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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jul162012

The Power of Suggestive

Attention Parents: Today's post contain adult humor - albeit extremely childish adult humor.

 

You know how it goes: you see something, you choke back a laugh, you look around to see if anyone ELSE is laughing, you note that no one is, and then you figure your mind is just in the gutter and you're the only one who sees something a little iffy about the sheep bone on this one-year-old's cake, for example:

[Photo removed at baker's request. (Although *she* thought it was funny; the client did not.) Instead, please enjoy this lovely picture of Epcot. And then imagine a sheep holding a giant dog bone at hip level.]

Doooo yoooour "bones" hang low?
Do they dangle to and fro?
Can you toss 'em in a sack?
Do they startle little Bo?

Ahem.

The point, my fellow gutter-minded friends, is pointing skyward at the moment - and a little to the right.

But in a more metaphorical sense, the point is I understand. Call it a hazard of the job, but I, too, often see giggle-inducing unmentionables where others see, say, unusually shaped "flowers:"

{Insert stamen joke here}

 

And I'm forced to wonder just how curious Curious George has become to warrant a giant censor dot:

 

Of course, some people are even further down the gutter pipes than I am, as evidenced by those of you (John) who felt this less-than-ladylike graduation bear deserved a mention - or at least a longer gown:

Sew Unseamly! Someone get this bear a Barely There Censor Bear, STAT.

(Btw, I've heard of a nip slip before, but what do you call this?)
(No, wait - don't answer that. There are innocents present.)

 

Ok, I know that one was a stretch - [rim shot!] - but tell me you're not in the LEAST bit curious why a baker decided to do this:

Maybe it's a pun: you know, a trunk down the Gingerbread man's trunks? But then, why does the elephant look so unhappy?

Again, probably best if you don't answer that.

 

Ever see a cake so cute you just want to squeeze it?

Yeah, I'm feeling the exact opposite of that right now.

 

And then there are the cakes that cross over from vaguely disconcerting into outright cringe-inducing:

WHY IS THE END OF IT DIRTY?!!

And... [whimper]... is that a pearl necklace?

Close the internet. We all need showers.
What? No, not together - ok, COLD showers, for some of you.
And maybe a case of Unicorn chasers.

 

Thanks to Anony M., Beth B., Carrie C., Patrick V., Katie Q., Cindy K., & Lesley W. for ruining the song "Butterfly Kisses" for me. No, wait, that was already ruined. Never mind.

Sunday
Jul152012

Sunday Sweets: Villain Edition!

San Diego Comic-Con is going on right now, but tragically I'm not there, which means I've been obsessively checking my Twitter feed all weekend so I don't miss anything. (It's not easy living vicariously through blurry twitpics of celebrities and great cosplay [and sometimes celebrities IN great cosplay] - but by golly, I'm trying.)

So since I've got major geekery on the brain anyway, I thought I'd focus today's Sweets on - what else? Geek cakes. But more than that, I've decided to feature geeky villain cakes. 'Cuz geeky villains are cool. (It's the outfits, am I right?)

 First up, the horniest Loki cupcake you will ever see:

Submitted by Sarae B., made by Nerdache Cakes

*snerk*

I discovered this Tumblr blog a few weeks ago, and just about flipped for all of Ant's nerdy cupcakes. (And she's only 19!) You should click over and check it out - so much geek glee.

 It takes a special kind of couple to have a Predator/Alien-themed wedding cake:

 

Submitted by Kenkire, made by Black Cherry Cake Company

Specifically, a couple who should be friends with me. (Oh, and to whoever decided to put a tiny top hat on the Predator: Bravo. BRA...VO.

I am deeply ashamed to admit that I've never read Dune, but I'm going to assume the giant sandworms fall more on the "villain" side of the spectrum:

Sub'd by Rebecca A., made by Jana's Fun Cakes

(I'm sure you guys will correct me in the comments if I'm wrong.) 

Also, this is another wedding cake, if you can believe it. Check out all the tiny teeth!

 

Now here's a classic villain from my childhood, so I know him well:

Sub'd by Nick B., and made by Truly Scrumptious - the same folks behind that jaw-dropping standing Cyberman I featured last April.

 It's here to EXTERMINATE your hunger, haha! (Sorry; obligatory Dalek joke.) I like how Dalek dresses are all the rage at conventions now, too. Who knew killer robots wielding bathroom plungers could be so chic?


Speaking of chic, here's the best-dressed villain in today's post:

Yes, really - she's handmade, and edible! (Check out another closeup here.) By the always-amazing Highland Bakery.

I have to take a quick break from the villains to show you the best Stargate cake I've ever seen:

WOWZA. Look at all that detail on the gate! And the watery texture on the event horizon! Seriously, this cake is encoding and locking ALL my chevrons, IF ya know whatta mean. (Stargate humor. Heh. Aheh. Heh.)

Ok, back to the bad guys:

 

Sub'd by Kat B., made by Cake O'Clock

I'd like to thank Cake O'Clock for going easy on the raspberry syrup. Thank you.


And now, perhaps the most iconic villain of all...

 Sub'd by Elizabeth A., made by Crazy Cakes

Vader!! Shiny, shiny Vader. Seriously, I have my own Vader helmet at home (don't ask), and it's not half as shiny as this cake. I think this cakes looks better, too. Seriously amazing.

Of course, we can't have Vader (or at least his helmet) without an official Storm Trooper escort:

"Hi."

That, my friends, IS the dessert you're looking for: a life-sized Storm Trooper cake!

Don't believe it's cake? PROOF:

Oooh. Stabbed in the back - that's cold.

 

We haven't had enough comic book villains yet, so...how about Venom?

Sub'd by Gayle G., made by Chocmocakes

 And an adorable stylized Harley Quinn?

By Dream Day Cakes

 I love this style SO MUCH. I only wish they had a matching Joker cake, too!

 

 It's amazing what some bakers can do with just buttercream; check out this Sauron's Eye cake:

Sub'd by Claudia S., made by Emily/ emzstar

"I SEEEE YOU. 

"So stop picking your nose. Srsly. That's disgusting."

 

And every evil disembodied eyeball needs a giant evil tower, right? Right.

BEHOLD!

By Cakes by Erin

This cake - yes,  CAKE - was over two feet tall, and set on a One Ring cake base.  Look at all the crazy detail in there:

 

 I'm at a loss as to where - and how! - you'd even BEGIN to cut this. Care to weigh in on that, Erin?

Well, that's it for this week's Sweets, guys! So, to those of you enjoying the nerdvana that is Comic-Con right now: have fun! I hate you a little! And to the rest of you: mosey on over to Epbot for some of my favorite pics and video (ESPECIALLY the video - funniest thing I've seen all week) from SDCC - there's plenty there to make your inner geek squeal.


And, as always, if you have a Sweet to nominate then please send it to me at Sunday Sweets [at] Cake Wrecks [dot] com!