

Bonus: When you're done, you'll have a lovely centerpiece!


"I see you eating that jowl butt. And, yeah, I'm totally judging you."


Never mind all that, though, because the important thing to remember here is the glory of bacon.


Apparently it even makes 40 better. Although what that has to do with a mountain range at sunset is beyond me.

Julie B., Kellie B., Jade B., Dorota, Monica I., & Melissa C., notice how I didn't say anything about head cheese? Yep. Some lines you just don't cross.

Friday
May282010

Der Burger!

As you are no doubt aware, today is National Hamburger Day. It's a day of celebration. Of history. Of patriotism. And, of course, of ridiculous amounts of icing smooshed between two cake layers.

Mmmm. Lovely.

That's not to say all hamburger cakes are bad, of course. Sometimes, a truly excellent one comes along:

(by the ├╝ber talented Sugar Chic Cakes)

...to show us just how wrecked the rest of them are:


"Hey, hey, bay-bee! You got some fries with that cake?

"Whassat? Just dry cake crusts? Oh. Never mind."

Of course the key to a good burger wreck is to keep the customer guessing:

"Is that really a burger cake? And if so, what are the red pointy things? Or the yellow pointy thing? Is the fireworks doodad supposed to be helping? Do they honestly expect me to pay $9.99 for this? Really?!?"

Good questions, all, but more importantly...

...am I the only one seeing a giant alien head here?

C'mon, green eyes, brown lips, cranium about to explode like a jiffy-pop bag? You see it, right?

Ok, ok, so it's easy to make fun of cupcake cakes (haaaaaw-ptooie!). It's not like it's much harder with these:

Bringing "dirty-iced" to a whole new level.
(A dirty, dirty level.)


I call this one "The High Hat" -

And this, "The Escaped Experiment" -

"The containment field can't last much longer! Everyone to the exits!"

"The Bonfire" -

(Onion smoke rings cost extra.)

And finally, "Peter's Pack of Peppers" -

Now with beach sand topping!


Ashley M., Angela E., Alicia B., Christy M., Lindsey F., Julia G., Torie C., Stefanie M., Abelina V., & Paula B., have it your way.

And in case you missed it before, here's the reason John will randomly exclaim, "Der Burger!"