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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
May122011

HB to Me!

Let's see...

In 2009, I announced the publication of my first-ever book, Cake Wrecks, which went on to become a New York Times' best-seller. (woot woot!)

In 2010, I launched my other blog, Epbot, which went on to become "that steampunk blog by the Cake Wrecks girl - you know, what's-her-name." (woot woot!)

Now here we are again, my birthday, 2011. How can I top these past two years? What big news will I break? What ground-breaking, trail-blazing new venture will I embark upon?

***

No, really. Have any ideas?

Nothing? Really? Huh.

[tapping teeth]


Well, I guess I could always try to find a good birthday wre...

Whoah.

Well, that didn't take long.

Let's see what else I've got in the ol' files here...


I'm not sure what this says about me, but all I see is "Happy bowel disease."

Well, praise B!

That's...not much better. (Does that really say "happiy?")

Theeere we go. Perfect.

Phew! What a relief!

...

Who's Walter?

And my personal favorite:

When obscene phone calls become cakes.

Well, as fun as that was, I still feel like I should be doing something a little more - I dunno - exceptional for my birthday post. Hmm.

Oh!

I know!

There IS this little thing John and I happened to throw together last night...

And now, on the off chance you're experiencing some unconscious need to make me happy by pre-ordering yourself some wrecky goodness...[please please please???]...the goodness is available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Borders, and everywhere else books are sold. Just think: all of your holiday shopping could be done in the next five minutes. Eh?

As a further icing carrot, here are a few fun facts:

- 232 pages of wreckage (yes, it's even longer than the first book. I, uh, got a little carried away.)
- gorgeous hardcover for prime gift-giving goodness
- approximately 75% all new content, with nearly 100% new commentary.
- Have I mentioned it's my birthday?
- and that it's only $14.99 (or less)?
- and said "please?"

Thanks to Michelle K., Jennifer A., Alicia J., John Y. (aka johnthehubbyofJen - because, yes, we look for Wrecks, too!), Amber T., & Lorraine D. for my birthday cakes.

Wednesday
May112011

The Words Get in the Way

My friends, there's an epidemic sweeping our nation's bakeries that I think you should know about: SPATIAL AWARENESS DISORDER.

And believe me, it's SAD.

It starts innocently enough.

First you might notice a few odd gaps in their writing:


Then they run out of room:



Then they decide to just keep going:


The next thing you know, the bakery's sense of scale is swinging wildly from one extreme to another, ranging from the microscopic:


To the titanic:

"We had to bake three more cakes to fit it all in, but we made it!"

Occasionally a wreckerator might recognize that s/he's made a mistake:

Thereby making it worse.

In its final stages, the SAD affect can get doubly bizarre:


Bakers lose all sense of gravity, distance, and direction...


...and even more disturbing: appropriate word placement.

To this day, Nanny still can't look the mall Santa in the eye.

Thanks to Chris S., Rebecca M., Marina C., Rachel P., Cindy E., Marc, Trish M., & Alison for finally exposing the third rail of cake decorating.