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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Mar232009

Such Deers

It's becoming as "classic" (ie cliche) as the red-velvet armadillo cake, and yet guys still want dead Bambi for their groom's cake. Go fig.

Yeah, yeah, guys, I get it: you want your cake to show some personality, reflect your interests, and ideally gross-out the in-laws. But really, a giant dead animal on your wedding day? Really? This must be another time when my plumbing prevents me from grasping the intricacies of the male mind.

At least this one's still showing some signs of life:

Well, as much as the baker, anyway. (Ah, candid photos, how we loathe thee.)

Oh no, but look! He's sinking into the Swamps of Sadness! Fight against the sadness, Artax! Don't let it get to you! Just because you're about to be carved up and served on camouflage-print paper plates is no reason to get all down in the dumps! Artaaaaax!!

[sniffle] Sorry. I hate that part of the movie.

Ok, where were we? Oh, right, at the economy section:

Sure, it doesn't feed many people, but then no one will want to eat it anyway. See? A win-win. Plus, mad props to the garnisher; those green spriggy bits are really classing the joint up.

Of course if we've learned anything here on CW, it's that a green & purple party hat can make everything allll better:

(By the fabulous Tara of Tara's Cakes, who has an equally fabulous sense of humor.)

Like so.

I know we shouldn't look a gift deer in the mouth, but those buck teeth* are cracking me up. I can almost hear him saying, "Gawrsh! Why don't you carve yourself a slice? Ahuck!"

Still, I'll take goofy over spooky any day. And I'm not sure there's a chipper enough party hat in all the world to uncreepify this guy:

Sure, he's smiling, but that smile never quite reaches his eyes, you know? And he won't stop staring, like he knows something I don't.

Hey, you lookin' at me, punk? Yeah? Well quit your smirking,
or I'll break your antlers off!

Oh, I'm sorry; I see someone already did. Huh. That had to hurt. Well, never mind.

Lauren S., Laura M., Erin C., Kaylee K., & Anony M. you sure know how to rack 'em.


*Get it? "Buck" teeth? Hah, that was the crowning touch, wasn't it?

Related Wreckage: You Say 'Redneck' Like it's a Bad Thing

Sunday
Mar222009

Sunday Sweets: Like Buttah

Buttercream icing, that is.

Yep, here's another fondant-free installment for you purists out there. I've got nothing against fondant per se, but I do agree that all-icing decorations are much yummier. Besides, it's nice to see what cake artists can come up with when they're limited to non-fondant options.

First up, Alison B. of Town Lake Cakes certainly knows where the wild things are:

Alison, will you tell us your secret to drawing such perfect characters? I'm guessing you used either a stencil or possibly hand-drawn chocolate transfers - am I close? Of course, whatever you used, I love the result.

Speaking of love, I am gaga for the bright colors and glass-smooth icing on this Abby Cadabby cake Shelly M. got for her daughter's birthday:

Isn't it adorable? And you'd really never know it wasn't fondant, the lines are so clean. The bakers over at The Cake Stand in McKinney, Texas clearly have some mad skilz.

You know how we're always getting down on grocery-store decorators? Well believe it or not, not all of them are illiterate goofballs; some of them are real artists. And a few of these artists are determined to change my mind on the horror of CCCs. Yeah, like that's gonna happen. [eye roll]

However, I will grudgingly admit that this Squidward CCC is darn impressive:

The decorator in question whipped this up for a customer on the spot at the grocery store where s/he works, but asked to remain anonymous. For those of you not up on your Sponge Bob characters, here's a reference shot of Squidward:

Nice, huh? Or at least, it looks like him. ;)

And lastly, Jody H.'s creation - also a Cupcake Cake, and also all buttercream - is flatly astounding:


Wait, wait, wait. A CCC...with airbrushing... and it's NOT a WRECK?!? I think my head may implode: clearly we've entered some kind of parallel universe here.

Oh, and if you don't recognize Jose, the famous "Jalapeno on a Steeck", watch this:
(Note to moms: vid includes mild language.)