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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Jan132010

The Labor of Love

Sure, you could go with rubber duckies and baby blocks, but that's sooo last decade. Today's shower cakes are all about the biology of baby-making: tasty and educational!


And while you're at it, why not congratulate dad, too?

Of course, mom also did her part:

(Whoah, whoah, whoah! TMI, Dad, TMI!)

You could even illustrate the whole process with the aid of disturbing plant analogies:

(Raise your hand if you're going to have nightmares about daisies sprouting Alien-style from your midsection tonight. Anyone? Anyone? Just me? Alrighty, then.)

Granted, the process doesn't always start exactly the same way:

Thank goodness that cup is labeled. Otherwise, we'd have some concerned coffee drinkers on our hands right about now.

And what does all this love math equal?

(No, your eyes do not deceive you: that IS a Fetal Bite cookie in that there uterus cake. Excellent.)

And that brings us to the Big, Life-Changing Moment!


AAAAAAUUUGGGHHHH!!

Yep, I'm changed for life.

Casey D., Heidi D., Hillary M., Kristin J., Jess, Shari W., & Tiffany D., when you're ready to have "the talk" with your kids, feel free to come back here for visual aids.

- Related Wreckage: First Impressions

NOTE: No, I'm not I'm trying to tell you something with this recent rash of baby shower posts. Are you forgetting this post? And this one? I just figured baby cakes in January made sense: new year, new babies? Yes? No?

Tuesday
Jan122010

Show Offs

Sometimes the things bakeries put in their display windows make you wonder: they do want people to buy their cakes, right?

Poor Thomas. All that pastel and plastic flotsam have turned him into the little engine that could - in a pinch - kill you.

Some people are afraid of clowns. Other people are afraid of robots.

Two groups, one cake:


YOU WISH ME TO THROW CREAM PIES? I'M SORRY, DAVE. I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT. YOU SEE, I'M LACTOSE INTOLERANT.

If you're not afraid of clowns or robots, though, then this next specimen has you covered.

I can't quite pin it down, but something about this cake really bugs me.

Everybody knows nothing draws in the crowds quite like big-time Hollywood celebrities, though. So hey, why not feature Patrick Swayze, Michael Jackson, and Heath Ledger all in the same cake?

Well, I did say IN.

Oh, and if you're wondering what all those brown pellets are, there's a nice big rubber rat on hand to point your thoughts in the right direction. Yummm.

Bakers, just remember: the important thing with display cakes is to show potential customers what you're made of. Show them your raw talent, your years of experience, your impeccable sense of form and style, your...uh...

...your pipe cleaners?

Um. Ok. Yeah. You, go, you! Bend those pipe cleaners! And then...then smash them into that icing! Yeah! Woo! Haha!


Eric D., Monique R., Amy N., Vic., & Jill B., with time and effort you, too, might one day master the pipe cleaner arch.

UPDATE: Hey, would you believe that today is actually HAL 9000's birthday? Finally, my knack for unintentionally posting news-relevant entries results in something good!

- Related Wreckage: Bakery PSA