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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
May182012

From The Baker Formerly Known As "Prince"

I was working part time in a bakery line
My boss was Mr. Wreckie
He told me several times that he didn't like my signs
'Cuz I spelled too "creatively"

 

Soon he had me lookin' for something else to "destroy"
But different from the day before

That's when I saw it - Oooh, I saw it!
I dropped it right on the tile floor (tile floor).

It was a
Raaaaaspberry purée

The kind you grind and then reheat to pour

Raaaaspberry purée

And if it gets warm it starts to look like gore

Raaaspberry purée

I think I loooove you.

 

Mr. Wreckie
Now, had the nerve to ask me
If I planned to do him any harm

I told him, "Look, man,
I was only bakin'
Surely NO cause for alarm!"

I said now, jelly roll cakes never turned me on
But somehow the purée and bread mixed

Eeee-eEEEE-ee! That was a fright!
But I could tell Wreckie missed me;
Soon I was back to my old tricks:

Thanks to the
Raaaaaspberry purée
The kind you grind and then reheat to pour

Raaaaspberry purée
And if it gets warm it starts to look like gore

(EW!)

Raaaspberry purée
I think I loooove you.

 

Thanks to Diana S., Jillian, Katelyn C., Leigh E., Tara S., Jamie B., Renee, Michelle M., Elizabeth C., and Megan P. for showing us what it sounds like when doves cry.

Thursday
May172012

Triple Whammy

"Hi there! I'd like to order three cakes for a joint birthday party, please. I'd like the first one to read, 'We're turning fifty!'"

"Hm... I'm not sure all that will fit. Is it ok if I shorten it a little?"

"Sure, whatever you think will work."

"Excellent. And what would you like on the other two?"

"Well, one of the birthday girls is also retiring, so I'd like the second cake to say 'Congratulations Dorothy' in gold icing."

"We don't have gold icing. We have yellow. Light yellow, dark yellow, yellow that's nice with cheese..."

"Oh. Well, that's ok! Then just write 'Congratulations Dorothy' and get as close to gold as possible."

"Nooo problem. And what would you like on the last cake?"

"Ah, that one's for Joe. Could you, aheh...could you draw the Playboy bunny on his cake?"

"The what?"

"The Playboy bunny."

"The bunny?"

"YES. THE BUNNY."

"Oh. Ok. Sure, I can do that."

 

[LATER]

BAM!

 

POW!


KER-BLOOIE!!

 (Scout's honor, guys: they tell me they really did ask for the Playboy bunny.)

 

Thanks to wreckporter Rachel V., Gwendolyn J., & Melena S., who knew we shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque.