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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Saturday
May082010

The University of Chicago Scavenger Hunt

Nothing to see here, non-University of Chicago people! This is a special post just for the UC scavenger hunt, so these are NOT the Wrecks you're looking for. Move along, move along.

What, you're still here? Ok, fine, here's some background info:

"The University of Chicago Scavenger Hunt was founded in 1986 by (yep, you guessed it) a bunch of nerds from the University of Chicago. Over time, it has grown to become what many consider to be the world's largest scavenger hunt, with items ranging from homemade nuclear reactors, to elephants, to the one you're about to see right here. A cabal of University of Chicago student judges write all Scav Hunt items and awards points to final submissions, keeping the list secret until the beginning of the Hunt, and teams race to beg, borrow, steal, and do as many of the 250+ items on each year's list over a four day timespan."

Well, this year I was honored to have Cake Wrecks included on the famous list! Here it is, clue #79:

"It’s Scav Inger Hunt's 23rd birthday, and 99.9% of mohawked baby carrot judges agree: I WANT SPRINKLES. Craft a thoughtfully artistic, yet still scavvly commemorative cake, and it better be purdy enough to be featured as a Cakewrecks Scavday Sweet. Under Neat That: submit your Wreck by Friday at 10 pm, and we’ll let Jen pick the one destined for internet fame."

And here are the submissions! [drum roll, please]

From the GASH Team, a "My Little Pony":

Or so they claim.

From Breckinridge House's team: a "thrillin' failure" (their words) of Michael Jackson:

(True story: When John & I first saw this he asked who it was supposed to be, and I guessed "Edward." I'm not sure who that insults more: Twi-hards or Team Breckinridge. So...sorry, everyone.)

From Sonia A.'s team, a "wooden labyrinth game":

In Sonia's words: "We tried."

Stop the press! Someone on the Snell-Hitchcock team actually has a working knowledge of fondant:

Not bad! Definitely the nicest cake you'll see here today, although I haven't a clue what all the stuff is. (Other than the sombrero. [Assuming it IS a sombrero])

The Federation of Independent Scav Teams claims this is a wreckplica of several items on the list:

Which frightens me. What else is ON this list, anyway? 0.o

From Macpierce's Master Chef Allison:

"Scab Hurt" Heh. Heh.

From the Burton-Judson Team (aka "Dr. Scodel's League of Atrocious Wonders"):

Christine tells me they were going for cute, "but I think something might have gone wrong."

From the Glass Panopticon:

Ah, classic Wreck elements. I like it.

And finally, the Max P Team used real honest-to-goodness carrot jockeys, in addition to "misspellings, left out numbers, poo swirls, ant sprinkles, a rainbow of various other sprinkles, and an umbrella, all to top off a CCC shaped like a furby":

Yep, I'd say we have a winner!

Best of luck to all the teams who participated.

(Naturally, any team that didn't submit a Wreck should be doomed to failure.)
Thanks for the fun!

Friday
May072010

She Turned In Her Own MOTHER

Sometimes the best part about your Wreck submissions isn't the photo, but the e-mail that came with it. Today's Wreck is aces on both counts. So allow me to allow Sarah L. to give you the intro.

"This wedding cake was made by my mom (who you can see having a nervous breakdown in one of the pictures) for her brother's wedding. Yes, she's my mom, but she IS a professional pastry chef. She went to culinary school, works at the Ritz Carlton, and her brother paid her for her services. (She's made several wedding cakes for $$ since then that turned out much better...I SWEAR.)"

You'll understand why Sarah was so adamant about her mom doing better work in just a moment.

In fact, I'd say all will be made clear right...about....

...now.

Hi, Sarah's mom!
Say, you DO kind of look like you're having a nervous breakdown. Perhaps if you sprinkled a little more powdered sugar?


To be fair, Sarah offers the following explanation:

"The wedding took place during August in Dallas, and I think the biggest lesson here is humidity and fondant DO NOT mix. The cake was essentially "sweating," and as it melted, it began to lean."

And yet, bravely, (some might say suicidally so) Sarah's mom battled onward:

Ah, that's better. The writing really helps camouflage all those...er...bulgy bits. Don't you agree, Sarah?

"...it ended up looking like it was constructed by an over-caffeinated toddler with poor spatial awareness."

Whoah, whoah, whoah! An over-caffeinated toddler with poor spatial awareness? Really? C'mon, maybe if she just added a few flowers...

Oh.
Or...not.

So I know the readers are dying to know, Sarah: what was the final verdict?

"It was made with love, and it tasted great, but...I thought the bride was gonna have an anxiety attack."

You mean she didn't have an anxiety attack? Aw, now that's a couple that's gonna go the distance, right there.

Well, I think we've all learned some valuable lessons today. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to dig up some embarrassing pictures of my mom during Band Camp; this mom stuff is comedy GOLD.

Oh, and Sarah? Better go with the premium bouquet this Mother's Day. With chocolates. And a few diamond necklaces. Delivered ahead of time. By someone else.