Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jul272012

8 Cakes For Completely Inappropriate Occasions

I'm a firm believer in celebrating just about everything with cake, and from the submissions you guys send in I'm clearly not the only one.  However, there's celebrating, say, a new vasectomy or Daddy's parole, and then there's the stuff that some people might consider, well, inappropriate cake material.

 Not me, of course. No sir! Heck, I say, you wanna get pregnant? Then SAY IT WITH CAKE:

 

Or you're happy you DIDN'T get pregnant? Say THAT with cake.

 

Let's say your friend Cory suffered a nasty seizure recently. That warrants a cookie cake, right?

(Remember, kids: It's "i before e except after c." Except in the word "seizure.")

 

And remember that time your friend lost a finger to the lawn mower? Just in case he doesn't, let's remind him! With cake!  

I like how this is less a "get well" cake, and more an "IN YOUR FACE! With love from the Lawn Mower" cake.

 

Driving while intoxicated is a serious crime, so be sure to tell your friends you won't stand for such behavior. Also with cake.

I like to imagine the candles are mini breathalyzers. 

(How cool would that invention be? Right? I'll make millions. MILLIONS, I say!)

 

The world is too success-oriented. We should be sending a better message to younger generations. A message that says, "Hey, no matter what, at least you'll get a cake out of this."

 

Dangit. Why don't I know any lady farmers to give this to? WHY?!

 (PS - You misspelled "Awesome." But I'll let it slide, because melons.)

 

 

And finally, my favorite: 

Hang on... we get cake for that? 

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?!



Thanks to Anony M., Katelyn, KG, Paul S., Paige S., April B., & Stephanie K. for the inspiration.

Thursday
Jul262012

Baby Bears All!

Yesterday I offered to buy John some nipple pasties, but before you judge, it wasn't for anything "weird." It was just to cover his nipples. 

You know, when he goes running. Because they hurt. His nipples, I mean. When he runs. I like talking. In short, choppy sentences. Like this.

Which just goes to show, well, everything except the nipples. But also that you should never make snap judgements on anything.

Take this cake, for example:

 

 At first glance, it's just a pink bear with a little black nose being shunned by three invisible, barefoot ghosts.

BUT, look closer, and you soon realize ...

SWEET BETTY CROCKER, THAT BEAR IS EATING A BABY!!

Which explains why the ghosts are shunning him, if you think about it. After all, eating babies is never something you want to encourage - is it, bakers?

Of course, after a fifth or sixth glance you might start to think that isn't a bear at all, but rather a knitted pink snow suit with an unfortunate child stuck inside...being shunned by three invisible ghosts. Which makes SO much more sense for a baby shower. o.0

Right, I take it back: in this case, a snap judgement really IS the best option. It's a bear. And I like men who wear pasties. Because I'm a weirdo. A fun, fun weirdo.

 

 

Thanks to Joy O. for being weird with me. But not in a weird way.