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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Saturday
Mar202010

Cake Wrecks: The Music Video

To fully appreciate the amazing awesomeness of today's fan feature, you need to be familiar with the Lazy Town song and video, "Cookin' By the Book." Don't know it? Then go here to watch the clip - it's surprisingly catchy.

Ok, everyone caught up? Good. Now, behold: WRECKIN' BY THE BOOK!

This inspired homage was written by Carrie Dahlby for The Funny Music Project, a regular contributor to the Dr. Demento show. (You can't ask for better credentials than that, can you?) This group of genius musicians publishes new comedy songs and/or videos every week, and if you head over there now you can download "Wreckin' by the Book" for free!

I recommend playing it over and over again until your kids beg for mercy. Then make up a little dance to go with it. Something I can do. So, lots of awkward swaying and off-beat clapping. Yeah. That'd be awesome.

A great big wrecky "THAK YOU" to Carrie, Luke, and their whole madcap team for making my week. You guys wreck AND rock.

And because they're hilarious and must be read to be fully appreciated, here are the lyrics:

Shoebox:
I pile on the frosting
In brown and fuchsia lumps
This work is so exhausting
That my spelling talent slumps

Chris:
I'll wish you "heppy bertty"
Or "Happy Hallydays"
Or "Happy Falker Satherhood"
For this year's Father's Day...

Carrie:
It's a piece of cake to make a wrecky cake
Just be a little lazy
Don't gotta do the cooking by the book
Just make it weird and crazy
Never use a classy recipe
Just gob on frosting daisies
If you throw away your cooking book, then you'll wreck a cake
We've got our Cake Wreck made
Our Carrot Jockeys cake
Finally it's time to wreck a cake

Devo:
Wrecking cakes has its own science
Quotation marks abound
Decorate with raw defiance
Making chocolate fecal mounds

Wyngarde:
Don't tell me "I want sprinkles"
If that is what you want
I'll squeeze out "I want sprinkles"
In a pretty frosting font

Carrie:
It's a piece of cake to make a wrecky cake
Cake wrecks dot com will tell you
You also gotta buy her funny book
That Amazon will sell you
You do not hafta be the "Ace of Cakes"
Just make a fondant fish stew
If you do the wreckin' by the book, then you'll wreck a cake
On Superbowl Sunday
We'll make a wrecky cake
Finally it's time to wreck a cake
And on our wedding day
We'll make a wrecky cake
Finally it's time to wreck a --

Luke:
Break it down, Jen! Show all bakeries why
They should have a spelling test before hiring some guy!
Grab some cupcakes, slather icing inch high,
Make a Curious George that'll make a kid cry!
That pink tarantula? That's a cake wreck!
That daffodil pony? That's a cake wreck!
That flaming armadillo? That's a cake wreck!
That groom's slab of beef? That's a cake wreck!

Carrie: Luke:
It's a piece of cake to make a wrecky cake - What!?
Just be a little lazy - Okay!
Don't gotta do the cooking by the book - What!?
Just make it weird and crazy - Yeah!
Never use a classy recipe - Cake!?
Just gob on frosting daisies - Wreck!
If you throw away your cooking book - Yeah!
Then you'll wreck a cake

Luke:
Cake wrecks dot blogspot dot com
Has the cakes that are the bomb!
Army men like Vietnam?
Made by pros, not by your Mom!
Naked Mohawk baby carrot jockeys rule the world
In a vortex of doom, trapped inside a puce swirl!
It makes your head spin, like you're on a Tilt-A-Whirl!
I saw Darth Vader with a baby, "It's A Girl!"

Carrie:
You gotta do the wreckin' by the book! Cake!

Luke:
Yeah!!!

Note: If you don't recognize all of the Wrecks in the video, that's because many of them are from the book. Did you know that 75% of the book is new Wreckage? And that the book is less than $10 on Amazon? Huh? Didja? Didja?

You did?

Oh. Well, good, then.

- Related Wreckage: Because Every Blog Needs a Jingle


Thursday
Mar182010

It's Life, Jim, But Not As We Know It

We can always count on our Wreckporters to explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations, and boldly submit some of the rarest wreck species ever seen.

 

Like the skinnileg piglet nervosia, or "South American Worried Grasshopper Pig:"


Thankfully, this one is saying "Oink!" so we can differentiate between the Grasshopper Pig and the Machu Picchu Googly-Eyed Hot Dog.

The hippopotamus runoverus, or the "Peruvian Pink Pan-Flattened Hippo Dragon:"

The pepto hallucinatus, or "What You See in Your Dreams After You Eat Sausage Pepperoni Pizza Before Bed:"


This friendly guy, the runfor yourlife itsa tarantula withrabies, or the "Chilean Snuggly Bug:"


And finally, the quackae lasiks caterpillarus, or "Someone Should Probably Go Ahead and Call an Exterminator... and an Eye Doctor."


Ryan S., Jill B., Seth W., Stephanie B., and Anne R., you must be awesomus wreckporterus!

Related wreckage: Creepy Crawly Cakes