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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Nov152012

Er Mah Gourd!

Eek! I forgot to mention yesterday what is possibly the most popular indicator of Fall - you know, the one you see in every coffee shop, restaurant, and bakery across the nation.

Yep, I'm talking about that ubiquitous Fall flavor:

 

...Poop brûlée

 

Kidding, kidding. We all know the actual flavor of Fall is pumpkin:

...with poop on top.

 

Or on the side!

 

Or just washed down the edges.

 

Or whatever is happening here.

 

And when bakers aren't grossing us out with log-a-riffic "stem" action on their pumpkin cakes, they're busy gleefully spitting in the eye of Mother Nature:

I can just imagine them dramatically twirling their mustachios now:

 "Take THAT, nature, with your natural shapes, and your natural colors, and your sickening lack of spikes and crappy silly string. HA. Haha! AHAHAHAHAHAA!!"

 

 "Oh, and I always wanted my pumpkins to have a sphincter, so there."

 

Now, you might be questioning whether that is actually supposed to be a pumpkin.

First of all, NEVER QUESTION THE JEN.

Lest she speak of herself in the third person.

And second of all, of COURSE it's a pumpkin.

Can't you see that it's orange? And green? And brown? 

 WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT, YOU UNGRATEFUL PEOPLE PUMPKIN EATERS?

 

 Ah. 

Well, don't you worry; the turkey cakes are coming.

 

Thanks to Carol W., Rheanne K., Dawn R., Brady, Julie P., Holley R., Jessica S., & Lisa S. for the excuse to type the following: Ermahgourd! Permpkins!

Wednesday
Nov142012

Fall's Fails

Fall is officially upon us here in Florida, as evidenced by the fact that it's a blustery 78 degrees outside tonight. (Don't worry; I've already broken out the scarves, sweaters, furry boots, and electric blanket, just to be safe.)

The other way you can tell it's Fall, though - besides all the Floridians in snowsuits - is the fall-tastical offerings in our nation's bakeries:

 

It's a...um...leaf. 

I think.

 

Theoretically I KNOW this isn't a Can-Can dancer lifting her skirts, but darned if I can see anything else.

 

Because nothing says, "MMAAAUUUURGGHHH!!!" like a Hay Beast with peek-a-boo breasticles.

 (HAY-O!)

 

 Well, except maybe the Bell-Bottomed Scare Bear of Perpetual Perplexity:

 

He's Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Stayin' Alive.

 

Oooh, and if your birthday happens to fall during Fall, then you also have these fun options:

 

Thanks to this cake and John's alarmingly comprehensive knowledge of slang words, I now know that "nut" is also a verb.

I don't recommend looking it up.

 

With all due respect to yesterday's cake, this is a way better fire department theme:

My deer, you are on FIRE tonight!

Also, I think I'd have that lump checked out. Just sayin'.

 

And finally, this bakery helpfully reminds us that Fall is "Harevet Time"

  So get those bunnies in for their yearly check-ups ASAP, hear?

 

Thanks to Kiki, Nancy M., Addie H., Sarah T., Bevin, Tanya S., & Shelley for the nice trips.